A Little More Than Nothing

Yeah, I'm movin' on, but that's the way it goes.

2010-06-04T17:12:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Liar Liar by NeverShoutNever
Feeling: Excitement about the POOAL

I know I had that title of a recent post already, but the blog is moving, and I thought it would be appropriate to have that as the title. I put on this song specifically so I could have that as the title.

The blog has moved to
http://hobomerz.blogspot.com/

I'm basically just starting over. I see all my immaturity here and also a lot of memories I don't want to have; and anyone who wants to Follow me on here should Follow The Anatomy of a Pseudo-Hobo blog, which will soon have it's first post. I just have this doodle I want to do with the first post, which is why it isn't posted yet. I'll be better about posting and try not to be so boring and everything.

And so, thank you for all the years, guys.

The natural life; you're born, you die.

2010-06-03T14:04:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Natural Life by Breaking Benjamin
Feeling: The opposite of OPA!. Which must mean something terrible.

Holy granola, my organs hurt. Don't ask my why my organs hurt. I just know they do. Mom tells me I must've slept wrong, but it feels like an alien ripped open my stomach while I was sleeping and pounded my organs because he was bored, then went back home. That's how bad they feel. Oh, and my spine hurts. My ribs hurt. My eyeballs hurt. He probably beat those, too.

Though this post was not supposed to be about everything that was currently causing me pain, it seems that's the way it started off. Oh well. Let's go ahead and get to the topics at hand here, shall we?

I was just contemplating on the fact that I am a person who likes to remember "the good times," an awful lot. I'll just look over and dad and be like,

Me: Dad, do you remember that time?

Dad: *sighs dramatically because he knows what's coming* No, I remember no such time. I don't remember any of the times.

Me: Oh, sure you do. It was that one time when me and you and mom went to the park and we played with those velcro pads and the baseballs that stuck to them because I can't play any real sports, but then I thought I could play real sports so I said, "Let's play soccer!" And then we started to play makeshift soccer but you kicked the ball pretty hard and it flew up into my face and hit me in the nose and I had a bloody nose and I was all upset?

Dad: I vaguely recall.

Me: Good times. 8D Oh, wait, no, I thought you had broken my nose and I was going to be horribly ugly for the rest of my life D8< Bad times, bad times!

And this is how these things go with us. I'm always remembering that one time, and half the time my parental units don't even know what I'm talking about. They are highly convinced that I've made up half of my childhood with false memories and the other half are real but I don't remember those as much because they aren't as exciting for me as the false ones. Though I am absolutely positive they're just old and don't remember the finer points of my upbringing.

I, however, remember all of the finer points of my upbringing. Like how when I was younger I saw those Leprechaun movies and I was highly convinced that that Leprechaun was hiding under my bed, and someone who hated me told him I had his gold and I'm like "Frakk no, I don't have your gold" but he still thought so anyway, and if I dangled a leg or arm over the side of my bed he would claw the crap out of me and drag me under the bed and murder me. To this day I'm still in the habit of attempting to keep my limbs firmly on the bed; never mind that underneath my bed is so much crap there would be no place for the Leprechaun to hide, unless he could shrink himself.

And I wouldn't be surprised.

A more recent memory, though, is that dad has this box thing. It makes noise like it's some huge frakking dog but really it's just a speaker, and he put it in my bathroom as I was passing by. It has a motion sensor. And I'm all ladi-da-dee-isn't-life-super-special-awesome with my iPod in my hand and a dog in the other and this thing goes off. I scream, and I don't even know what I scream, but I scream, drop my iPod and set dog down as gently as a freaked out person an and run. Run like I am in a freaking MARATHON, because I am a survivor and I was highly convinced there was a demon in my bathroom.

I ran directly into dad, who was hunching down in the hallway to witness this reaction -- AT NIGHT, MIND YOU -- so I thought the demon was double-teaming me with another demon before I realized it was dad, who was LOL, ROFL, LMAO, OMGWTFBBQ'ing in the hallway. I basically tried to scrabble over him and told him to save me and basically told him to be eaten by the demon who was after my poor, pure soul. Before I figured out everything was a joke.

The moral of the story is: be careful if you have as big as an imagination as I do.

God, help me I've come undone out of the light of the sun.

2010-06-02T15:52:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Give Me A Sign by Breaking Benjamin
Feeling: Tired.

Yeah, I'm probably not going to be posting the lyrics with the song title and whatnot anymore. It's not like it's a big pain in the bum for me or anything, but there just really isn't any point to it except that I haven't seen someone do that. Though I will keep using lyrics as post titles. Alright, let's go ahead and get to an official post here so Flash can read it, maybe comment, and then we can all go back to our normal lives.

First of all, the suminagashi class was not exactly as I expected. Just picture me at the library with my father, whom I forced to take the class with me as some sort of bonding exercise, and I'm waiting for the class to begin because the woman is of course late, by over fifteen minutes. At this point, my spirits are not dampened because, hello, I'm in a library. A big building full of books. How can someone like me not be on cloud nine in the presence of books?

The point is, I spent the fifteen minutes plus by getting some books. Once she finally does arrive and the class is called to session, I promptly realize this day is going to be filled, absolutely filled, with WTFery. As the class contains myself and my slightly disgruntled father, two young boys who reek of mac n' cheese and ugly boy smells and their mother who is trying to be sexy sitting in the corner wearing short-shorts but really, she's way too old for those and her thighs were not what I wanted to see, and two pseudo-artistic teenagers who obviously thought they were all that. One of them was wearing a beret.

Yeah. A beret.

So the teacher comes in and instead of being deep and artistic like I imagined her, she's Miss Happy Rainbow Sunshine Unicorn, and basically treats us like we're in preschool. Which, judging by the immaturity of the two young boys next to me, I'm not surprised. It is deadpan horrible for the entire duration of her explanation about suminagashi and Japan, of which I already knew about everything she said and all the materials.

Dad ended up with a really cool one that looked like a ying-yang of skulls, and I ended up with three that just sort of looked nice. Maybe I'll post pictures eventually, but I seriously doubted it. Basically, I like the art form and everything, but the woman was severely unprepared, severely condescending, and the supplies had holes in them or the brush tips would come off randomly. I still looked like an idiot hunching over a tinfoil pan that looks like its been used a hundred times before, flicking paint and ink into the water.

My faith in the calligraphy class is dwindled. Because the suminagashi class said -- apparently -- five and up. And the calligraphy class says all ages. You would absolutely not think this, due to the fact that calligraphy is supposed to be slow and precise and careful, and you don't want a toddler that eats toenail clippings in there messing about with paper and spilling ink all over everyone while screaming like a banshee.

Pray for me.

As for other news in my life, I apparently now have a pool. A very, very large above-ground pool. I'm all excited for it and everything because it's only about four feet deep, so I won't drown (Yes, I still cannot swim. So sue me). Mom's getting all excited by getting us these fancy towels with flip-flops printed on them, getting me goggles for apparent underwater adventure, those little raft things you lay on and sip your virgin margarita on, and a pool cover. And probably a new two-piece bathing suit for me. Which brings me to the conclusion that I'm glad this pool is, of course, in the backyard, and away from anyone seeing me flailing around like an idiot, LOL'ing and being this extremely happy version of myself that rarely comes out.

I also finished the pink sketchbook. I haven't started in on the black one yet, but I'm probably going to do that today. I was all accomplished and, "Look, mom! Look, dad! I finished my sketchbook!" and they were all, "That's nice, dear" before going back along their daily business. I take it that finishing the sketchbook and starting a new one means a lot more to me than to everyone else...

If you trust your neighbors, they'd never suspect what you're like.

2010-05-29T17:23:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Your Friends Are Gone by Circa Survive
Feeling: Like playing a children's card game.

"...Everything hidden is suddenly exposed
Nobody wants to hear another
Story about how you couldn't write right
It climbs in slowly behind
No one has to know
Playback, delete, and rewind
Each one is louder than the one before
And the people you care for
At ten times the expense
Of all that you've spent..."

I've decided that I might try to post a little Letters thing every week on Saturday, which will basically just be me ranting about the things that have bothered me all week. I've always wanted to sort of do a weekly thing like that, and I also wanted to do a rant-like thing. I've seen other bloggers do things like that, so I thought I might as well do it, too, and try to keep up with it. So, enjoy my rant, I suppose? I usually don't get comments, so I really don't know if I'm being boring or exciting. We'll just have to see.

Oh, at the end, I guess I'll post something good that made me happy this week.

5/29/10, Letters no.1
Dear Sun,
Sun, if you could not scorch me everytime I walk outdoors, that would be nice. Yes, I know I tan easily and rarely burn. Yes, I know I am a ghastly pale. I like it this way, and if you could stop trying to tan the crap out of me everytime I step outside for 5.6 seconds because you know it'll be another two weeks before something forces me back into the "great" *air quotes* outdoors, that would be excellent.

Dear Novel I'm Currently Writing,
I would really love if you could be easier to write. I have -- basically -- the whole plot floating around in my mind and on random bits of paper and in notebooks, but nevertheless, I am never confident while I'm writing you. I worry that the story is moving too fast, I'm not describing things well, the characters aren't three-dimensional enough, that there's too many characters in general, etc. Basically, I have no faith in myself or any scraps of skills I may have at this point. I am in a constant state of worry because of this, so yeah.

Dear Non-Existant Confidence,
It would be just superb if you, Confidence, would show up and take over once in awhile. I don't need to be over-confident, but it would be nice to feel good about the novel or myself for once. News flash for everyone involved: guys don't find self-conscious girls cute. Not that I'm even thinking about going after a guy, or that I even like a certain one (At this point, I don't), but still. You know. I should be ready when it happens, right?

Dear Art Skills,
I know I'm asking for a lot here, but can I please be able to draw hands? And arms? And legs? And feet?
...
And realism?
I just rocked the boat, didn't I?

Dear Gracie's hair,
I know you're my dog's hair and all and you probably have an ego just like she does, but you tangle so much. I have to brush you all the time, and I'm getting sick of it. Can't you stay untangled for at least a day?
It's so much easier with the pugs' short hair. Their grooming needs are practically non-existant.

And finally, the happy thing. It's optional to read, of course, like everything else.

Dear God,
Thanks for always being there for me, through the tears, the doubts, the rants, the confusion, the fear. You know I'm always a constant jumble of nerves and fear, and that I'm constantly on the cusp of letting them consume me. Still, there's always a line to cross before I get that far, and Your hands on my shoulders gently pull me away before I reach that line.
I love You. Even if I can't be honest with myself, I can be honest with You.
Thanks for everything, Father.

In a city of fools, I was careful and cool, but they tore me apart like a hurricane.

2010-05-24T15:53:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Therapy by All Time Low
Feeling: Y'know; the usual.

"...My ship went down in a sea of sound
When I woke up alone, I had everything
A handful of moments, I wished I could change
And a tongue like a nightmare, that cut like a blade
In a city of fools, I was careful and cool
But they tore me apart like a hurricane
A handful of moments, I wished I could change
But I was carried away..."

There still isn't much going on here. Just a lot of chores, a lot of sketching, some writing, and some reading. That's basically the only things going on right now, and pretty much the only thing that ever is. Except tomorrow I'm going to a suminagashi class tomorrow, and then sometime in June I'm going to a Chinese calligraphy class -- which, if you know me, will have me bouncing off the walls with happiness. I absolutely adore the Asian culture, language, mythology, whatever. And I really hate it when someone tells me that my passion for the culture will fade, or I'm just like every other teen on the Internet who loves Japan and Japan period.

But since I'm interested in all the Asian cultures, examples, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Filipino, etc. and am actually serious about learning mainly the Japanese language and learning about those cultures. I like knowing about all sorts of languages and cultures, though, but my favorite is probably Asian cultures. I don't know why. Though, since Flash lives in Latvia, I'm actually starting to learn a bit about their culture, as well.

I was going to probably write a whole paragraph up on suminagashi and one on the Chinese calligraphy, but if you want to know more about it you can learn about the suminagashi here and the Chinese calligraphy here. I think it's good to have something that you're passionate about in life, whether it be a culture or something like that, and also good to know what you want to do in life and to have hobbies. Makes your life more full, I suppose; though I'm getting a bit off-topic and much too optimistic...Once again, if you know me, I am one of the most pessimistic people you will meet. Yet, still a hopeless romantic at the same time.

Though I'm trying to kick that. Nothing good will ever come of looking at boys as if they are knights in shining armor, when I know full well and personally well that they are not. Sure, they might end up loving you in the end, but when they first see you, they are most likely -- and I'm talking 99.9% likely -- thinking about smexing you up. Do not delude yourself; this is what they're thinking. They don't see what a pretty brain you have. They are looking at your lady lumps and humps, so now you know.

I have new characters, my lovelies. I probably need to get rid of some because I have so many and only about three are fully developed -- Ric, Vic, and Mercedes -- but I still keep churning them out like nobody's business. I have a German vampire prince, Albrecht Fuerst. He's in the Ravenblood coven but kept his last name rather than changing it. Diahann Dupont and Aubin Blanc, who are both French and got divorced. It's a bit complicated, but their kids are Amadour and Aceline. I think Aceline is seventeen and Amadour is nineteen, two years apart just like Jersey and Anthony.

I'll blog again soon...I might post about how that class goes tomorrow.

Yeah, I'm moving on, but that's the way it goes.

2010-05-22T14:39:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Liar Liar by NeverShoutNever
Feeling: Excited

"...Don’t pull that s**t again
For me now, but I'm building up
I can see that I've had enough of you
I'm finally through
And all I see in you
Is another mistake right over my shoulder
Now I see who you are..."

There's been a huge lack of updates lately, hasn't there? I wanted to just post a little something so none of my Followers would think I was going on another one of my notorious hiatuses. I've been had a lack of real topic to write about here, and the reason for that is probably because of my book. I think I mentioned I was working on it quite awhile ago, but I scrapped what I had wrote and I started over...what, yesterday, I think? And so, I have six-thousand-and-some words now, and I think it's going good.

I've also been making new characters even though I already have an abundance of them, and I've been doodling a lot. My little pink sketchbook is almost completely filled now. ♥ For some reason, though, I feel really accomplished that I've drawn enough to fill up a sketchbook. I think I only started doodling in it, what, a couple months ago? I really can't say because I don't remember.

I'm also proud because I'm one of those people who can be fickle at times, get bored easily, and get discouraged easily. But I've been taking the criticism like a woMAN (Because I am a girl, and that's how we take critique), and I know that most of the people who critique me are trying to help me; not offend me. I remember when I used to get offending if someone didn't like my art. Well, when I look at my way older art, I offend myself with what I say about it.

Mom and dad already got me a new fancy black sketchbook. I was trying to hold off on drawing in it because they're going to buy my something that's supposed to stop the charcoal and pencils, et cetera , from rubbing off on the opposite page. But since I've almost filled the pink one, I probably won' t wait. I like to doodle at least one thing a day in order to improve my skills and keep techniques I've learned fresh in my mind. It's very helpful, even if I just doodle something easy or small.

As for those new characters I previously mentioned, I think the new ones I have since I last blogposted are...Jersey Wallace, Asherd Wallace, Anthony Luna, Artery, Seth, and Thaddeus Beret. Oh, and maybe Skyline. Not sure if I'll keep her or not.

Now. Jersey is in the book, replacing Jamie who was in the old one that I erased (If you're wondering who replaced Julius, that would be Vic. So now the Five are Mercedes, Labyrinth, Vic, Ric, and Jersey), and Asherd who is her brother and is briefly in the book but nothing important and I must stress he is not one of the Five. Anthony is Mercedes's current boy-toy, and is also briefly in the book, but is not one of the Five, either. Artery and Seth are two of a new race I am developing called Plaguechildren, and they are both in the Mafia which is getting a comeback in this novel, but not a story of it's own yet. Thaddeus is just a human who probably could be compared -- hair-wise -- to a blonde Weird Al. And Skyline is a flirtatious pink-haired Crow, though I'm not sure if I'm keeping her. I just really need to make new Crows...

I guess that ends this update. Hope you all enjoy the weekend.

'Cause all you people are vampires.

2010-05-12T15:22:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Perhaps Vampires Is A Bit Strong But... by Arctic Monkeys
Feeling: Sickly

"...Well I ain't got no dollar signs in my eyes
That might be a surprise but it's true
That I'm not like you and I don't want your advice
Or your praise or to move in the ways you do
And I never will
Cause all you people are vampires
And all your stories are stale
And though you pretend to stand by us
I know you're certain we'll fail.."

Well, let's just say that last night was not a good night for me. Which explains the "sickly" part of the Feeling section in this post. I won't get into depth about it, but I will say it involves a bad stomach ache that kept me up the better part of the night. Oh, well; at least I ended up getting some sleep in the end. I still was up for awhile, just messing around with my music, looking at doodles, and randomly reading some Dear John, even though I should just finish the book I started -- Jane Eyre -- I don't know. I tend to go through phases where I start on another book before I finish another, and Jane isn't a particularly huge book -- at least, I don't think so.

Yes, don't expect any serious quality to this post. I'm pretty sure it's just not going to happen.

I've been thinking lately that I need to compile a list of my characters. I sort of want to know how many I have, and get rid of the useless ones. It's pretty easy for me to get rid of a character I haven't used so much, or to get rid of an un-needed character in a short story or book. It's never been that hard. It's odd, considering how in real life I could never even hurt a fly and I'm a weaker person in general.

Speaking of those characters, though, my twins Ric and Vic are officially shapeshifters. I think I might've said once how I imagined them human and they always will be, but as you might know, I tend towards the indecisive side. Besides, Ric was a shapeshifter the first time I ever roleplayed him with Flash. I might as well tell you what I came up with for this version of shapeshifting, but it's really basic and not specific. It's nothing like Flash's shifters, who have an incredible amount of thought put into them, their world, and their races. That whole thing is so complicated that I barely understand it, and I probably know next to nothing about them compared to what is all in her mind.

Shifters seem normal up until the very first time they shift. Whatever age that is, they will become immortal and freeze in that age after the first shift. If they were born a shapeshifter, they can still die and are a mortal until the first shift (Let's call is TFS, shall we?). This can happen at any age, but commonly between the ages of 13-24. A pretty wide age-gap, right? The genes of the shifters goes for a younger age naturally.

Twins - look-a-like or not - always will shift the first time at the same time. After that, they are free to shift separately.

Their form depends on the power, strength, and sometimes even personality and morals of the person. Since the forms vary so greatly, they don't run in packs like the Realm Gods would. They still sometimes form families or groups together because they feel more at ease with their kind.

Some are only carriers of the gene and never actually shift.

They do automatically know when another of their kind is near, as this instinct has developed in them over the years. However, someone who has been a shifter longer and is, thus, older, will have a be able to sense their kind more easily than a shapeshifter who has -- for example -- just had TFS.

Their eyes tend to be vivid, and can be wild colors like red, orange, yellow, etc.

So, as you can see, it is basic and very loose. I never wanted to make some sort of super-form out of them, or something like that, and the main "breed" type thing that I am focusing on would be the Bloody Crow Creed. I would like to create a very complex world for them, and make them complex themselves, like Flash has done with her Realm Gods.

As for the reason these two are suddenly shifters, it's because of a roleplay Flash and are having. I wanted them to be immortal like her character Froze, and the kids Nora, Jesse, and Haley. It's a very complicated thing and it's more like a magical soap opera than just an everyday family RP, so you definitely don't want to hear about it.

Drama.

We're all looking for something to take away the pain.

2010-05-06T17:26:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Me, You and My Medication by Boys Like Girls
Feeling: Ergh. Is that an emotion?

"...It feels like the stars are getting closer
And the sky is closing in
And I don't know where to begin
We're all looking for something
To take away the pain
Me and you and my medication
(Making the best of it)
Love is just a chemical creation
(Will it be permanent?)
Synthetic sensation
Me you and my medication..."

I was watching some show the other night with mom. I'm not sure I even remember what it was, but it was just stupid stupid thing that actually made me think; one of the characters was talking about how she'd always wanted to be a mother, to love unconditionally and be loved unconditionally. Normally, something like this would probably go through one ear and then the other for me -- because, after all, it is just a stupid television show -- but for some reason, it started the wheels in my brain creaking.

Anyone who reads this blog regularly knows that to say I don't like kids is putting it extremely lightly. Children are horrible and disgusting to me, and I don't even plan on having one or multiples of them when I get married. So, this post is not about the child part in any way at all. What it's about is the love. Of course, I love my parents unconditionally -- never have I once pulled a teenage fit and said I hated them, to myself or to them or ever -- and they love me unconditionally.

But excluding relations, it made me wonder about love in general. I know, you guys know, my parents know, everyone knows, that I am flawed. I've never claimed not to be. I think I'm a hard person to get along with once you know me because I tend to get annoying after awhile, like a song you had on repeat for a month and now you just can't stand anymore. Once you get past the facade I put out, you see exactly who I really am.

And I do put on a facade. For everyone, except my parents and a couple close iFriends. There's only been one person in real life I truly became myself around -- the good with the bad, the pretty and the ugly -- and we got along so well once I finally opened myself up. I thought it was just a crazy, unnatural fear that I had that I couldn't trust anyone. I mean, look! This friend and I had such good times together, and we laughed at each other, and we seemed so close. Everything was going so excellently.

Now, we had known each other for years on and off before I finally was normal around her, and it happened in the summer. I slowly let go and had fun and didn't worry if what I said was stupid or if I would accidentally offend her.

Then, once school started that year, she abandoned me completely. Gone, like she was never there, like I was never there. Like we were never friends in the first place. And that hurt me, that someone could betray someone that easily without a glance over their shoulder. Though, this friendship had nothing to do with love (As we were both girls) and I'm just going off on a sub-topic, it's slightly relevant to the original topic.

Being, that with my ex-boyfriend, I was never myself around him. I was happy, upbeat, and cutesy around him so he would hopefully stay interested and be happy with me. At that time, I thought I loved him so very much even though we had known each other for a very short period of time. It took me a long time after he cheated to figure out that I've never loved before, and that it was just my teenybopper self getting enthralled with a guy who seemed enthralled with me. Even now I think of how ignorant I was to think it was love at all, or to expect anything more than what I got.

Even the short period of time I was with him, I was waiting for something to happen; for him to stop calling, to cheat, to just break-up and say he wanted nothing to do with me. This is because I am an omnipresent pessimistic in general, and I doubt that any romantic relationship I have will ever be void of these thoughts. They will be there, no matter how good I think I have it. It's just the way I am.

There's also the fact that I wonder what will happen to me the first time I open up to a boy and I get stomped on. Wouldn't that just destroy me for awhile, no matter how strong I think I might be now in the romance department? I probably wouldn't ever be the same, just like I'm not the same with friendships anymore. I do wonder if the reason I'm never close friends with anyone other than the close friends I already have is because they somehow since it's all a fake, pretty picture and are put-off by that fact.

What I do is, I listen. If there's someone I want to go up and talk to, I might glance over and see them with their regular friends and interject myself into their group and listen to their common interests and try to insert myself as one of them to show them that "Hey, hey, I'm here, too!" That's pathetic, and I know it, that I can't just say, "Oh, I don't like that. I'm not like that. I like this instead. I'm like this instead." It seems like I might offend them and wouldn't it just be oh so horrible if I did?

There's a lot of things I'd want to change about myself, and that factor is probably one of them. I don't want to be one to wear their heart on their sleeve or to be some horribly mean loudmouth, but I would definitely tweak my personality more than a little bit if I had the option. I would love to not be hurt so easily by even the simplest things, and get that look on my face that makes people want to ask what's wrong.

"Nothing's wrong; I'm fine! Why do you ask?" I say, with a smile.

I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it.

2010-05-05T11:25:00.000-07:00

Listening To: There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet by Panic! At the Disco
Feeling: Busy

"...Next is a trip to the, the ladies room in vain, and
I bet you just can't keep up with
(Keep up!) with these fashionistas, and
Tonight, tonight you are, you are a whispering campaign.
I bet to them your name is "Cheap"
I bet to them you look like shh...
Talk to the mirror, oh, choke back tears.
And keep telling yourself that "I'm a diva!"..."

Well, I finished drawing that Mother's Day gift for my mom (Because I am broke. No gold-digging men going after me, that's for sure), which is of - you guessed it - flowers, which is what she loves most of all. Well, one of the things. I was thinking of just doing it in pencil, then I thought of just doing it in charcoal so I could do some shading, and then I finally decided to just line it and color it in. I have to say, I'm sort of happy with how it turned out. I can't say if it's my best or not because, somehow, with it colored, the flowers look less realistic to me. It might just be me, though.

I don't think she's expecting anything though, so I'm going to spring with it at midnight. Hopefully dad won't steal my thunder and wish her a happy Mother's Day before I can. Not like he hasn't done that before, of course, because it is a miniature battle between us of who gets to say it first (At least, it feels that way to me, and, albeit the childish nature of it, it still feels like some sort of challenge).

Also, already done some editing to my story chapters. After much inner debate, I decided to make it center around the character Mercedes Montgomery instead of Labyrinth, because Labyrinth just isn't main character material. Leader material, yes, but not main character. He'll get pretty close with Mercedes, though (Just as friends, though, because they just don't fit romantically), so whoever reads it will have the chance to get to know each of these key-bearers or whatever they are.

Speaking of romance, though, mom told me she might actually want to read this book once it's finished because despite it being about fantasy, it sounds dramatically less romantic than the Sacrifice Trilogy. This is true. The Sacrifice Trilogy was more about Honor and Atone jumping around grabbing each others bums and casting soulful glances at each other rather than the actual fighting and plotline (Not to mention that Honor was a Mary-Sue if I ever saw one, and had less personality tham a damp piece of cardboard). Even though, I still like Atone. And Justice. And Sacrifice. I'll probably salvage those characters and keep them even though I've ditched the novel itself.

Still, if any of you know me even vaguely well, you know that I love hot guys. And, more importantly, a hopeless romantic (Despite attempting to kick that habit). So I want this story (Which has a title, as I may've mentioned, though I'm not revealing it yet except to a couple close friends) to have some romance; I just don't want it to be all romance. As much potential as that might have to ruin an otherwise perfectly nice fantasy story, I can't help it. The itch is under my skin. So far, though, no romantic couples are presenting themselves from the characters I've interjected into the story so far. Gore would never give up a life of endless ladies to get back with Mercedes, and as I've been thinking of pairing her with someone else, everyone else I've tried in the past loses it's flavor. It seems cruel, though, to make that horrible guy her true love when they'll never be together again (Or, if they are, he'll just leave her or cheat on her. As he did both last time).

I suppose that's the end of this post for now. I just wanted to talk a bit about the story and about the Mother's Day thing, since mom doesn't read my blog and probably doesn't even know where to find it. And if dad reads it, he obvioulsy isn't going to run off and tell her.

Haha, dad, I love you. ♥

Oh! I did create a new set of twins (Yes, I know I have Gore and Ryder, and Ric and Vic, but shut up): Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. I got the idea when listening to a lot of Showbread the other day. I'll say now I'm not trying to say they're God or a "god and goddess," I just use those names to show that they're powerful. They're embodiments of lightning (Yes, like the weather) spirits, and they're going into my story.

2010-05-03T20:03:00.001-07:00

Aww, I love you, too.

I'm so honored ♥

Don't know what you're made of till the one thing that you want is coming with the dawn.

2010-05-02T16:10:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Syndicate by The Fray
Feeling: Thoughtful.

"...Halfway around the world
Lies the one thing that you want
Buried in the ground
Hundreds of miles down
The first thing that arises in your mind when you awake
Is bending you till you break
Let me hold you now..."

Flash posted a serious thought about her art recently, and I've been feeling lately that I should be posting something serious now instead of a bunch of memes and posts talking about the length of my hair. Because, honestly, I'm not one of those people. I don't want to be. I am really serious, here, and when I changed the title of this blog, that was meant to bring the rest of the changes.

If any of you Follow my Twitter, you know that I have recently come out of my writer's block - hopefully for real this time - and that I have a plot and a whole book idea, as well as a title, all lined up in my mind. For a long time, when I would start to write short stories and then trash them after about 3,000 words of what I just wasn't pleased with, I was so worried. So anxious. Enough that it would literally make me sick to my stomach. I grew out of the thought that "What if I'm supposed to be an artist?" because I honestly don't believe I am. As much as I love it and as much as it makes me happy, I can't ever imagine doing it for a living. I don't have the passion for it like Flash has, or like the passion that I have for writing.

I thought I may have lost my touch. I had gone too long without writing and any scrap of talent that I had, had gone, thrown to the wind. I hadn't tried hard enough to break out of my writer's block, and looking back, all the books I had written had characters that were one-dimensional and had an utter lack of personality. The plot was thin and frail, and I would go off into random directions or fill it with a bunch of senseless jabber. Everything was so horrible, looking back on it, that I wasn't quite sure that I was meant to be a writer after all.

The thing is, with writing, like Flash, I have always pressured myself in it. I had a set limit of words that I had to write a day, and if I wrote less than, it made me a failure. It made the book or project I was working on a failure. Even so, I would always be so excited and happy while writing down the jabber, and I never doubted for a moment that it would fail or not get published if I would ever try to write it.

Listening To: Enemy by Flyleaf

"...I have made you an enemy
I have been my own enemy
I am asking for you
To forgive me
For everything
If you don't
You're worthy of compassion
If you do..."

It sounds egotistical; it sounds horrible, to type that for anyone to see. Honestly, though, I never thought about it that way; I thought about it like I was just never afraid to put it out there, no matter what. Even now, I'm not afraid to write a book and try to get it published one day. But I also realize that the chances of it getting rejected are probably better than it getting accepted.

All you have to do is try, though; you should not be afraid of failure. Being afraid of failure will cripple you and the weight will be heavy on your shoulders until you bow down to it and give up. I will never be that way.

I will not be afraid of failure.

I will embrace love, I will embrace hate, I will embrace acceptance, and I will embrace failure.

Even if I died without getting a single book published, I would know all my life that I wrote, which is what I wanted to do the most. The thing that's closest to my heart and that I simply cannot live without; I must write. To stop writing permanently would be for me to die. I've never been so committed or passionate about anything in my life as much as I have about being a novelist. Like the quote of author Issac Asimov, "If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster."

Though it probably seems a little depressing, something that's been bouncing around in my head lately that I heard a long time ago was, "I can't miss what I never had." So, if for some reason, I were never to become a novelist, I couldn't miss it. But if I stopped writing altogether - afraid of failure - then that, I would be able to miss.

I am excited about the fact that I have a plot and am going to start writing on my book today or tomorrow. I know now - in my heart, soul, mind, bones - that despite whatever writer's block or whatever doubts I may have, I am supposed to be a writer. This will never change.

But I do think I will become a novelist. Even if I have to try and self-publish it the first time, I will do it.

Come in, make yourself at home, 'cause you won't be leaving soon.

2010-04-30T10:41:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Labyrinth by Haste The Day
Feeling: Hungry

"...We are unfortunately ever so self-destructive
We live inside this labyrinth
Waiting to go home
Labyrinth oh labyrinth
Your worst is what we'd might expect from you
And in your twisted walls you sing out of tune
"Come in"
Labyrinth oh labyrinth
Your most is what we'd not expect from you
And in your tired walls you sing out of tune
"Come in, make yourself at home"
'Cause you wont be leaving soon.
All your friends are dead and gone
And you've got nothing to lose"..."

Ah, yes, I'm doing that meme. Even though I'm not on DA. And, also, even if I don't know about the characters (Since I have no contact with the people who made them, I probably won't know anything about them unless they have a bio up).

-Rules-
1. Post links to your 5 favorite characters on dA that don't belong to you and tell why.
2. Tag 5 people to do this once you're done

1. *powerdraguun's Carmise
I mean, seriously. LOOK. LOOK. She's not only amazingly pretty, but the little I've been able to RP with Flash (A.K.A., powerdraguun) with Carmise and my character Gore, it's been darn epic.

2. *ninaogfnuk's Rasputin

From what I read of his bio, he seems like a good character. Plus, he has the silver-gray hair like Ric, which makes me think of Ric. ;D From the other DA pics, Rasputin seems like a lovable goofball, too.

3. *homeobox's Sven

Yyyyeeeaaaahhh...I don't know anything about this guy, but he looks really cool. o3o; I couldn't find a bio anywhere for him, so I can't really say if I like his personality. xD I think the only vague thing I got from it is that he's messed up.

4. *HeitchBee's Gertrude

Yyyeeeaaahhh, basically, I just like loupdrakes ever since Flash showed them to me. So there.

5. *MiniMushroom's Evan

Yyyyeeeeaaahhh. I don't know anything about him, or if he's gay, or whatever, so don't even ask. I just really like all the accessories. And he's pleasing to the eye. ;D

-I tag anyone who wants to do it, because I hate tagging people unless they're Flash.

Maybe I should hate you for this; if only you knew half as much as you pretend to.

2010-04-29T17:25:00.000-07:00

Listening To: You're So Last Summer by Taking Back Sunday
Feeling: Er..back pain or something.

"..Never really did ever quite get that
Cause I'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions
This'll be last chance you get to drop my name
Cause I'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions
This'll be last chance you get to drop my name
If I'm just bad news, then you're a liar..."

Aha, you see. I couldn't think of much to blog about lately, but whether this turns into a boring blog or not, I'm posting it. I don't want to fall out of the loop of posting like I've done so many times. I'm trying to be committed to something, even though - in most cases - I'm not much committed to anything. I have to really love the person/hobby/thing/band/etc. to stay committed to it.

AND THIS, my friends, is why I would make a terrible mother.

But, anyways, me and Flash are doing another art trade (The last one was me drawing her characters Adam and Froze together while she drew my characters Mercedes and Gore together); me drawing her character Lamb (See Flash's picture of Lamb HERE) and she drawing my character Sinclair. And so, I worked extremely hard and even had to color the faily thing, but its finished, after quite a number of hours working on it.

SHAZAM. I probably messed up more than a few things, but at least I worked hard on this one. As well, part of it is blurry because my scanner was being faily and ever though I re-scanned it, it looked even worse, so I just went with this version. I'm not sure how to crop it, either, so that might pose a problem. Ah, well. ;c I still think it's pretty okay.

Listening To: This Too Shall Pass by OK Go

"...You know you can't keep lettin' it get you down
And you can't keep draggin' that dead weight around
If there ain't all that much to lug around
Better run like hell when you hit the ground
When the morning comes
When the morning comes..."

Well, did I mention that watered-down Diet Coke is possibly the worst-tasting drink ever? Yes, I took a sip of it and then I forgot that I had left it out earlier and now my mouth tastes like I just puked sparkles. Which, is actually, not such a good taste as you would imagine.

I'm also thinking of doing a meme where you pick - five, I think? - of other peoples' original characters off of DeviantArt. Of course, I saw this meme on DeviantArt. I don't have an account, and if I did I would probably be laughed off because of the quality of my art and my inability to apparently size and crop photos. Still, I think it's okay for me to do the quiz, and if I do it hopefully Flash will, too.

I'd also like to take a moment here to thank my new Followers here on my blog and if anyone who Follows me on Twitter reads my blog as well, thanks. I'm pretty sure I love you guys. Now, come here so we can have an incredibly awkward hug.

I need to be working on a lot of things right now. Like, that rad art project I said I was going to start? No. Quite frankly, it still hasn't happened. I haven't even done a vague outline or rough sketch of it. It's like I'm terrified to even start such a huge work of art. Still, I promised myself I was going to do it, and I will, eventually. For now, I'll just doodle in my sketchbook and make up new characters (Julius Manry and Alice *insert last name here*). So, yes. I should be doing something else right now.

It seems I'm always supposed to be doing something else.

'Cause there's a hole in the fabric of my sanity and it's getting big enough to see through.

2010-04-24T09:16:00.000-07:00

Listening To: I Think I'm Going To See You by Showbread
Feeling: A collective feeling of "ugh."

"...Because the more the world puts in my mouth
The less I feel like chewing it
I found the way to madness and I'm opening the door
Cause the more they say what's on my mind
The more I feel I'm losing it
They tell me what to care about and I don't care anymore..."

Crap. Today is pretty high on the Suck-O-Meter. As in, Sucks-A-Lot. My stomach is hurting like crazy for absolutely no reason at all, and last night my legs and stomach were hurting. Is it just me or am I getting a lot of aches and pains lately? This just cannot be good for my health. xD Grawr, I don't even feel like eating anything for lunch at all. :/ Maybe I'll just have dinner or something because my goodness does this hurt like you wouldn't believe.

Thus, the only thing that's making this day awesome is the Internet and Flash. Flash makes all days awesome, though, so really, that's nothing new. I'm also watching a semi-good Ouran abridged thing on YouTube. What with the clever "Even before I was born I was the most beautiful and charming of embryos" and "Ouch, right in the teacups!" lines, this is the thing keeping me watching it. Still, under no circumstances is it as well done as Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged. Not that I'm dissing it. Or the person who made it. I really don't use this blog to diss a lot.

Except that mini-rant I think I had one time where I was talking about how much I detest adults who try to act like they're sixteen again when they're obviously not. Honestly, I dislike these people with every fiber of my being. I just hope that I never turn into one of them. because once you're old, you're old. You aren't sixteen anymore, sweetie.

Argh. I'm getting my hair done soon, which is good, because my roots are so clearly noticeable that when you turn to look at me they literally slap you in your face before you can say anything. At least, this is how I see it. Still holding on and not getting it cut, though, so I'll end up having a semi-long mane by sometime in the summer. I haven't had long hair since I was a wee tot and something happened and we had to chop it all off. I was very upset that day, but then I liked shorter hair more. And it seems to me that a snapton of people have longer hair rather than shorter hair, which makes me feel like I'm jumping onto some sort of bandwagon.

Which, I'm not. I just finally am taking the recommendations of everyone who sees my picture to grow my freaking hair out. This is not peer pressure, folks. I'm just thinking I would look better...but, now, I think I've talked more about my hair in this post than I ever have in any blogpost ever, so I think I'll just stop now.

Listening To: Insurance? by The Higher

"...Let's burn this filthy town straight into the ground
With our dirty looks and glances
Come on, can you hear us now?
As we rock you, shock you, drop you
And make you want it more
And we're gonna risk it all for the weekend..."

I'm also taking up exercising. Nothing like spots, but just some Wii Fit and crazy dancing to a crazy playlist, which, it's actually quite miraculous how many calories you can burn in just an hour of flopping around like a fish with your iPod on your hip. I guess I'm trying to get all active and healthy-ish and stuff, even though I really don't need to. Still, exercise will keep me thin.

But what I say to real sports is what Miles "Pudge" Halter in Looking For Alaska says:

"I hated sports. I hated sports, and I hated the people who played them, and I hated people who watched them, and I hated the people who didn't hate people who watched or played them."

Yeah...

I guess I won't be doing much today except some RP'ing with Flash and maybe Kira if she gets on, but other than that, I'll probably just stalk Twitter a little bit and cruise the blogs to find some more to Follow, and look through the ones I'm already Following to see if I still want to Follow them. Speaking of blogs that I Follow, Flash should definitely post a blog. ;D And whether she does or not, you should check out her blog because she's awesome.

See, look? I'm trying to sell her like a ShamWOW! again.

Imprisoned inside this mind, hiding behind the empty smiles.

2010-04-23T14:39:00.000-07:00

Listening To: The Arms Of Sorrow by Killswitch Engage
Feeling: A little hungry.

"...Imprisoned, inside this mind
Hiding behind the empty smiles
So simple (the anguish)
As it mocks me
Crawling back into the dark
Running, always running, into the distance
Stop me before I bleed, again
The echoes of my voice
Follow me down
The shadows I cast
Follow me down..."

I'm definitely loving Twitter. I may be posting too much, but meh; I'm new, so I guess that gives me a free pass, perhaps? I just didn't want anyone to think I was going to stop blogging all of a sudden because I have a lazier, quicker, and shorter way to do it, while being instantly updated on all of the people I Follow. I tend to talk too much, rather descriptively so, and that's why I must blog. I think these are the traits of a writer.

Speaking of writing.

Last night, I started writing something revolving around Mercedes Montgomery (The character; not me and my Twitter name). I sort of always wanted to revolve a book around her because she has such an interesting character to me, and though I'm pretty sure this'll turn into a short story rather than a book, I'm still pretty excited to at least be writing something. Everytime I sit down to write, it doesn't have to be a novel. I think my mindset has been stuck in this mode where I mustmustmust write a novel; no short stories, songs, poems. And that's my downfall.

So, if this turns out to be a short story, so be it. Let's just hope it'll be well-written and awesome to look back on a year from now when hopefully my writing has improved, sort of like my doodles drastically improved in just a year. Improving so much that it really didn't look like I ever had artistic talent and then SHAZAM, I apparently do.

Or so people tell me.

Listening To: Basement Ghost Singing by Armor For Sleep

"...Now I'm in your basement
I'm laying low to keep out of your way
I hear your footsteps
Move the floorboards above my head
I have my own routine now
I'm keeping busy in my own way
I'm learning ways to not feel
Like I'm down here forever..."

In other, much more random news, I switched from the my green Nano I got for Christmas back to my way-old original iPod. Yes, that thing still works, and has a vaguely okay battery life. I just have way too many songs that aren't fitting on that Nano and it's tiny little 8GB it's trying to tote. Yeah, it had a video camera. And a radio. Both of which I really didn't use either of. I gave it to mom, though she doesn't listen to music a ton, I think she'll enjoy it.

In a couple weeks I might be sending it in to get it replaced for $50 or whatever it costs, but at Christmas it's already been established I'm getting the newest original iPod, which can contain up to 40,000 songs or whatever. This, of course, will mean that I will be in heaven. I don't know if I'd ever be able to fill it up in my whole lifetime, but you can bet your buns that I'm going to try.

Also, I stopped re-reading Just Listen a long time ago, for some reason. I really, really love that book, I just felt like re-reading a different one. Thus, today, I have started re-reading John Green's Looking For Alaska for...the third of fourth time. The last time I re-read it being last month.

Yeeaaahhh, I like his books, okay?

I also am going to start work on a little art "project." You see, I have this huge sketchpad. I may've blogged about it, but it's more likely that I just told Flash and forgot to blog about it. Either way, this thing is twice the size of a laptop's screen. At least, I would say so. This thing is glorious, and even though I mostly use it for just being able to do a ton of doodles on one page, I'm going to take all of my OCs that I commonly use and draw them all together on this huge-bum page. I'm not sure why I want to do this, but I feel like it should be done.

I'll probably take my time on this, so I can't say when it'll actually be done, or when I'm going to start (But it'll be soon. Either tomorrow or today, I'd say), but I might even post WIPs. And you know it's serious business when that happens, because I tend not to show my art to many people.

So, look forward to that, guys.

So, I guess I'm off to mess around online a little and then go read some Ouran manga (Yes, yes, I've only read a few volumes. I know. I don't look like a true fan, do I? Even though I own all the Ouran episodes in a DVD set that I bought from Disc Replay that looks like it came straight from Japan, and, thus, only has Japanese audio and Japanese audio with jacked-up subtitles).

You would not believe your eyes if ten million Asian guys sneaked in your room as you fell asleep.

2010-04-22T17:22:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Asian Guys (Parody of Fireflies) by NHBFilms
Feeling: Happy, yo.

"...You would not believe your eyes
If 10 million asian guys
Sneaked in your room as you fell asleep
With wide eyes and gelled up hair
And video games everywhere..."

I love this song. xD It makes me laugh every single time I listen to it. But in a good way; I love the Asian culture, so I'm obviously not making fun of them, and the guys who made the parody are Asain, too.

So no hatin'.

But the point of this post is that I finally got a Twitter.

Yes.

http://twitter.com/TheMercedesM

Follow me, dears? It would make a very happy Merce.

I've been thinking about fixing my brain, but I'm afraid I won't feel the same.

2010-04-21T12:11:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Fixing My Brain by Brad Sucks
Feeling: Stomach pain. xD

"...Spending more and more time up in bed
Thinking 'bout the things I think you said
It's been on my mind and it’s hard to find
Bad habits come and come and go
I'm afraid my mind is getting slow
I swear it’s not so hard to understand..."

Okay, first, the reason I haven't been posting is because I was waiting for something semi-worth talking about, and I guess I finally have it. So, sorry if any of you were waiting (Though I'm pretty sure that if anyone was waiting, it was Flash).

Now, if you don't go check out the band Brad Sucks, I'm going to have to punch you. Not in just the jeans, either. In the blouse. In the wig. In the Converse. Whatever; I'm going to punch you.

Someone may ask how I discovered such a lovely band, and that is because I was watching 51 Things I Found In My Room videos (Yes, I'm still watching those. I'm addicted to that. I did it once myself a LONG time ago, but most of the stuff I showed was fail. Too much Twilight and way too much Jonas Brothers, and even though I still love Twilight, I looked like a tween dumb-bum), and someone had the song "Borderline" as their background song, so I checked it out.

Listening To: Time To Take Out the Trash by Brad Sucks

"...Down in the mouth and having trouble remembering
Hold my heart out loud and turn it up until your earrings bleed
Time to take out the trash, you know it's easy
But it seems harder every time you try to think about it
Time to take out the trash, you know it's easy..."

Let's see, what else? Oh, I recently visited my great aunt on my dad's side, whom I LOVELOVELOVE. ♥ She is totally the best great aunt EVAR. We're closer than anyone one else on dad's side of the family besides dad himself. xD But anyway, aside from all her awesomeness, when I went to visit her with dad he brought up the fact that I am a doodling monster and she wanted to see my sketches, but my sketchbook had nothing worthwhile at ALL in it. :c So lately, I've been sketching in that. ♥ Next time I see her I can't wait to show her some of my stuff, even though I usually get embarrassed when showing it to anyone other than a)my parents or b)my close friends.

Speaking of the doodles, I think I'm getting better. At least, that's what Flash said; about my faces, at least. o3o I'm drawing a lot of random guys lately, too, and they're all so adorable. But I doubt any of them will be made into real characters...still, speaking of real characters, I'm trying to develop Chinatsu/Hardcore's personality, as well as Jackie, Miles, and Riot. The whole band. It's coming along pretty slow, but still pretty good/okay.

Chinatsu has a boyfriend now, too. Haruki. x3 I like how he's "spring wood" and she's "a thousand summers." I think they're both pretty bright and happy, so.

Dude, I talk about my original characters way more than I actually talk about myself. There's probably something wrong with that, albeit less narcissistic.

Speaking of, Mercedes Montgomery actually is getting a Bio tweak. I decided that she did not turn alternative because of breaking up with Dawson (Because that just seems really, really lame, and not like her), but because she got in a car accident, and it ended up messing up her back so bad she's lucky she can stand up straight. And she deals with all this pain even now, and the painkillers her doctor perscribed her don't work so well.

And right after the accident I guess she had a little depression because of the pain. I assume something like that would make you upset, indeed, and I guess in this depression she drastically changed her appearence and ended up liking it. And that's how all of that happened.

And how his guts were all suspended in his fingers.

2010-04-14T10:49:00.000-07:00

Listening To: July, July! by the Decemberists
Feeling: Sick & Tired.

"...And the water rolls down the drain
The blood rolls down the drain
Oh, what a lonely thing
In a blood red drain..."

I am feeling very sick and tired today. I don't know why, since I slept so many hours last night and got up late this morning. ;C But my muscles are all weak and my eyes are dry and sore despite my glorious eye drops. My throat was sore yesterday, too, but it's not so much anymore; it still does and it's dry, but not as bad? o3o I'm not sure how to describe it, but I really want an ice cream sandwich right now.

Trying to brainstorm with Flash to RP something that doesn't immediantly fizzle out. Our theory is that if it's fantasy we could just throw a flying rainbow llama in and make things interesting and use a snapton of characters. This way, everything should be kept interesting FOREVER.

F
O
R
E
V
E
R.

I have nothing much to post today except I think I'm going to work on the OC page here and then go fall asleep somewhere, probably. Whichever comes first. I just can't believe today's post was so short...I almost always have something to talk about, even if nobody cares. Maybe it's becoming boring for you guys because I'm posting blogs so often?

You got some kind of nerve taking all I want.

2010-04-13T10:08:00.000-07:00

Listening To: You Found Me by the Fray
Feeling: Sleepy.

"...I found God on the corner of 1st and Amistad
Where the West was all but won
All alone, smoking his last cigarette
I said, "Where you been?", He said, "Ask anything"
Where were you, when everything was falling apart?
All my days were spent by the telephone that never rang
And all I needed was a call that never came
To the corner of 1st and Amistad..."

Though I don't imagine that God smokes cigarettes, I love this song a lot. To me, it's all about feeling that God wasn't there when you needed him, and finding you when you've already broke inside. I know it must be hard to believe sometimes because of the hardships everyone goes through; and I know someone might skip this post just because I'm talking about religion a little, but it's only this paragraph, guys. There've been times when I've asked, "Why?" in my life and "Where were you?" but I've never stopped believing, even though it's been hard at certain times. I think it takes a lot more to believe than it does not to.

On a much less serious note (Or perhaps serious in a different manner), you may've noticed I changed the name of my blog. This is because I want to go for a more serious impression; I was thinking of doing a completely new blog, and am still thinking about it (Though probably not going to do it); but more likely I'm going to delete all the silly/stupid posts. That doesn't mean there will only be serious posts; I just mean the super immature ones. I'm also thinking about making a secondary blog. For what, I'm not quite sure yet. xD I was thinking one for talking about my writing, but writing is such a big thing in my life that it belongs here on A Little More Than Nothing.

Speaking of the name change, do you like it?

Listening To: Rust by Telekinesis

"...I've got a heart but it's afraid to love
Sometimes i think the d*mn thing's full of rust
And every time it seems to skip a beat
Or two or four or five or sometimes three
It pumps something that i cannot call blood
And why'd it have to stop when you said love
'Cause don't you know that at the thought of it
The sucker goes ahead and calls it quits..."

Another opinion I'd like is if you want me to keep posting a snippage of lyrics from what I'm listening to, or just the lyrics in the title (Either way, I'm at least keeping the lyrics in the title, because I think it fits most of the time. Oh, and if my smilies (example, xD) annoy you.

So, as for my writing, I don't know if the Mafia thing is fit to be a book. I've probably said this before and you all are getting whiplash from how often I jump back and forth. xD But I was actually thinking of maybe making it into a short story. Or just writing a collection of short stories in general? I'm not sure. Flash was talking about doing a series of short stories set in the land of her Realm Gods, which sounds like a good idea to me. I'd probably just end up doing a series of shorts about Mercedes Montgomery and her daily life, which I would say most people probably wouldn't want to read. xD But I would like to write a book with her as the main character. She could keep it witty.

Aaannd one of the reasons the Mafia is either a)undergoing a serious plot editing or b)not being made into a book, is because I want to take Ric and Vic out of it. :c I just can't see Ric as a wolf. I see him as a normal, straight guy with a very gay appearance, just like I've always imagined him since I actually developed his Gary Stu character and turned him normal. Though I can see Vic being in a mafia and being a master gunsmen, he can do that without being in a magical realm.

So, yeah. So much for being out of writer's block properly. Well, at least I'm getting there. I'll probably scrape the remaining pieces of the Mafia plot and do something with it...eventually.

Listening To: I'm Not Good by Julia Nunes

"...And as I’ve well established
I am scared of the unknown
So we’ll take it slow, and I’ll let you know
I think we’ll be fine with a little time
I’m getting better at saying things
But it’s still so new
And I may blurt out words that are so unheard of
But I’ll hope that you like me too..."

Also, I'm trying to make a new character. I don't have her name or anything, but I have her hairstyle (I was cruising the 'Net - wow, that is such a white gangsta way to say "looking around on the Internet - and found a picture of a hairstyle that was amazing. I might actually try to style my hair that way one time, but I'll probably epically fail at it, like I do at life) down, and she probably has her knuckles pierced (Can't remember if there was an official name for it) and a vertical labret piercing like on the front of the Dying Is Your Latest Fashion album. I'm not sure what else she has, but I'll have to bug Flash for name ideas.

Oh, I'll be doing little short list intro/shortshortshort bios on the Original Characters (OCs) page, and I might be doing a very narcissistic About Me page for newcomers to the blog or something.

It's like we're chasing all those stars.

2010-04-12T10:22:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Secrets by OneRepublic
Feeling: Tired

"...Tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away..."

So, I'm incredibly tired right now, and I'm not even sure why. I slept like a baby last night; the night before, no, definitely not, but it usually only takes me one night to recharge. BUT not only am I tired, I am cold, which is a bad combination. If I grab a quilt and get warm, then I'll probably fall asleep. Warm = sleep.

This I know.

My parents recently got me a t-shirt that is pink with navy stitching and stuff, and it says "Save me," and has musical notes. I'm trying to figure out if it's a lyric from a song or if it's trying to say something like "Save me, music, because you're the only thing that's keeping me sane," or something.

I'd rather believe the latter, because music keeps me sane. C: I'm always listening to it, especially when I'm blogging. It really helps me open up and talk to you guys, even though I haven't really talked about anything really deep since that series of blogposts where I was talking about my friends - or, rather, I should say, lack thereof - and about life and growing up and crap. I'm not sure if I failed at being serious or if it came through right or what.

Listening To: Missing Persons 1 & 2 by OneRepublic

"...Everybody's staring straight at me
You spend it all chasing those lies
I dont really wanna take that chance
I dont really wanna do that dance
I dont know what to do till you say
Oh I dont wanna let you go
But I cant keep holding on
Skies of silver, stars of gold
And now you know just what you like
So far this love is all I have
So far this hurt is all I have..."

I've also realized something: I haven't had a "crush," in a very, very long time. Used to be, this would be a cause for freaking out and rushing to find someone to like. I'm thinking that the fact that I don't need to like or lust after someone is some sort of sign that I'm "growing up," *airquotes* or something. Which makes me sound like I'm thirteen or something (Though I'm not. Dude, thirteen was a horrible year for me). xD

Of course, I still drool after quite a few famous musical manchests, but I don't have some sort of crazy unnatural obsession like I did with the Jonas Brothers (Glad to be out of THAT phase) where I practically cried when I found out Joe Jonas got a girlfriend and was crossing my fingers for months that they would break up. Now THAT is unnatural.

Thanks for breaking out of that phase, self. *pats shoulder* So proud.

An empty barren carcass armed with a mind.

2010-04-10T17:46:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Waves of Oppression by Mychildren Mybride
Feeling: Same as the last two posts (Man, a lot of blogposting today, amirite?)

"...An empty barren carcass
Armed with a mind
With ambition for victory, I confide
To encourage, invoking all that's inside
I prevail over every wicked bitter thing you've said
We, we prevail, mere champions among men
Finally I can breathe, I can breathe again
My lungs no longer filled with disbelief..."

1) Choose one of your own characters (OC).
2) Make them answer the following questions.
3) Then tag three people.
4) Feel free to add some questions of your own.

I'm going to do three. D Three new OCs, bebbeh. GUESS WHO, LOVEBUKKIT?

1) What gender are you?
Sinclair: Am I really that ambiguous with my gender? D8 I'm a male.
Mercedes: *snicker* If anyone's ambiguous around here, it's Ric. I'm female.
Gore: I'ma boy. Oh, hello baby, you're looking really FUH-YINE today. s
Mercedes: Can somebody fetch me a baseball bat?

2) What is your age?
Sinclair: Well, apparently, Merce hasn't solidly decided upon this, but she thinking around one-thousand years old, because supposedly Crow and I had some sort of romantic conncetion at one time and it's just all very confusing.

Mercedes: Dipsnap created me as nineteen originally, but apparently I'm 21 now.

Gore: *pelvic thrust* I'm 300 years old. ;D
3) Do you want a hug?
Sinclair: Oh, err, sure. Why not? *carefully extends arms*
Mercedes: Hug me and this cigar meets with your face.
Gore: Depends. :D If the host of this is a girl, then you bet your buns I want a hug.

4) Do you have any bad habits?
Sinclair: I think I have a habit of being too polite at times. Someone told me once I walk a thin line between adorable and annoying.
Mercedes: People say my mouth is a bad habit and that I should keep it shut. *grin*
Gore: Ohohoho, bby, I-
Mercedes: DON'T EVEN, DAWSON.
Gore: D8 I thought we agreed you weren't going to call me that wretched human name anymore.
Mercedes: I lied. Oh, that might be a bad habit.

5) What is your favorite food?
Sinclair: Ever since I became genetically compromised, I can't have food. I have injections of nutrients on the first day of every month.
Mercedes: Asian food, I guess
Gore: Blood, of course, my lovely. D I r a vampire.

6) What is your favorite ice-cream flavor?
Sinclair: D8 Like I said, the nutrient injections...

Mercedes: *still wondering why she's here* Err, I have two, I suppose. Cookie dough ice cream and wasabi ice cream.
Gore: Oh my, so hardcore.
Mercedes: If that's what you want to call it.
Gore: I can't eat any food, so this question has nothing to do with me x3.

7) Are you a virgin?
Sinclair: I don't like personal questions like this. .___.
Mercedes: Seriously. Isn't that personal? get out of here before I break your wrist.
Gore: Oh, my, so tough!

8) Have you killed anyone?
Sinclair: Well, yes. .___. The Crows sort of require this.
Mercedes: Nope.
Gore: Well, yeah...

9) Do you hate anyone?
Sinclair: Oh, my, well, it isn't very gentlemenly to "hate" is it? But I probably do have a few.
Mercedes: The world, excluding a few people. Like, Froze. Froze is okay.
Gore: Am I one of the people that's excluded?
Mercedes: No.
Gore: D'aww D8 Well, I hate every girl that's turned me down. WHICH ISN'T THAT MANY-
Mercedes: STFU, you liar.

10) Do you have any secrets?
Sinclair: I have quite a few.
Mercedes: Who doesn't?
Gore: Yeah, probably.

11) What is your favorite season?
Sinclair: Well, it's difficult to describe, you see, our land's seasons isn't the same as the human world's, but I quite like autumn in the human world.
Mercedes: Summer.
Gore: Summer. 8D All the beautiful, bare girl flesh revealed to me~

12) Who is your best friend(s)?
Sinclair: I don't think I have a best friend, but Apathy and I are pretty close.
Mercedes: *blank stare* If I had to pick, probably Froze. Everyone else is ex-boyfriends or people I hate.
Gore: Grawr, Morbid, because she's so easy to get along with.

13) What are your hobbies?
Sinclair: Ah, harp music. You see, there's a whole story behind that...
Mercedes: I dunno. Reading, learning about Japan, listening to music. I don't know if writing can be considered a hobby since it's a job now.
Gore: Err, I dunno. I guess playing video games. Besides romancing women, I mean.

14) What is your favorite drink?
Sinclair: I can't drink anything either. It's very boring.
Mercedes: *raises an eyebrow*
Gore: Blood I suppose. I can't nom or sip anything else.

15) When is your birthday?
Sinclair: I can't remember anymore, but I'm sure Merz will come up with it soon.
Mercedes: February 1st.
Gore: I forget, too, lawl, Merz shouldn't you know? You've had me for months.

16) What age did you die?
Sinclair: Twenty-five. The poisons killed me and brought me back to life.
Mercedes: Haven't gotten myself killed just yet.
Gore: Twenty. c: I was in college and some P.O.'d she-vamp nommed on my neck. Man, she was hot.
Mercedes: Dawson, do you ever think about anything else?
Gore: Nope, not at all.
Mercedes: Thought so.

17) Are you nice or mean?
Sinclair: I'm nice! I think...
Mercedes: Mean as a snake. D
Gore: Ohohoho, depends on which gender you are~

18) Are you social or shy?
Sinclair: I mostly stay withing my group of the Crows, and I'm quiet. I would say in-between.
Mercedes: I'm not shy, but I hate connecting with others. Now, if you wanna see someone shy, you should see Merz try to interact with soceity. It's hilarious.
Gore: Social.~~~

19) What do you think of your parents?
Sinclair: I loved my parents. They were very kind.
Mercedes: Love 'em, even though they aren't so crazy about my style.
Gore: I guess they're okay. They raised me and whatnot.

20) What’s your weakness?
Sinclair: My kindness. It's taken advantage of a lot where I live. :c
Mercedes: Aw, Sinclair has a sad face. Jeez, I have to admit, you are adorable.
Sinclair: :'D Thank you.
Gore: Enough mush over there, or you're going to end up her next boyfriend.
Mercedes: You never know.
Gore: Anyway, my weakness is probably my love for women. I can't say I haven't been swindled by one or two.
Mercedes: Mine could be the fact that I usually don't give anyone a chance.

21) How long can you stay under water?
Sinclair: As long as I want. D
Mercedes: I can't remember. I tried one time.
Gore: As long as I wanted to. I am a scary undead being and whatnot.

22) What do you do on a regular day basis?
Sinclair: Be gosh-darn adorable ;D
Mercedes: Work it, soul sister.
Gore: Hey, soul sister, hey that mister, mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair you know~
Mercedes: I write.
Gore: Makeout with some chick.

23) Do you love someone?
Sinclair: I don't, unless you mean like family. Then I probably love Amity and Apathy; they're like my little sisters*
Mercedes: Hey, I could always be your love.
Sinclair: How about it?
Gore: Get off each other, you two, you're practically different species. :C And no, I don't.
Mercedes: As for me? Eh. I do.
Gore: HOMG, is it me? :'D
Mercedes: I will cut a-

24) When was the last time you wet yourself.
Sinclair: I haven't ever. It sounds horrible.
Mercedes: *bursts out laughing* These are the stupidest questions I've ever heard! Well, probably when I was a baby.
Gore: How should I know? I'm 300 years old. When I was a kid, if ever.

25) What's your favorite band?
Sinclair: I really like Incubus.
Mercedes: Eh...I don't know. Probably some emo band like Breaking Benjamin or Showbread.
Gore: Metro Station. D Those are some sick beats.
Mercedes: Who even says 'sick beats' anymore?
Gore: Apparently, I do D8<>SWANG~

43) If you were a superhero, you'll be...?
Sinclair: *flails adorably* I'm not sure. D8 What's a well-liked one?
Mercedes: Catwoman, but she wasn't quite a Superhero, was she? C;
Gore: I 'unno. Edward Cullen? xDDD
Mercedes: *bursts out laughing*

44) Favorite movie?
Sinclair: I'd rather read.
Mercedes: Same. But it's probably some horror movie if I had to pick.
Gore: Err...Twilight. Or New Moon. homg, Team Edward. D8

45) What is your current occupation?
Sinclair: I'm a Crow.
Mercedes: Novelist. And I work as a freelance writer, and at Hot Topic sometimes.
Gore: Erp. I'm rich. D; Most vampires are, raight?

46) If you can choose what will it be? An close friend or trusting someone that you know but never seen him?
Sinclair: First.
Mercedes: First.
Gore: Whichever has bigger bewbs. ;D

47) There is a new song in the radio and you listen to it what will you do?
Sinclair: Oh my, it's 'Hey, Soul Sister.'
Mercedes: That's a good song. Turn it up.
Gore: I was singing that earlier!
Sinclair, Mercedes, and Gore: Watching you is the only drug I need, I'm so gangsta, I'm so thug, you're the only one I'm dreaming of~

48) If you use a weapon what is it?
Sinclair: The poisons my body contains.
Mercedes: Words and my hands.
Gore: My fangs. x3

49) Water, Fire, Wind, Earth. Which one you like?
Sinclair: Air.
Mercedes: Fire.
Gore: Water?

50) If you have a wish what will it be?
Sinclair: To be normal again instead of the horrible wretch that I am. 8(
Mercedes: Well, I'm already a novelist.
Gore: Admit it, you want me back. ;D If I had a wish, maybe get Merce back? She was a good girlfriend.
Mercedes: Pssht, yeah right. Liar.
Gore: That's right. x3 I could have any girl I need, I don't need your punky bum.
*censored for extreme beating over the head with a bat*

51) Who is your worst enemy?
Sinclair: The Mafia.
Mercedes: Myself.
Gore: D8 I dunno. The raging vampire killers?

52) Do you enjoy your life?
Sinclair: Somewhat.
Mercedes: Sorta.
Gore: YEAH I DO.

53) Your ideal moment with someone you love?
Sinclair: I don't have a romantic interest. :c
Mercedes: I don't have one, either, besides random hot guys on the street.
Gore: Well, I would take them out, and then when it got to the kissing part, I would *censored for young ears*

60) (how did it go from 53 to 60) do you think your attractive?
Sinclair: Well, duh.
Mercedes: As previously stated, he's cute.
Gore: Of course I am! Everybody wants a piece of THIS. *pelvic dance*
Mercedes: *inches away, dumping hot coffee on Gore's crotch* I guess it's up to everyone else to decide if I am.
Gore: *censored for innapropriate langauge*

61) do you think I AM attractive?
Sinclair: I'm sure you get lots of offers.
Mercedes: No, man, you're ugly.
Gore: Depends if you're female. If so, then probably, yeah. ;D Meet

62) do you consider yourself a MASOCHIST?
Sinclair: No. D8 I don't like pain.
Mercedes: I guess that depends. Getting piercings and tattoos is fun.
Gore: No. 8( Pain does not make a happy Gore.

63)What was the first thing you remembered after you was re-awakened?
Sinclair: o3o It was such a long time ago, but definitely Crow's face. *shudder*
Mercedes: From what, my alarm clock this morning?
Gore: Err, the she-vampire's bewbs? ;3

64) What would you want to do if you break the bonds with Ori Magicus?
Sinclair: ...
Mercedes: ...
Gore: No comment.
Mercedes: By saying "no comment," you're actually commenting.
Gore: STFU D8
Mercedes: Never.

65) Could you describe what kind of feelings you have for the boy whom sat you finally free of the curse that made you get reincarnated every five year?
Sinclair: o3o
Mercedes: :V
Gore: :P

66) What do you consider to be your most precious moment in your life?
Sinclair: I-I don't know if I have a most precious moment. It would probably be back in my human life, though.
Mercedes: When my novel got published.
Gore: When girls stopped being icky.

68 (Where's 67? xD) do you like TWILIGHT?
Sinclair: Ah, no, it's a bit...for the young crowd. Like Justin Beiber.
Mercedes: xD Haha. No.
Merz: She totally has the books under her bed with all those trashy romance novels. IT'S HER GUILTY PLEAS-
Mercedes: OH, LOOK, THERE'S A CROWD OF PEOPLE!
Merz: WHUT? *faints*
Gore: WELL OF COURSE DUH TEAM EDWURD

69) WHAT BOUT THE JONAS BROTHURS???
Sinclair: No, no, I don't.
Mercedes: Eww, of course not. :c
Gore: They're faily.

I think that you're funny and I think that you're smart.

2010-04-10T15:25:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Pen To Paper by Julia Nunes

Feeling: Stomach pain AND back pain, darnit.

"...And I've tried hard

To prove that I am strong

But you know

And I know

That I've been wrong

And we talked for a while with our opposite styles

And I thought it might work if only for a while

Together we make such uncomfortable sounds

You open your mouth and I'm laughing so loud

See I can talk forever

Except when it counts..."

OBSESSIONS, YO. MIEN.

JUSTIN BEIBER LIEK OMAIGAWRSH!!!one1oneONE!!!

I KID, I KID. I can't stand the little gnome. Now, for the real obsessions.

FLASH. I stalk her through the computer just like she stalks me. ;D BEST FRANDS FOREVER. ♥

L LAWLIET. He's my favorite anime guy EVAR; I love him to death. <3>

These gosh-darn rubber bracelets every alternative person you see has on. xD I bought some a long time ago and now it's like everytime I go out I find myself wearing them (I have three sets. Mixed, all black, and neon, which I sometimes wear all at the same time or mix them up and whatnot).

AKA, Flash's drawings. Teh girl and boy together are my charries Mercedes and Gore, whom she drew for me because we did an art trade. ♥ Seriously, I love her art to bits. o3o

Doodling. D Doodle and Jackie Montgomery belong to me.

SHOWBREAD. <3>

Passion Pit. D8 OMGWTF I've known about them forever, but then got bored one day and started listening to some of their other songs. Turns out, they're the epicest thing EVAR. Or, one of them.

Telekinesis!, which is also someone I've known about forever but hadn't checked out until recently. D They pwn you and your house (TELL ME; WHO'S IN DA HOUSE?) and your dog.

Srsly, I love Japan with all my little heart. ♥ AND I ALWAYS SHALL! *glares at the haters* xD

Nearly anything emo/alt/scene/punk/hipster/goth/etc. D I post a boy here because I find him attractive.

Not Taylor Lautner (I love the guy and all, and probably have an obsession with him but I'm just posting a few of my obsessions, yo), but MANCHEST IN GENERAL. 8D

The nothing is in love with me.

2010-04-10T10:47:00.000-07:00

Listening To: The Dirt (Nervosa version) by Showbread
Feeling: Epic stomach pain.

"...I want to open up my guts
And crawl inside to make a home
And nestle up inside the steaming softness silent and alone
I want to pull apart the things you think that matter
Cause to me nothing is everything just a vacant listless clatter
And I bury myself underneath myself
I will not reach or call for help
I want to do this on my own I want to feel it in my bones
I want to know the ugliness that wraps around me..."

Durrrrrr. So, now I've been working on my story, or at least one part of it, lately. The part of the Bloody Crow Creed (Or BCC, if I'm feeling lazy). I've gotten a few of the members done (Gotta work on the personalities and whatnot, though I have a vague idea for most of them. Very vague), and doodled them. I would post them here but they are so fail (Except the one of Sinclair is pretty, I think. ♥ Him and his eyepatch. I might post that one sometime soon).

And thus, (Not in the order I came up with them xD)

Crow (Leader), female
Amity, female
Leech, male
Chasm, male
Vienna, female
Atrophy, male (Thanks, Showbread, for the name idea D)
Sinclair, male (YOU PRETTY-BOY D8)
Apathy, female
Bogeyman, male (but you can't really tell which one he is D IT'S PART OF HIS ALLURE)

So, indeed. I can't really think of anything to post, for once, which is weird for me.

Listening To: So Selfish, It's Funny by Showbread

"...So tense are these nerves in any instance
Teeth snap and a toe taps the dirt
Cry like a baby and see if then maybe
The others will cherish your hurt
Never you see a cry or plea
consider another or first
Know this is your world
The harsh words you have hurled
Recall you are the one in need worse..."

So, I'm obviously loving that Flash is posting her blogs everyday. :D She never fails to make them interesting, even if she doesn't think she has anything good to say. Whereas, right now, I am failing.

Though, I'm going to try and edit my blog and make it look pretty and seizure-inducing and bright. Flash edited hers and says it was pretty easy, but then again, she is probably the smartest person I've ever met. xD She doesn't act like fourteen, let me tell you. She's just epic in general.

But now I'm getting off topic, grr. Whenever I start talking about Flash I always start saying good things about her like I'm trying to sell one of those faily products on TV like the ShamWOW! or the Snuggie (STFU, I know I have one, but it's WARM. WARM, I tell you!).

IF YOU ACT NOW, WE'LL THROW IN A FREE MERZ! CALL BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE, 1-800-GITAFLASH (warning: this is not a real number).

I am growing my hair out, though, still. I'm debating on whether to get it cut. ;c Everybody's telling me that they like it even better now that it's growing, but I still miss my short locks. I need to post a picture sometime soon, but I'll probably just wait until it supa-long or whatever.

A face that's marked by pallor means you're wasting away, so get a tan and raise your hands and take to feeling okay.

2010-04-08T18:40:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Lost Connection With The Head
Feeling: Rather pale

"...I'm languorously open ended
And the endings no good
I've been told to break the mold and I would if I could
But apathy is easier than caring at all
And the undulating nothingness means having a ball
Incredibly impressive and bereft of concern
Lobotomized and optimized and then I'm ready to burn
And I'm at war within myself and self is winning the fight
Cause feeling like no one at all means feeling alright..."

I'm seriously in love with Showbread. And Passion Pit. I've found a few bands that I love as well; The Almost, Mychildren Mybride, and And Then There Was None. I think I got that last name right. o; I don't have enough time to make a long post, but I'll try to make one soon.

I just got on for about an hour, and at the tail-end of it was like, "Oh. I should post a blogpost."

There's nothing much going on here in this household. I'm just writing on my book; I have 4,500 and some words, and I started on...the 6th of April. I need to get to 6k words today if I want to keep up any sort of schedule, but I probably won't. I just need to write as it comes along.

And I've officially made the title of it Hello, Nightmare. It plays a bigger part in it and the plot is more complicated, with with The Bloody Crow Creed.

Sorry, I can't link to the song, YouTube is being weird. ;c Just look up Showbread, you fools.

Well, that is just not my concern.

2010-04-03T13:30:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Ocean Waves by Flyleaf
Feeling: Blergh. And hungry.

"...Respect her ignorance
Just in case she takes offense
The darkness that's killing her
Well that is just not my concern
How could I have been so blind
To simply let them die
Who am I to spread my fingers
After you have filled my hands
Watching the moments slip through like desert sand
You're not guaranteed tomorrow...."

RAWR.

You see, the Google FriendConnect thing or whatever it is is bothering me. It's because it keeps saying I have a message from Krisi, and if I want to accept the message. So I've clicked yes quite a few times, and still, it keeps saying it'll send it to my email. It never does, and it still says I have a message. So I have no idea what's going on there.

Nothing is going on with the novel. I've just been doing character development for random characters that aren't even in this Hello, Nightmare novel or whatever it's going to be called; I haven't touched it since. I'm very close to trashing it and lurking back into writer's block while drawing something and glancing crazily over my shoulder.

Which is, basically, what I've been doing lately anyway. I swear I at least doodle something every single day. Lately, I've been doodling Flash's characters, too, and not only because her character Adam (Drawing by her, of course) is one of my many fictional boyfriends. Though that is probably part of the reason (He's one of the Realm Gods of hers. Big huge wolves with complicated stuff, you know o; ).

At least I'm getting better at this doodling business. I don't want to ever be an artist or anything, but I guess it would be pretty epic if one day I could design the covers of my future novels. That would probably be very handy as time went on, as I plan to continuously publish novels until I die...once I finally get one published, that is. Still, I'm just a teen, yo. I don't really need to worry about it for awhile. I just need to write and write and write and write, even though that's not what I've been doing lately, as previously stated.

Listening To: Heads Will Roll (A-Trak Remix) by Yeah Yeah Yeahs

"...Off, off with your head
Dance, dance 'till your dead
Heads will roll, heads will roll
Heads will roll on the floor
Looking glass, take the past
Shut your eyes, you realize
Looking glass, take the past
Shut your eyes, you realize..."

If you'd like to see some of my doodles, just click DANCETILLYOURDEAD. Click to enlarge.

Adam is the biggest one going all "Ohaider ~ ♥ " I can't do him justice. *pokes the Mercedes Montgomery on the DANCETILLYOURDEAD link* That's the name I sign all my art with, even though it isn't my real name. xD I may've mentioned this before. But now I'm mentioning it again.

Those are all Flash's characters (And I will now proceed to link to her own drawings of her characters). Froze, Speed, Jackie (The Jackie with the sprig of white hair is hers, the one with red hair is my Jackie; but she drew them both, this was not a collab xD), Scotty (The one with the tattoo), Adam, and Pixie.

PLEASE DON'T KILL ME FOR SHOWING YOUR DOODLES, FLASH.

You know I love them.

Listening To: Let It All Out by Relient K

"...Reach out to me
Make my heart brand new
Every beat will be for you
For you
And I know you know
You touched my life
When you touched my heavy heart and made it light..."

Thank you.

ULTIMATE OC MEME: MERCEDES VERSION

2010-03-27T14:13:00.000-07:00

BASICS

FULL NAME: Mercedes Grace Montgomery
MEANING: When I looked it up (After I named her that), "Mercedes" meant "mercies." xD And is of Spanish origin, though she has neither mercy nor Spanish bloodline. "Grace" means "favor; blessing." And her last name means "Gomeric's Hill" which, Gomeric means, "Power of man." xD I knew none of this until after I named her.
NICKNAME: Merce, Merce M.
MEANING: Just a shortening of her name.
ACTUAL AGE: 21 now. She used to be 19, but now I write about her as 21. xD
RESIDENCE: Prince Apartments in New York, New York. D
AGE APPEARANCE: 21
BIRTHDAY: Feb. 1st
ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Aquarius
SPECIES: Human
GENDER: Female
ALLERGIES: YOU AND THE WORLD
SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Males
OCCUPATION: Freelance writer/works part-time at - inevitably - Hot Topic. Novelist, too. She did some model work in the past and uses that monies, and sometimes does model work for Hot Topic's website.
MARITAL STATUS: Not married. xD
THEME SONG(S): Therapy by All Time Low (Everything in this song is her, exactly, except when he says "Arrogant boy." :C), Animal by Neon Trees (If you didn't get this free song from iTunes the other week, you FAIL.), I Will Not Bow by Breaking Benjamin, Bloodstream by Stateless (If I'm looking at it from the sad breakup point of view type thing, then it is her. Poor girl.), etc.

APPEARANCE

HAIR COLOR: Blonde with a type of brown streaks.
HAIR STYLE AND LENGTH: Emo with the chunk over the eye. Just past her chin.
EYES COLOR: Sky blue.
EYESIGHT: Epic.
HEIGHT: 5'10
WEIGHT: I'm not sure. xD She's incredibly skinny. Would 100 pounds be right?
OUTFIT/CLOTHING STYLE: Emo/punk/alt/scene/goth/whatever she likes. xD
ABNORMALITIES(TAIL): Not that I know of. xDDD
DISTINGUISHING MARKS(SCARS,MOLES): Also not that I know of. Unless you mean tattoos. She has a large almost tribal-like one on her back, a heart on the left side of her neck, and on her left shoulder, one that looks like her skin is cracking. Like a broken plate.
SELF CARE(MAKE UP): Emo, of course. Thick winged eyeliner. Dark/black/dark gray eyeshadow. Red lipstick or sheer gloss. And base and concealer, of course.
FIRST IMPRESSION ON PEOPLE: Probably that's she's scary. xD
SKIN COLOR: White.
BODY TYPE/BUILD: Thin as a rail.
DEFAULT EXPRESSION: P.O'd
POSTURE: Straight as a rod. Her mom jammed that into her brain. xD
MEASUREMENTS(FEMALE ONLY): xD I don't even know. But I'm going to say her bewbs are probably C-cups? xD But she does have a tiny waist.
PIERCINGS: Six in right ear. Five in left ear. Nose stud. Snakebites. Vampire bites in right side of neck. Belly button ring (She got it back in the popular, preppy times xD), hip piercings (TTLY STOLE THAT FROM YEW, BBY)
DESCRIBE THEIR VOICE: It wouldn't be super high or super low. I'm not sure how to describe it, but I know what she sounds like. xD
WEAPON OF CHOICE: Her fists and words.

RELATIONSHIPS

MOM: Tanya Montgomery
HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Sorta well. The mom doesn't approve of her style. xD So it's a little strained.
DAD: Robert Montgomery
HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Excellent. He teases her and smacks her with his cane. D
SIBLINGS: Jackie Montgomery (YES THAT'S RIGHT, FLASH)
HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Sometimes good, sometimes bad. They're both loudmouths.
CHILDREN: None.
HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: NONE, I SED
OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS: None important.
PAST LOVA(S): Well, she's dated strings of guys not worth mentioning, but the one that's most important is Dawson Jenner. Back when she was sorta prep, he was a player and she was a player-ette and she fell in love and he didn't and he broke up and etc.
CURRENT LOVA: I'm going to say...Riot. D But I don't know if they will be a perma-couple.
REACTION TO MEETING SOMEONE NEW: "OMGWTF GET OUTTA MY PERSONAL SPACE, WHICH IS TEN FEET AROUND ME."
ABILITY TO WORK WITH OTHERS: Not so good. Thus, the life of a reclusive writer.
HOW SOCIABLE(LONER,ETC): She's pretty mean so it takes a special person to like her. xD
FRIENDS: Let's see...Paul, Dingo, Jackie (I'm going to say that Merce does backup vocals for Jackie's band sometimes D), Vic, Akihiko, Froze (Flash's OC)...I guess. xD
PETS: Alexandra "Alex" the female pug.
LEAST FAVORITE TYPE OF PERSON: Just about everyone. I mean, like I said, she has a few friends, but still. xD
PARENTAL TYPE(PROTECTIVE,ETC): She would let them run wild because she wouldn't want to deal with them. Her future son would come home at 10 years old with a tattoo and a biker chick girlfriend. xD (If she would have a son)
AFFINITY WITH...: Riot, I guess. xD
FAVORITE PEOPLE: The punks she hangs out with.
LEAST FAVORITE PEOPLE: Everyone else.

PERSONALITY

..WHEN YOU FIRST MEET THEM: Ignoring. Or sarcastic remarks.
..AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY LIKE YOU): "Let's get coffee."
..AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY DISLIKE YOU): "I hate you." She would blatantly say it.
FAVORITE COLOR: Er...I'm going to say red/black/bright colors.
FAVORITE FOOD: Gummy bears, because they pwn. And Japanese bento boxes because she is in love with Japan "just like everyone else." xD
FAVORITE ANIMAL: Probably wolves. D Giant Realm-God wolves.
FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: Guitar. She can play it. D And the ukulele is nice, too. She can play that as well (WHAT ARE YOU, JULIA NUNES? D8)
FAVORITE ELEMENT: Dark matter. D
FAVORITE REMEMBERED MOMENT IN LIFE: Probably when her novel was published. She could've died from epic happy.
LEAST FAVORITE COLOR: WTF I DUNNO. Vomit green? Everyone hates that color.
LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: Probably Indian food.
LEAST FAVORITE ANIMAL: Mosquito? xD
LEAST FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: I don't think she has one.
LEAST FAVORITE ELEMENT: Water?
MOST HATED MOMENT IN LIFE: When Dawson broke up with her D; I don't think she ever quite got over it.
HOBBIES: Learning about Japan, music, writing, failing at life, etc.
USUAL MOOD:
DRINK/SMOKE/DRUGS: She smokes cigars. No drugs, yo, are you crazy? D8< class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_48">xD This is probably her usual self-version. Mean and hateful and blunt.
LIGHT VERSION OF SELF: Calm, bored, quiet. Which is rare.
HOW SERIOUS ARE THEY: Very much so.
CLASS IN AN RPG: Assassin? xD
BELIEVE IN GHOSTS: Yes. She saw one.
(IN)DEPENDANT: Independent.
SOFT SPOT/VULNERABILITY: She probably has a soft spot for Dawson still. If he ever wanted to get back together, though, her pride would get the best of her and she would kick his bum to the curb, which is what she should do.
OPINION ON SWEARING: D8< What do you think?
DAREDEVIL VS CAUTIOUS: Daredevil.
MUSIC TYPE: Just about anything, except country and like, folk-songs I guess? xD
MOVIE TYPE: Lots of blood and gore and flying limbs.
BOOK TYPE: Same as movie, but her guilty pleasure is romance. *whisperwhisper* She probably hides those trashy romance novels under her bed. And she likes fantasy.
GAME TYPE: Same as movie. And probably RPG type things.
COMFORTABLE TEMPERATURE: 70 degrees or hotter.
SLEEPING PATTERN: Insomniac, so she gets sleep whenever she can.
CLEANLINESS/NEATNESS: She's not OCD but her apartment isn't a slum or anything.
DESIRED PET: The one she has.
HOW DO THEY PASS TIME: With her hobbies. xD And making out with Riot. They do that a lot.
BIGGEST SECRET: Probably Dawson. She doesn't want anyone to know she was so dumb. xD
HERO/WHO THEY LOOK UP TO: Probably Edgar Allen Poe. xD And her dad. And some old, dead writer dudes.
WHAT ANIMAL WOULD THEY BE: One of those giant wolves?
FEARS: She fears she'll lose herself. And probably that she won't actually love anyone again.
COMFORTS: Cigars, coffee.
DRUNK TYPE: Probably storyteller. "This one time, I was..."
SPECIAL ABILITIES/MAGICS: She can roll her tongue? xD
HOW DID THEY GET SAID MAGICS: Born with that epicness.
DONE ANYTHING TO GET IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW: No. Surprising, right?
WHICH "7 DEADLY SINS" ARE THEY MOST LIKE: (lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, pride) Wrath.
WHICH "7 VIRTUES" DO THEY HAVE: (chastity, abstinence, liberality, diligence, patience, kindness, humility): Abstinence.

WHAT ROLE WOULD THEY BE IF THEY WERE IN...
ROMANCE MOVIE: The extra in the background
ACTION MOVIE: THE GIRL WITH THE BIG JUGS. I MEAN, GUNS.
CARTOON: The villain. D
HORROR MOVIE: She'd be the hardcore one who would take that killer DOWN. She's watched too many crappy horror movies to fall for the stairs trick.
LABYRINTH: The one stuck in the endless sorrow and suffering. o; There is no way out of her labyrinth. xDDD /endemopost
PRINCESS BRIDE: The one that crashes it for the free food.

HOW DO THEY ACT WHEN THEY ARE...
SAD: Probably doesn't show it, unless someone died. Which, she would probably go away by herself for awhile and actually cry.
HAPPY: This really evil-looking smirk. xD She can't smile properly. She's wired wrong.
ANGRY: Her default mode? xD
AFRAID: Wouldn't show it.
LOVE SOMEONE: Pinching and smacking them around. Shooting them with a BB Gun in the unmentionables area...xD
HATE SOMEONE: Flat-out tell them.
WANT SOMETHING: She'd persevere and get it.
CONFUSED: Blank look on her face.

HOW DO THEY REACT TO...
DANGER: Take charge.
SOMEONE THEY HATE WHO HAS A CRUSH ON THEM: If she has interest, she'll tell them she likes them, but if she doesn't, she'll tell them that they're ugly and she hates them and does not want a romantic relationship. xDDD
PROPOSAL TO MARRY: "OMGWTF NO."
DEATH OF LOVED ONE: See "SAD."
DIFFICULT GAME/MATH/ETC: She'd end up getting a headache. xD But she's pretty darn smart.
INJURY: She would pull up her big girl panties and GET ON WITH LIFE.
SOMETHING IRRESISTIBLY CUTE: Poke it.
LOSS OF HOURS OF WORK: Complain. She needs that monies, yo.

HISTORY

BIOGRAPHY: When she was a kid she was completely normal. Happy, peppy, hyper, and way too blunt. Oh, those kiddies say the darndest things c: So her parents would never know she would grow up to be what she did, except she was really creative when she was young. Always doodling something that was in her mind, and then as soon she learned to write she wrote short stories all the time. Of course, at that point her writing was the dog poop people scraped off of their shoe when they stumbled upon it. But she was just a kid. Slackplz.

In junior high she got really into studying, which was, thus, her nerdy phase. Her looks never changed (Same long blonde hair, big blue eyes, tan skin), but she was studying incredibly hard in everything because she wanted not only to be a writer, but to be somewhat of a genius or child prodigy (Which are not the same thing at all). She did not, turns out, end up exactly a genius - but somewhat of a prodigy. She didn't fast-forward into any grades, though, because she still wanted to be "normal," whatever that was. Her sister Jackie (Who was just two years younger than Merce, and a spitfire from the beginning) was not so enthusiastic about it. She also never got along with Jackie until they were both "adults" because their personalities were so different at this point.

High school - which she finished early, at seventeen. Which, that year, she did nothing but write like crazy and polish her skills, and went to college at eighteen, which she finished early, as well, at twenty. She studied a major in journalism and a minor in Asian studies, and took a crapton of writing classes. Very srsbznz - at sixteen, she met Dawson Jenner, who was a player, and like I said, she was a player-ette. But she actually fell in love for once, but Dawson was still his hobo mean-bum self who didn't love anyone, and he broke up with her and called her clingy. As well as a bunch of names I probably shouldn't mention here. This not only broke Mercedes's preppy little heart, but turned it to stone. It was only about six months later that she jumped right into the alternative style and never looked back.

She's gotten short stories, poems, and articles published, and finally, FINALLY, has a book published. She is officially a novelist. She actually privately did a happy dance for her floor-length mirror. o; She probably would make out with her editor if he wasn't so repulsed by her obvious alternative-ness and mean-spirited pessimistic personality.

I guess there should be more details. xD They're probably bouncing around my head.

FIRST APPEARANCE: In my mind. D Or, in a short story with then-boyfrand Akihiko Watanabe.

KNOWLEDGE

LANGUAGES: English, Japanese, French.
SCHOOLING LEVEL: College? xD
FAVORITE SUBJECT: Creative Writing and/or Grammar
INTERESTED CAREERS: Novelist.
EXPERTISE: Obviously good enough. xD *pokes bio*
PUZZLES: Pretty good. She likes Rubik's Cubes.
CHEMISTRY: Okay.
MATH: She passed just enough in this one. xD She hates math with all her crooked heart.
ENGLISH: Excellent
GEOGRAPHY: Okay.
POLITICS/LAW: Pretty good.
ECONOMY/ACCOUNTING: Epic fail. xD
COOKING: Good enough.
SEWING: Excellent (She has some handmade stuffed animals somewhere...)
MECHANICS: Fail.
BOTANY (FLOWERS): Okay. She has a bonsai tree in her apartment.
MYTHOLOGY: Excellent.
DRAMATICS(ACTING,SINGING): Excellent. (xD)
READING LEVEL: Er, I dunno, college and up? xDD
HOW GOOD ARE THEY AT PLANNING AHEAD: She's no OCD Super Planner, but if she needs to make a plan, she will.
IMPULSIVE/STRATEGY: Half-and-half. It depends on if the situation calls for it.

ROMANCE

DO THEY TAKE INITIATIVE: Oh yus.
HOW DO THEY ACT(SHY,ETC): Bold.
GENTLEMAN/LADYLIKE VS KLUTZY: Ladylike.
GO SLOW VS JUMP INTO: Go slow.
TRUE LOVE VS TESTING DIFF PEOPLE: Testing different people.
PROTECTIVE: Notrly.
ACT LIKE FRIENDS OR LOVERS: Friends in public, lovers in private. ;D
WHAT KIND OF PRESENTS DO THEY BUY: Probably just small things every now and then to show that she doesn't really hate them. xD
TYPE OF KISSER: Gud.;o She does know French, after all ;D xDDDDD
DO THEY WANT KIDS: /keysmash NO.
DO THEY WANT TO MARRY: /moarkeysmash NO. (Well, it would take an incredibly long time and an incredibly special guy for her to actually marry some dude)
MAKE GOOD OR BAD DECISIONS: Good, I'd say.
ARE THEY ROMANTIC: Probably not.
GET JEALOUS EASY: Nope.
WIFE/HUBBY BEATER: Just playfully. Not fer srs.
MARRY FOR MONEY: No.
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN ON THEIR DREAM DATE: Probably at an artsy coffee shop.

...Just please don't ever let me go.

2010-03-27T12:22:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Cuddle Fuddle by Passion Pit
Feeling: Content? xD

"...I filled the bucket
I spilled the bucket
Out on the floor
A mistake for sure
Consequences
Turned me hostile
I got so tied in
Made me docile
Then you applauded
When I was loving
Made me feel weak andI start recovering
Now I feel silly
Selfish and dizzy
Now I got this feeling
That you'll forgive me..."

I'm now linking to a video of the songs I listen to, to make it easier for you guys to go to, and because I want to enlighten you all with my awesome taste in music, as it appears that I adore Passion Pit lately. ;o; Srsbznz, they are freaking awesome, you have no idea. I could listen to their songs for hours. I only have The Reeling and Sleepyhead on my iPod; I need to get some more.

This post doesn't really have a point, because I really can't think of anything to say for once, and I'm always talking. xD Well, I guess I could talk about my novel, which ISN'T BEING UPDATED. A.K.A., if SHE is the Typo Queen, I'm the Procrastination Queen. What's with all my plot tweaking? I think Micah might end up getting to stay alive longer than was originally intended.

xD And now I'm obsessed with Hetalia. My iFriends have dubbed me America - and since I live in America, I wanted to be something different. xD But by watching Hetalia, I probably am, indeed, America. We're both dumb and like milkshakes and cheeseburgers and being the hero. xDDD I guess. SHE is pretty intimidating, so I would say SHE's Russia, even though she doesn't like Russians. xD

Still, though, speaking of HER (Numerous times xD), we've been having incredibly epic times lately. ♥ She's absolutely the best, I swear. She makes me laugh like crazy and come out of my shell and whatnot. People say we're apparently mesmerizing when combined together.

She's the LIGHTNING and I'm the THUNDER; she attracts the attention and I make the noise behind the scenes.

Listening To: Saturate by Breaking Benjamin
"...Do you know that I could never leave you?
And you know I could never beat you?
And if I, if I could never find you, nevermind
I would not forget you
Can I stay alive forever?
Can I stay alive forever?
Can I stay alive forever?..."

I have honestly never met a person so intelligent as she is. We can have the stupidest conversations sometimes, or we could be spouting random facts or talk about something seriously. She's always there and she's always waited for me, even when I was a couple steps behind. She's always there to catch me when I fall.

Thanks. ♥

2010-03-27T12:03:00.000-07:00

What is the single largest item in your house?
I have no idea. Probably a piece of furniture. xD

How well can you write your name with your non dominant hand?
Not that well, I guess. xD I don't try too often.

What color is your bedroom?
Sort of purple-y theme? But hopefully to be repainted soon. I sort of want red with gold accents or these mindblinding bright colors, but I doubt I'll get either. xD

What type of computer mouse do you use?
I use the laptop's mousepad thing. xD Which is not a mouse.

Are you a really fast text messager?
Fo' sure.

Do you have anything you keep on you 24/7?
Er, a Celtic-looking ring.

Do you usually write in print or in cursive?
Print.

What was your first job?
xD Lawn-mowing.

Do you prefer crushed ice or cubed?
Crushed. D8< miiinddcruuush. What print is on your plates or cups in your kitchen? I don't think there is a print on most of them. xD Dad has a wicked-cool skull print on a cup, though. Have you ever made a mixed cd for someone? Nope. Who would I make it for? xD What do you want to buy from an infomercial? SHAM-WOW. 8D I already got a Snuggie at the store. Leopard print, bby. Warm as all get-out, but I am not going out in public wearing one of these.

Do you believe that animals have souls?
Yeah, I do. But that's probably because I have two of them snoring next to me.

What word/phrase do you find really annoying?
"Totes" when someone wants to say "totally." I really want to strangle them.

Do you have a lava lamp or a black light?
Used to have a lava lamp but it broke.

Do you find yourself not having enough electrical outlets?
FER SURE.

What is the longest you can wait patiently?
No. I will bug the crap out of you.

Have you ever been under anesthesia?
Nope.

Are your fingernails long or short?
Long, except for one that broke that I'm going to have to grow out again. xD But some more will probably break and I'll just cut them all off and wait for them to grow again.

Are you afraid of bright colors?
I am married to bright colors. They're my 47th husband. L Lawliet is my first husband, though...D

Has anyone ever accused you of being gay?
FAKE AND GAY D8<

Can you tell people honest things to their face?
No. I'm horrible at it. xD

Would you rather eat grits or oatmeal?
Maple Brown Sugar oatmeal, plz. Grits taste like you scraped up gravel, ground it up, and dumped it in a bowl with a stick of butter.

Do you lie to make people feel better?
No, I don't think so.

How many times a day do you look at the clock?
A ton. A TON. All the time, seriously.

Do you like to organize things?
Sometimes I get in those moods.

Are you going to have smile lines or frown lines when you're older?
Frown lines, for sure.

Do you floss your teeth every day?
Indeed.

Do you like the game red rover?
dsfhdkfb I LOST THE GAME.
I never played it.

Which is better, thick crust or thin?
Depends. If it's like..cheesecake...you best believe I want some thick graham cracker crust. If it's pizza, I'd say thin.

How good are you at keeping secrets?
I'm excellent. D I didn't use to be.

What stupid little thing really stresses you out?
A little thing called life. D

Can you remember what you wore yesterday?
Nope. xD

Which Disney parks have you been to?
None.

What do you think the drinking age should be?
I guess what it is now. I don't have any desire to drink, so it doesn't matter.

Do you like to wear socks?
Yeah. Knee-socks ftw.

What is the last cartoon you watched?
xD Hetalia Axis Powers. Sort of a cartoon.

What does your bed comforter look like?
Like, purple and white. From when I went through the purple phase. xD

...And pray they don't grow up to be me.

2010-03-25T08:05:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Golden by Fall Out Boy
Feeling: Eh :c

"...Tongues on the sockets of electric dreams
Where the sewage of youth drown the spark of my tears
And I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me (too heavy for me)
And though I carry karats for everyone to see (everyone to see)..."

Slow computer is slow today, even though it's usually not slow. That is not the point of this blogpost today, though, for I have semi-good/semi-bad news.

Yesterday, I finally freaking started the Mafia story. I still don't have a title for it (I was thinking something along "Hello, Nightmare," but I'm not quite sure yet. It's a working title, so I guess that's what it's going to be for now, and what I'll refer to it as), but I've got one chapter down. It's probably a faily chapter, but a chapter nonetheless, and besides; rewriting books once they're finished is all apart of the process. At least, if you're going to sell it.

I realize now, as I post this, that when Flash reads it and finds out that there's a chapter done, she's going to breathe down my neck and demand to see it. xD I still haven't sent her Micah's history like I've been falsely promising (I'll send it...eventually, I swear).

The semi-bad news is that I'm not quite sure what to do now after this first chapter. xD I mean, I do, since I have the plot all finished and neatly written out and whatnot, but I'm not sure how to go about it. I suppose. I was trying to work on it yesterday but dad kept bugging me and poking me in the back. xD

I love that guy, my dad. ♥ He's the best, and so is mom. Those guys are epic.

They always told me I was gorgeous in a way.

2010-03-19T14:33:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Friends and Alibis by Escape the Fate
Feeling: I don't know

"...And all the friends that I have gone through
And how much I deserve the pain
It's a shame
So hold your head
Hold it up high
Here's to the friends that were alibis
Keep this close by your side
When I come home we will have our night
Oh, they always told me I was gorgeous in a way
And that fateful day
I found who I was..."

These are five facts you probably don't know about me. xD But Flash might know these. She knows most of the pathetic, useless facts about me. Sheesh, after two years, I would think so. xD

1. When I go to college, I plan to study journalism as my major, and Japanese Studies as my minor.
2. L Lawliet is my favorite anime guy of all time. Ever. In fact, my favorite fictional character.
3. I'm pretty much facisnated with just about anything emo/scene/goth/punk/alt.
4. I like to make fun of the stuff I like/love, like Twilight or my original characters. It doesn't bother me if you call Edward a sparkling dipsnap. I'll lol with you.
5. I like to sketch in charcoal (My favorite is the 6B ♥) even though it's messy and seems impossible to erase, even with the special eraser specifically made for erasing charcoal.

I've got headaches and bad luck but they couldn't touch you, no.

2010-03-17T18:22:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Of All The Gin Joints In The World by Fall Out Boy
Feeling: EPIC FEELINGS OF HAPPY

"...You only hold me up like this
'Cause you don't know who I really am
Sometimes I just want to know what it's like to be you
We're making out inside crashed cars
We're sleeping through all our memories
I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive
(now I only waste it dreaming of you)
Turn off the lights and turn off the shyness
'Cause all of our moves make up for the silence..."

FVBDHGFUGBPFDHIGBL! ♥

That is happy keyboard mumbo-jumbo right tharr.

Okay, so, I've been RP'ing with Flash and entertaining the thought of Vic (Ric's "twin" brother, though you guys probably have no idea what I'm talking about xD) being in a special type of mafia. And so, last night, while I was reading some Death Note, it suddenly slapped me in the face: all those random characters I've been drawing? MAFIA CHARACTERS. Or, this special mafia thing. It's different than a typical mafia...some people are magical/have powers or are just normal humans trained highly in combat and the use of guns or knives.

I'm so happy about this I can barely breathe.

I'm pretty sure I crapped a brick made of sugar, spice, everything nice, and sparkles.

This means my writer's block is leaving! Once I finally have the main characters (Probably some of the supporting characters, too) all nice and neat, I can start formulating a plot. This could take only a week, or a couple weeks, or even a few months, but the point is, I can start doing something productive with my writing again. c: This makes Merz very, very excited and happy.

I can barely wait to squeal what I have so far at Flash. xD

So far, I have all the names of the Mafia: Micah, Quentin, the Hails Triangle (Vic, Ric, and Skylar. "We'll give 'em Hails!" Ric says. xD), Oblivion, Guillotine, and Roslyn. I guess they can get some outside help from Hatchet and Aubree? I don't know if I'd ever bring Justice and Audree in on this...

I'm pretty sure I have Micah's history of his plots before he decided to start the Mafia and how he became immortal and how you become immortal and kill one. And for his name? Ttly got that from Paranormal Activity. ;D I liked the name and wrote it down somewhere.

Love that movie. *_*

Listening To: I've Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song) by Fall Out Boy

"...And besides my reputation's on the line
We can fake it for the airwaves
Force our smiles, baby, half dead
From comparing myself to everyone else around me
Please put the doctor on the phone 'cause I'm not making any sense
Blame everyone but me for this mess
And my back has been breaking from this heavy heart
We never seemed so far
I'm hopelessly hopeful, you're just hopeless enough
But we never had it at all..."

I found a piece of you on the floor next to the couch near the gummy bears that your mom left out.

2010-03-16T12:51:00.000-07:00

Listening To: I Think You Know by Julia Nunes
Feeling: Sleepy

"...'Cause if you're gone then I'm gone
Whatever road you are on
I know we'll survive
Just as long as you drive
I'll hold my arms up till the blood drains from my finger tips
My shoulder blades will burn but I won't be the first to quit
But I cant watch as your appendages fall from your sleeves
I wanna put you back together if you let me..."

dbnfvhidbhydbfl
The last post totally breaks up the monotony of the serious posts I was slapping up nearly everyday. I have no idea what emo streak stabbed through me, but as emo as I might be, I can still post things that aren't serious. I was thinking of making a separate blog to post the serious stuff, but I think if this blog is about me (Narcissistic little...), then you need every single version and every single side of me if you want the real thing.

Though I don't think many/any people read this thing anymore, I still always post on it. I don't think just because you have Followers that it means people read your blog or just because no one leaves comments that no one reads it. I suppose I just have a feeling.

I also suppose that I say "I suppose" a lot. :C I should really tone that down, because it's going to get annoying for all of us.

Speaking of annoying, though, I have this extremely strong urge to write...BUT I still can't think of anything to write about. I definitely think I'm going to take a hiatus from the Judgment Trilogy because I have know idea WTF to do with it. It's extremely unlikely that I'll be on hiatus from it forever because it has to tie in with the Sacrifice Trilogy so much. I don't know if I can just leave my future readers hanging.

Listening To: Echo by Incubus (Much love to Flash, who introduced me to these guys)

"...Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'Cause without love I won't survive..."

fdjfbldhffsd, again.
It just really upsets me about this writing. :C Sure, I doodle crap all the freaking time, but that's going to get old sometime soon, and you know what? I'll end up having art block, too. I can't imagine being doubly blocked from two of the things I love most. I suppose if something like that happens I could just read for awhile, or melt my brain on some anime so it can stop working so hard on these conundrums and cool down for awhile.

Stop worrying and stressing out, brain. You're being really annoying lately.

Still, good things have happened, too. Really good things.

If I have proper encouragement and a good idea, I'll be able to bust out of this little block I'm trapped in. Even if I have had this block since...forever, it feels like. How many months has it been so far? D8< I think the longest writer's block I ever had was a year and a half.

WTF DO NOT WANT.

No hxc dancing in the living room.

2010-03-14T03:55:00.000-07:00

Listening To: No Hardcore Dancing In the Living Room by Chiodos
Feeling: Hungry

1. Who was the last person to call you babe?
Probably Flash, who was making fun of me. :c Can't remember what for though.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
Yes. It's always me who returns the cart; it never fails.

3. If you had to kiss the last person you kissed, would you?
No?

4. Has someone ever sang a song to you?
No, never.

5. Do you play Sudoku?
Every now and then, but I'm usually reading a book or writing or drawing. Or talking to that lame-o in Latvia.

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness would you survive?
No. I'm pretty sure I'd die within the first day.

7. Have you danced in the rain?
Never.

8. Would you consider yourself a jock/prep/goth/emo/gangster?
I suppose I'm a bit emo? xD No razorblades for me, though.

9. Ever been to the beach?
A few times when I was way young. It was so pretty there.

10. Do you like cheese?
I do like cheese. Very tasty.

11. Have you ever been to the emergency room?
I have.

12. Do you like hot or cold weather more?
I don't really know. Whenever it's hot I say I'd rather have cold weather but when it's cold I say I'd rather have hot.

13. How many different kinds of meat have you eaten?
Do you expect me to keep a tally?

14. Do you pass gas and blame it on others?
Never. I don't pass gas around others, period.

15. Do you like winter?
No, notrly.

16. Have you wiped a booger under your desk?
That's repulsive; of course not.

17. Do you have a secret crush?
I don't have a crush at all unless you count fictional characters.

18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you would do?
I'd grab my pugs and yell to my parents so we could get out, and they would grab the yorks. And then I'd try to go back for my laptop.

19. Would you get plastic surgery?
No D; I'd be afraid someone would mess up my face or other part of my body they're operating on.

20. Who do you text the most?
I haven't texted a lot lately.

21. What color are your eyes?
fbhbfsdbf Faily hazel.

22. How tall are you?
5'5"

23. Do you wish you had smaller feet?
No, not really. I think they're an okay size.

24. Has a rumor been spread about you?
Yes. I hadn't hung around my neighborhood "friends" quite awhile back and a rumor went around that I broke my leg. Oh, and one of my friends thought I was albino, despite the fact that I don't have red eyes or white hair. Just really. Really. Really. Really. Pale.

25. Have you written a secret admirer letter?
No. I would die from epic nervousness just picking up the pen.

26. Ever fallen for your best friend?
No. My best friend is a girl, in case you haven't noticed. xD

27.
hohoho, what was here?~

28. Would you pretend to like something to please your partner?
Never.

29. Favorite Ex?
Don't have one. I hate everyone equally, don't you see? <3

30. Are you insecure about your weight?
xD That's just dumb.

31.
There was something here, but it left.

32. Would you rather give or recieve?
Receive because I'm a Selfish Sully, but I like to give, too, to see the looks on their faces.

33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
Sleep. D I have lots of dreams when I sleep.

34. Do you look more like your mom or dad?
My dad. :3 I act like him, too.

35. How long does it take you in the shower?
15-30 mins, usually.

36. Do you watch reality tv?
I usually don't watch TV at all unless it's a)Anime, b)Vampire Diaries, or c)A specific movie I want to watch. I mean, I watch Big Bang Theory and stuff every great while, but the TV is usually abandoned to go read something.

37. What movie do you want to see right now?
If I had to pick? Err...Percy Jackson and the Lightning Flash, or Whip It. All the scary movies look like crap.

38. Do you illegally burn music?
No, not ever. I couldn't imagine breaking the law.

39. What did you do for New Years Eve?
I sat around and ate stuff. Nom nom.

40. Do you think The Grudge was crappy?
*makes so-so motion with hands* It takes a lot to impress me in the gore department.

41. Last sporting event attended?
Probably a football game. I'm not into sports.

42. Have you been to an IMAX theater?
Yes, I think so.

43. Was your mom a cheerleader?
She might've been. She was really pretty and I think, popular.

44. Were you a planned pregnancy for your parents?
Yus. D

45. What is your middle name?
I can't say, but I do go by my middle name because I hate my first name. Personal reasons.

46. How old was your mom when she gave birth to you?
If I tell you you might figure out how old I am o; Can't remember if I've ever said my mom's age.

47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
Depends.

48.
So many poofing questions.

49. What do you buy at the Movies?
Usually just the ticket. That crizz is expensive, yo.

50. Do you know how to play poker?
Nope.

51. Do you wear your seat belt?
Always. xD For some reason.

52. What do you wear to sleep??
Usually a random tee and some comfy pants. Gotta love those comfy pants.

53. Anything big ever happen in your town?
Not that I know of.

54. Is your hair straight or curly?
I straighten it, but naturally it has a repulsive slight curl to the ends.

55. Is your tongue pierced?
No, and I don't plan on it. xD

56. Do you like Liver and Onions?
Liver ewewewewewewewewew.

57. What is your favorite sushi?
I have lots of favorites D But the pink stuff to cleanse your palete is just nasty.

58. Do you like funny or serious people better?
I like both. Everything can't be a joke but everything can't be mundane either.

59. Ever been to Hollywood?
No, never that far.

60. Who is on your mind right now?
Writer's block and how much it fails.

61. Any plans for tonight?
Probably just doodle crappily.

62. Last party attended?
Merz + parties = no.

63. Do you hate chocolate?
I love it a lot. <3 Crunch bars for the win.

64. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
Err, my sassily awesome attitude? xD Not so awesome to them. Or anyone else.

65. Are you a gullible person?
YUS. I wanna change that.

66. Ever go to a theme or costume party?
No.

67. If you could have any job what would it be?
Novelist. <3

68. Are you easy to get along with?
No. xD Definitely not. And I hate everyone at first, and if I get to know you I decide if I like you.

69. What is your favorite time of day?
xD I don't know if I have a favorite. Maybe towards the end of the day; squeeze in some epic doodles and go to sleep.

70. Are you a generally happy person?
Hurr.

I know exactly what goes on.

2010-03-12T14:14:00.000-08:00

Listening To: Cute Without the E by Taking Back Sunday
Feeling: Nervous

"...Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don't ever tell me
I know you well enough to know you never loved me..."

I don't really have any incredibly deep thoughts to share with you all today. I'm not sure what the last few posts are all about; meaning, why I've been thinking so deeply about everything lately. Maybe, like I've said, I'm growing up just like Flash is. Though, my deep-rooted feelings for Japan haven't ceased...but I don't really think that liking anime, manga, etc. is a real sign of growing up or being a kid. It's just something to enjoy.

The only really deep thought I have is that I know exactly what goes on in the world, even if I pretend not to...pretending to myself, I guess. The world seems like a scary place where people can get hurt very easily. Maybe we'll all end up equipped properly to face it.

Listening To: MakeD**nSure by Taking Back Sunday

"...And we lay, we lay together just not
Too close, too close (How close is close enough?)
We lay, we lay together just not
Too close, too close
I just wanna break you down so badly
Well I trip over everything you say
Well I just wanna break you down so badly
In the worst way..."

Life is too short, and you're almost dead.

2010-03-11T16:49:00.000-08:00

Listening To: Lyrical Lies by Cute Is What We Aim For

Feeling: Like thinking about something.

"...And I think what I just wrote is going over my head

I'm stealing lines from myself

And what I said was never said

It's just a lyrical lie

Made up in my mind..."

You know how when you're teenager, you always think you're thoroughly invincible. I'm a teenager, so I should know, but...I also think that when you're an adult, it seems like most things end for you. I won't be able to lay in bed all day listening to my iPod on Sundays anymore when I'm an adult someday; I'll be working on a presentation for work or making business calls (For some reason, I see myself as a businesswoman journalist until I become a novelist).

Seems like the fun is going to be over before any of us will realize it, and then it's on to the structured little lives we're going to have to uphold. Even if some of you decide not to have kids or even a husband/wife, you're life is still going to be busy. You won't be able to set in your chair on your computer for hours on end and type away in your blog or doodle around with your iPod turned up to the max.

I guess I was also thinking about one day when I have a husband. It was practically almost a life-long dream to have a husband who would love me forever and just be so perfect, but now that I'm older I realize (Though I'm a romantic most of the time) that this is real life. Marriage can end in divorce. There can be infidelity (For me, though, I would never cheat. I've never cheated at anything in my life; I just can't do it). There can be a fading of love. Everything can end.

Call me a pessimist, but....maybe I'm just trying to grow up, too, and be more realistic.

Listening To: That Green Gentleman (Things Have Changed) by Panic! At the Disco

"...Things are shaping up to be pretty odd

Little deaths in musical beds

So it seems I'm someone I've never met

You will only hear these elegant crimes

Fall on your ears from criminal dimes

They spill unfound from a pretty mouth..."

Maybe it's true that when officially grow up, our old self dies and is reborn as someone who's ready for marriage, a job, to be successful, to not be so flippant or lazy. Some of us never die and become that person; some of live on through the transition hatefully and end up a lifelong dreamer.

Can we really be a dreamer forever? I am a dreamer, but I know I can't just be a teenager, acting and dressing like one, when I'm thirty-years-old. That's seems a bit wrong; the people who do that, who copy the trends around them or of teenagers of their friends to make sure they're fashionable, are sickening. It's pathetic and a cry out to be young and hip. I detest adults like that.

Bada Bing! Wit A Pipe!

2010-03-10T17:05:00.000-08:00

Listening To: Bada Bing! Wit A Pipe! by Four Years Strong

Feeling: Hungry (Doesn't that just ruin the serious mood of a post)

"...Sing it back to me; this is your life story

You didn't even know it you're trying not to blow it

Because you're kicking back a death wish and here I am just riding out the storm

Believe me when I say that I want to give up

I want to give up but it's bad enough to keep me hooked

Just to watch you curse my name and toss and turn..."

I was thinking about some of the better ways that I've changed, even though it seems like it's a bit narcissistic to think about oneself too much, but I guess I am pretty self-absorbed and vain sometimes, andothers I have low self-esteem, usually when I'm around a cute boy.

But that's entirely beside the point. We're talking about my positive changes; my positive points.

I would have to say that I think I've improved in my writing; I think the movements are smoother, less rough, and the characters have more complexity and originality. They have songs that describe them, and since my art skills have also seemed to improve, I can get them straighter in my head when I draw them. They now have pasts and lives before the story that I'm writing them in. They don't have just a generic personality.

The art skills that seem to've crept up behind me and consumed me, making me draw all the time lately because of my writer's block, that are getting better have caused my parents to run out and buy me a huge sketchbook (The sheets of paper are maybe twice the size of my laptop screen? And wider?), art supplies, loose sketch paper. It takes a lot for my parents to be impressed; they don't impress or compliment easily, and they would never say I was good if I weren't. Still, this isn't pumping my ego. My head is staying roughly the same size it's always been. I don't think a day's gone by since my writer's block that I haven't at least doodled something, even if it's small.

Listening To: YEAH! Ska Dance by Oreskaband

"...Kimi ni namida ni mou hitotsu

Kireina mizu wo sosogou ka?

Kanashii toki niwa issho ni nakou

Sukoshizutsu shiawase ni narebaii..."

The fact that I'm also listening to music all the time also makes me happy, for some reason. I can almost always find a song to match my current situation, mood, what I'm writing, or what I'm drawing. Music seems to make things very easy or easier. I used to listen to music a lot before, but now I am literally pretty much doing one/multiple of these things at once at all times: on the computer, reading, writing, drawing, listening to music.

I'm also still attempting to learn Japanese and more about the Asian culture, but I hate how every other teenager is an "otaku" and whenever I attempt to say that I'm serious about the Japanese culture, people brush me off by saying, "Isn't everyone supposedly serious about the Japanese culture?" I don't like it when they do it, but they don't know me. I try not to care so much, as it's just them running their mouth off and not really caring. I'm friends with one of these people, though, so no hard feelings.

They were never my friends and I was living a lie, but I won't fall for it next time.

2010-03-07T17:29:00.000-08:00

Listening To: Remember to Feel Real by Armor For Sleep

Feeling: Reflective

"...'Cause you know I change myself

To impress whoever happens to be next to me

But I'm sick of trying so hard

Waste all your time with me

I know I'm a mess right now

Don't give up; believe

I'd wait it out for you..."

Ah, just unfortunately thinking about last summer and the summer before it, and how my friends always abandon me as soon as school starts. I'm sure it would be a lot easier if I went to school with them instead of being homeschooled, but I love being homeschooled. I would never want to change being homeschooled.

I'm not sure why it seems to happen to me every time, but I realize (As I usually do, later down the road when I wished I had realized it much, much earlier) that my mom was right when she said that anyone would be blessed if they find one true friend for their life.

I don't really want to dwell on it, but the title and the chorus does describe me. I always try to feel out whatever person I'm talking to and try to find common interests and blend myself in to be complimentary to them and their personality so I can impress them and they'll want to be friends with me. I suppose I wonder if they knew my anime/all Japanophile ways, my crazy humor, my extremely serious moments, the way my brain works, that everything would come crashing down.

Listening To: Stop and Stare by OneRepublic

"...This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us

It's time to make our move, I'm shakin' off the rust

I've got my heart set on anywhere but here

I'm staring down myself, counting up the years..."

And somewhere in my brain must've told me I was an idiot to do something like that. And so, last year at summertime, I decided I would open myself up as much as I possibly could, and display my full personality...or, at least, quite a bit of it. And I thought I had a fast-best-friend.

We laughed. Talked all the time. Had inside jokes. Had a secret-handshake. Ran out in the street together everytime we saw each other outside. Walked our dogs together. Talked about our mutual favorite band (Which was the Jonas Brothers, whom I really do detest now). Scoped out hot guys. Played childish games. Read the same books at the same time and tell each other what we thought of it. Painted our nails the same color. It was almost as if we were truly connected at the hip.

It was some of the best times, it seemed, and I couldn't wait for it to continue. But as soon as school started for us both, the seperation cut our ties, apparently. The phone calls stopped coming and when I called, I was ignored. I did try to figure out what I must've done wrong, and even though she didn't care for anything Japanese or some of my other interests, she didn't resent me because I liked them. She laughed like crazy at my facial expressions and my jokes. It seemed my personality was likable. That I, in fact, was likable.

Listening To: I So Hate Consequences by Relient K

"...And after all of my alibis desert me

I just want to get by

I don't want nothing to hurt me

I had no idea where my head was at

But if my heart says I'm sorry can we leave it at that

Because I just want for all of this to end..."

I was not the shy girl with her that couldn't speak up or hold up a convesation without fading out into the background because someone else talked over me or didn't even hear me at all - or, even worse, ignored me altogether. It felt awesome to have a best friend to talk to. Of course, it appears she was not really my best friend. Or a friend at all.

As for this blog title's lyrics, what I'm trying to say is, I won't get sucked in this year to another summer of false friendship, from not only this fake best friend, but the other fake friends of my neighborhood who acted.

You all deserve Oscars.

There's a Hole Where Something Was.

2010-03-01T08:02:00.000-08:00

Listening To: Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes by Fall Out Boy

Feeling: like giving it a ponder

"I'm a loose bolt of a complete machine

What a match, I'm half-doomed and you're semi-sweet

So boycott love, detox just to retox

And I'd promise you anything for another shot at life

Imperfect boys with their perfect lives

Nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy

(Wants to hear you sing about tragedy)"

I was thinking about my writing. I haven't been writing anything but scraps every now and then for a little while because of writer's block, so I've been practicing drawing in my spare time when I had nothing to do. Mom and dad say I'm improving. Even Flash says I'm improving. It makes me happy to draw, but I'm worried I'll get too wrapped up in it and end up forgetting about writing. You can't exactly throw away five years of that, though, can you? I wouldn't think that I would be such a fickle teenager as that.

Still, I have varying opinions of myself, from low to high, depending on who I'm around and what particular mood I'm in. I used to hold myself up pretty high on a pedestal, thinking I was smarter, prettier, more mature than everyone else, but that just isn't true. I know I've said it before, but I have changed alot over the years, and I definitely don't know myself yet. I want too, but it's so hard to get in touch; to come within reach.

I suppose you can love more than one hobby at a time without it having to be a career choice; writing, however, I believe is my career choice. I wasn't born with talent, but only few people, are, aren 't they? You have to practice to get better. You don't naturally come out the womb with a pencil and piece of paper and are set for life.

Listening To: The (Shipped) Gold Standard by Fall Out Boy

"I wanna scream I love you from the top of my lungs

But I'm afraid that someone else will hear me

You can only blame your problems on the world for so long

Before it all becomes the same old song

As soon as we hit the hospital I know we're gonna leave this town

And get new passports and get, get, get, get, get out now"

What I decided though, is that I'm going to do what makes me happy. I'm going to draw, I'm going to write. I'm going to listen to mainstream music and music so obscure only a few people know about it (Like Owl City before he beacame popular. I was a long-time fan of his along with Flash before his Fireflies boom). I'm going to create charcters crazy or sane, with whatever appearences I want them to have, in whatever drawing style. I'll love like a vampire.

I'll be Team Edward, Team Damon, Team Hikaru, Team Death the Kid, Team L.

I'll just try to be me to the best of my abilities and love my friends and family with every bit of my heart and not hold back. I'll enjoy every moment in their presence and I'll remember the memories years from now. I'll be the one to ask "remember when."

I don't have to suscribe to a style to like it.

I don't have to fit your perceived notions of me or the blank copies I put out for people.

Accept me or hate me, either way, I am me.

NaNoWriMo.

2009-11-15T15:23:00.001-08:00

NaNoWriMo is hard.

I'm 3000 words behind my own schedule.

It's full of fail.

Justice is such a bag to write about.

Mercy's in a coma.

Audree thinks she's smexy.

Judgment is suspicious.

Auden is an idiot.

Ryder is a pervert.

I keep having daydreams about L Lawliet.

And I'm going to give someone a beatdown.

Your Life Soundtrack Shuffle Quiz

2009-10-25T12:11:00.000-07:00

I love these. xDD

Let's hope there's nothing embarassing. *flail*

Waking Up: Dance Hall Drug by Boys Like Girls

Good Day: A Welcome Vacation by Julia Nunes

Bad Day: All Shook Up by Elvis Presley

Long day: I Caught Myself by Paramore

Lullaby aka music to fall asleep to: The State of Florida by Less Than Jake

After a fight with your best friend: Trouble by NeverShoutNever

After a fight with your parents: Hear Me by Kelly Clarkson

After a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend: Just Dance by Lady Gaga feat. Colby O'Donis

Falling in love: We Say Summer by All Time Low

Breaking up: A Movie Script Ending by Death Cab For Cutie

Making out: The Reeling by Passion Pit

Making up: Strawberry Fields Forever by Jim Sturgess & Joe Anderson

Sneaking out: Monsoon by Tokio Hotel

Being reckless: Keep The Change, You Filthy Animal by All Time Low

Road trip: Hot Limit by T.M. REvolution

Graduation day: All Around Me by Flyleaf

Senior week: So What by P!nk

Remembering: When I See You Smile by Bad English ( xDDDDD; )

Childhood memories: Undo Me by Jennifer Knapp

Vacation: Break Out! Break Out! (Acoustic) by All Time Low

Seeing an old love: Faking My Own Suicide by Relient K

Angry mood: No Such Thing by John Mayer

Depressed mood: Hey There Delilah by Plain White T's

Happy mood: The Downfall of Us All by A Day To Remember

Quiet mood: Fabulous by Scotty Vanity

Loving mood: Super Honeymoon by Owl City

Song for growing up: More Love, More Power by Michael W. Smith

Summer love: Circus by Britney Spears

Just SUMMER: All Star by Smash Mouth

Winter romance: No Rain by Blind Melon

Loosing your best friend: Ouchi ga Ichiban by Satomi Korogi

Loosing your love: Pushin' Me Away by Jonas Brothers

Loosing a family member: Panda Bear by Owl City

YOUR funeral song: Comin' Around by Metro Station

Your song you're remembered by: The Dynamo of Volition by Jason Mraz

Your family's song for you: Time For Me To Fly by Jonas Brothers

Song when you have kids [NO KIDS]: Power of My Love [Alternate Take 3] by Elvis Presley

The song that reminds you of your kids [NO CRAPLINGS]: Blur by Britney Spears

Your wedding: We Both Know by Ivoryline

Your KIDS graduation [NO KIDS]: Forgotten by Linkin Park

Your PARENTS funeral: Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band by the Beatles [Let's hope it's a crapload of years from now]

The song that ties your life together: Sister by Angelo

Your best friend's song for you: Presume Too Much by Merz [xD]

The song that reminds you of your childhood town: Our Eyes by Teddy Geiger

Your first love: If You Really Knew by Out Of Eden

Your school days: The Answer by Automatic Loveletter

Your favorite summer song: What Might Have Been by Little Texas

The song that reminds you of the one thing you wish you could get back: Thunder (Acoustic) by Boys Like Girls

Your drinking song: Joyful Kings by Jonas Brothers [WATER DRINKING, THAT IS]

Your party song: Confessions by City & Colour

Some made sense.

Some were embarassing.

And some made no sense at all.

Changing

2009-10-19T14:09:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Balloons by Julia Nunes

Feeling: Sad

I was just thinking about how things have changed now that Jesse is gone. And that made me think about other changes in my life and the lives of the people around me that I love and care about.

I have changed so much from what I was, whether I've changed for better or worst. I may still be introverted and working on that, but I've really took a sharp look at how I was and how I am, and whether I deserve what I have. All the stuff I have and the people around me that care so much about me.

What kind of person am I to deserve all this?

Listening To: Odd by Julia Nunes

I feel like I'm selfish and abnormal. In a whole different category than the people around me, who constantly give and give to me and to others, and they are extraordinary rather than odd. I wonder about how they would handle the situations that I am currently faced with or have faced, and about which of us picked the better route.

Listening To: Regrets by Julia Nunes

But what are my good qualities? I've heard that we are our own worst critics. The only people who can tell me what I truly am are the ones around me. Is that because I don't know who I really am inside just yet? I'd like to say that I know, but I couldn't tell you that, because I'd be a liar, and I'm tired of lying. I'm never going to again. It did nothing but hurt me and everyone I love.

There are so many rolemodels of mine. Celebrities, sure, but I'm talking about in my life. My mother, my two cousins, other family members. But I have to say the person I look up to the most would be my father.

He's like everything I've wanted to be. A great writer; no, the best. I wish he would just write all the books he has had bouncing around his head all these years. But he's not just the best writer, but one of the reasons I decided to become I writer. He inspired me so much and I don't think he really knows just how much. I didn't look up to J.K. Rowlilng or some other author. It's my daddy, all the way.

He is so smart, too. And witty. He can toss out a comeback in a split second that will make the whole room laugh. Some of my best memories are the jokes that dad has told, and the time I've spent with him.

So many other things about him just seem so perfect to me, like his cooking skills, the way he tries to treat me like an adult, the way I can always talk to him and the advice he gives, and the love he gives. I'm so glad for the traits he's passed on to me.

And my mom. Oh, mom.

The way she has so much love in her heart. She's so perfect that way; love for her family, love for her animals, love for the plants and things from the earth. The way her eyes just sparkle sometimes, and her beauty, then and now, the things like that that I envy of her.

The way she's so opiniated, yelling at the TV. The way she defends her family with everything she has, never backing down. I'll never forget the time at my aunt's shop when she defended me from this rude, old woman.

Her cooking, the kind only a mother can supply, and her easy way to quickly sympathize and hold me tight, keeping all those troubles away from me. I'm happy for the traits she's passed on to me and envious of the ones she hasn't.

I feel like I haven't been fair to my parents. I don't think I've treating them as well as I should be, but Jesse made me realize that I can't let things be like this. Mom and dad are still here with me. I want to change, and I will. Because when they're gone, I don't want to have regrets.

Jesse.

2009-10-16T08:37:00.000-07:00

R.I.P., Sir Jesse Pugglesworth.

November 19th, 2002 - October 16th, 2009

Actual Thoughts

2009-10-12T12:54:00.001-07:00

Feeling: Like actually blogging for once
Listening To: Shameless by All Time Low

I was thinking that lately, all I've been posting are memes. And I been feeling bad about that. After all, people don't really come here to see the first five pages full of memes or whatever, am I right? Personally, I love doing memes and reading them, but not everybody is as insane as I am.

Alright, so, Halloween is coming up soon. I won't be gorging myself on candy or going out trick-or-treating, as I'm too old for that supposedly, but I will be dressing up. I'm going to go as a Twilight vampire - whichever one I can put together a costume close enough to look like them. xD It won't be that good, but it's fun for me nonetheless. I could always just go as a regular vampire? I don't have any money for special Twi contacts and I don't know if I'm going to get a wig or not. I could always go as Jane...but with hazel eyes. xD Hopefully, no one will notice, since it'll be dark and whatnot. I'll be spouting Twilight quotes at people all night, if I'm a Twi-vamp or not. xD

I'm currently in an epic fail state of writer's block. It's been here for about...2 or 3 weeks and it's about to drive me insane. I mean, I wrote a page or so of my latest book, but it's going to eat me from the inside out of I don't get to the 10,000 words mark soon. I mean, I have all these ideas for later on in the series, but none for now. Under the wise advice of Flash, who basically told me to just wait it out, I have ignored her. xD And I also ignored my parents, who suggested I focus on my drawing (Which I am very fail at) and getting better at that, not even thinking about the writing and maybe it'll come to me. Who knows? They could be right. They are parents, after all. They tend to do that.

Listening To: Buy U A Drank by Nickasaur!

I've officially decided to try out for drama at my church. Basically, you just show up and they go with whoever is there for the skit. I assume you actually have to act though, and as we all know, I can't talk to people that well. xD Much less get up in front of them and burst out into character. I'm hoping that I'll be able to muster up all my skills (Because, according to several people, two things that actresses must be: 1)Good and 2)Over-dramatic).

I'll end up chickening out, I'm sure, and running to hide behind some curtains or something.

Listening To: True Love by Said the Shark

Alright, so, let's see...what stuff have I gotten lately...(I always used to update my blog when I got stuff. Now I just kind of mosey about xD)...I got some clothes, some leggings, some pajamas, a new purple and black scarf, etc. I got some cool stuff from my aunt which she's never worn. xDD And she's the type of aunt who wears all the stuff the "young" people wear and is all hip and whatnot. Not wannabe hip, but actual hip.

She also gave me some Bath & Body Works lotions she's never used. 8D Vanilla Brown Sugar, Moonlit Path, and Twilight Woods (TWILIGHT HOMG 8D I'm pining for the New Moon premiere). Mom bought me some Orange Blossom lotion...it's brand is, like, The Naked Bee or something. Smells really nice. She also bought me the ChapStick of the same flavor, and the same brand.

I got some Blueberry Cobbler votive candles and the thing to set them down in, and some scented rocks to go in it, too. 8D It's very pretty looking and it makes my room smell like what I always imagined a grandma's kitchen would smell like.

Listening To: Audacity of huge by Simian Mobile Disco (>w> I'm on Flash's playlist on her blog. The song keeps messing up)

Alright, so...anything else? I don't really think so. I've almost got my Christmas List for my parents compiled, though, which includes the new iPod Nano (In smexy green) and a DSi. 8D I'm getting excited already.

I guess I shall end this blogpost, and post more later, but...

FIRST I HAVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT CONNER OMGWTF.

He is the boy at my church that I have my eye on. He's really cute and funny and outgoing. He has nice hair. He said hi to me one day. *w* I really like him. There was this game that involved Blow Pop suckers, and I asked my friend to give my suckers to him for me. I'm hoping he gets the hint that, "HEY I LIKE YOU." xD I'm just afraid him and his best friend, who happens to be a female, like each other/are a couple. I would never move in on another girl's man unless I didn't know it, and if I did know it, I'd stay far and clear away.

So...I guess that's finally it. xD

I Have...

2009-10-10T13:11:00.000-07:00

Bought everyone in the bar a drink
Swam with wild dolphins
Climbed a mountain
Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
Been inside the Great Pyramid
Held a tarantula
Taken a candlelit bath with someone
Said "I love you" and meant it
Hugged a tree
Bungee jumped
Visited Paris
Watched a lightning storm at sea - from the shore
Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
Seen the Northern Lights
Gone to a huge sports game
Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
Grown and eaten your own vegetables
Touched an iceberg
Slept under the stars
Changed a baby's diaper
Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
Watched a meteor shower
Gotten drunk on champagne
Given more than you can afford to charity
Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
Had a food fight
Bet on a winning horse
Asked out a stranger
Had a snowball fight
Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
Held a lamb
Seen a total eclipse
Ridden a roller coaster
Hit a home run
Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
Adopted an accent for an entire day
Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
Had two hard drives for your computer
Visited all 50 states
Taken care of someone who was drunk
Had amazing friends
Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
Watched wild whales
Stolen a sign
Backpacked in Europe
Taken a road-trip
Gone rock climbing
Midnight walk on the beach
Gone sky diving
Visited Ireland
Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
Visited Japan
Milked a cow
Alphabetized your CDs
Pretended to be a superhero
Sung karaoke (Privately)
Lounged around in bed all day
Played touch football
Gone scuba diving
Kissed in the rain
Played in the mud
Played in the rain
Gone to a drive-in theater
Visited the Great Wall of China
Started a business
Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
Toured ancient sites
Taken a martial arts class
Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
Gotten married
Been in a movie
Crashed a party
Gotten divorced
Gone without food for 5 days
Made cookies from scratch
Won first prize in a costume contest
Ridden a gondola in Venice
Gotten a tattoo
Rafted the Snake River
Been on television news programs as an "expert"
Got flowers for no reason
Performed on stage
Been to Las Vegas
Recorded music
Eaten shark
Kissed on the first date
Gone to Thailand
Bought a house
Been in a combat zone
Buried one/both of your parents
Been on a cruise ship
Spoken more than one language fluently well enough to have a decent conversation
Performed in Rocky Horror
Raised children
Followed your favourite band/singer on tour
Started your own wiki
Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
Had plastic surgery
Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
Wrote articles for a large publication
Lost over 100 pounds
Held someone while they were having a flashback
Piloted an airplane
Touched a stingray
Broken someone's heart
Helped an animal give birth
Won money on a T.V. game show
Broken a bone
Gone on an African photo safari
Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
Ridden a horse
Had major surgery
Had a snake as a pet
Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
Visited all 7 continents
Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
Eaten kangaroo meat
Eaten sushi
Had your picture in the newspaper
Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
Gone back to school
Parasailed
Touched a cockroach
Eaten fried green tomatoes
Read The Iliad
Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
Killed and prepared an animal for eating
Skipped all your school reunions
Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
Been elected to public office
Written your own computer language
Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
Had to put someone you love into hospice care
Built your own PC from parts
Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
Had a booth at a street fair
Dyed your hair
Been a DJ
Shaved your head
Caused a car accident
Saved someone's life

2009-10-10T13:04:00.000-07:00

I am a cuddler. I am a morning person. I am a perfectionist. I am a night person. I am an only child (Technically). I am Catholic. I am currently in my pajamas. I am currently suffering from a broken heart. I am okay at styling other people’s hair. I am left handed. I am addicted to my myspace. I am very shy around the opposite gender. I bite my nails. I can be paranoid at times. I currently regret something that I have said. When I get mad I curse frequently. I like someone. I enjoy jazz music. I enjoy smoothies. I enjoy talking on the phone. I have a pet. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal. I have a tendency to fall for the wrong person. I have all my grandparents (I think o3o). I have at least one sibling. I have been told that I am smart. I have broken a bone. I have Caller I.D. on my phone. I have bathed/showered with someone. I have changed a diaper. I have changed a lot over the past year. I have friends who have never seen my natural hair. I have had surgery. I have killed another person. I have had my hair cut within the last week. I have had the cops called on me. I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn’t have. I have held hands with someone who wasn’t my boyfriend/girlfriend. I have loved someone. I have danced around naked.

How Well Do I know Flash?

2009-10-10T12:47:00.000-07:00

How Well Do You Know Your Best Friend? Created by dandelionandburdock and taken 3655 times on Bzoink
Basics
what is your best friend's full name?:	Rasa Leela Gava
where was he/she born?:	...Europe 8D
where does he/she currently live?:	Latvia, Europe
who does he/she live with?:	'The Neighbors'
how many pets do they have?:	...Four?
what are the names of all of their pets?:	Flail
how many vehicles does their family own?:	Let's say one 8D
when is his/her birthday?:	September 5th.
what colour are his/her eyes?:	Blue-green-gray
what colour is his/her hair?:	Brown
how tall is your best friend?:	5'6 I think
how old is he/she?:	14
how many bedrooms is in their house?:	Squints Two or three?
About Your Relationship
how well do you think you know your best friend, from 0 to 10?:	8 or 9
what's the best moment you've had with him/her?:	Too many to count D8 Maybe when we first discovered Buy U a DRAAANK. xD
when did you meet?:	On Rescreatu.
how long have you known him/her?:	About a year.
how long have you been best friends with him/her?:	6-9 months?
how much time do you spend with him/her weekly?:	We talk every other day. xD
do you have a song that reminds you of your best friend?:	nodnod Six Feet Under the Stars by All Time Low reminds me of her, partly. And Fireflies by Owl City. o3o
do you keep secrets from each other?:	Notrly. I mean, I don't say my age and stuff, but she's fine with it.
can you be completely honest with him/her?:	Oh, yus.
Their Life
what was your best friend's happiest moment?:	When she met me? xDD I don't really know.
what was your best friend's saddest moment?:	She knows. :<
what job does he/she have?:	Student.
is your best friend married, or does he/she want to be?:	No she doesn't and isn't.
Does your best friend have children, or does he/she want them?:	No, and no. xD
what vehicle does your best friend have?:	She doesn't drive. She's too young.
what is their house like?:	I assume very nice. :3
Dreams
what does he/she most want to do for a job?:	Artist.
where would he/she most like to visit in the world?:	America, my state, my house....xDD
what is their dream car?:	Errr...BMW? o3o
what do they most want in the world?:	Be an artist, I think.
if you could give your best friend anything in the world, what would it be?:	A plane ticket to America.
Their Interests, Hobbies, Likes and Dislikes
what is their favourite food?:	Um...rice 8D? I don't think she cares all that much about food.
what is his/her favourite colour?:	Bright mindblinding green
what is his/her favourite animal?:	Wolf?
what is his/her celebrity crush?:	She has none, because she's so above all of us 8D
what is their favourite way to spend a day?:	Talking to me. xD
name a few things your best friends dislikes.:	N00bs, the roleplay board on Res going to pieces, politics
what is/was their favourite school subject?:	Erm...Art class?
what is his/her favourite TV programme?:	Anything anime o; Spice and Wolf, Soul Eater, Death Note, I guess stuff like that
what is his/her favourite movie?:	Oh geez...um...she doesn't talk about movies a lot. But probably something scary.
what is his/her favourite music?:	She likes all sorts of things, like techno, screamo, more alternative stuff. Jrock too I think.
name one of your best friend's favourite musical artists.:	Trapt.
name one of your best friend's favourite songs.:	Fireflies by Owl City
You've been totally Bzoink*d! Take This Survey Search Surveys Create a Survey

Voice meme

2009-10-07T06:54:00.000-07:00

xD Only I could find something like this.

I did a voice meme.

http://tinypic.com/player.php?v=149mmfn&s=4

OMGWTF I SAID 'MEME' WRONG D8

10 FACTS

2009-10-07T05:49:00.000-07:00

1. I'm an independant, politically speaking, but democrats are usually the ones frustrating me.
2. I'm closer friends with my online best friend than my real one.
3. I love Sarah Dessen books. She's probably my favorite authoress.
4. My favorite pug is Bella. I'm her favorite human, too.
5. I've wanted to be a writer for almost five years.
6. My laptop's name is Pinku, which is "pink" in Japanese.
7. I like to say "smexy." I wasn't allowed to say "sexy" when I was really little, so I said smexy and stuck with it.
8. L Lawliet is my current favorite anime guy.
9. Everyone says I have really nice hair.
10. I had to wear glasses when I was young.

meme. <3 Becase that's all I post anymore.

2009-10-07T04:48:00.000-07:00

1.ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
Through my left eyebrow. Hit my head on a banister when I was little. OMFG I'M DEFORMED

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
Jonas posters galore, some Twilight stuff, a poster I need to take down, Mardi Gras dogs poster, and a bunch of super small posters above my desk of some bands and Jrockers and stuff.

3. WHAT DOES YOUR CELL PHONE LOOK LIKE?
Purple and black Motorola Rival.

4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO?
Just about everything except country.

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
No.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
To be a writer.

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
Flash.

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION?
My laptop, Pinku.

9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SMELL?
Vanilla.~ Or fresh-baked sweets.

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
Sometimes.

11. DO YOU GET SCARED OF THE DARK?
No.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
Victoria Secret Pink Fresh & Clean. It's more of a body spray.

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR DO YOU LIKE ON SOMEONE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO?
xD I like my guys with long hair.

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO AT?
xD Online. Somehow, I can really, actually see someone doing that.

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?
Coffee. Fancily flavored.

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
Sausage.

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Chinese food from my favorite place down the street.

19. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
I make everyone mad. 8D My mom, I think.

20. DO YOU SPEAK A FOREIGN LANGUAGE?
The tiniest bit of Japanese.

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU (OF THE OPPOSITE SEX):
Hmm...I don't know. A rusty shower curtain ring the dude found on the ground? xD

22. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY?
Yus.

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
In mah fingers.

24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
Aeropostale/American Eagle/Hot Topic.

25. WHAT`S YOUR DREAM CAR?
Mercedes Benz/Beetle Bug.

27. WHAT IS ONE OF YOUR DREAMS?
To be a writer. ;D

29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
To tell them that you love them is the ultimate way.

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
300. THIS. IS. SPARTA!

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Blonde, because I am one. xD On guys, probably brunette.

32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL MOST OFTEN?
My best friend.

33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
Democrats. xD

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE US?
No.

35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
Sweet things. D:

36. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE?
Japan/Anywhere but here.

37. FIRST JOB?
Lawn mower.

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
Wish I had the guts too.

39. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS SURVEY?
replying to a different one. xD

40. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
xD I wouldn't.

41. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?
I wanted to do a meme.

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
My hair.

43. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
It wouldn't affect me.

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Not till Feb. 3rd. BUT anything I didn't get for Christmas.

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
None. I hate craplings! /keysmash

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Yes. Precisely one of the reasons I go by my middle name.

47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
Yeah, but I don't count on them for anything.

48. WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVORITE?
Pointer? xD

49. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
Last night.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
No, it's not pretty enough. D:

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Honey ham.

52. ANY BAD HABITS?
Frowning constantly. That's what I'm doing beneath that bandana.

53. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
Ufufufu, Britney Spears, "Circus."

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Probably not. xD

55. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL?
Na.

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
No, they don't have to. Looking good matters to me though.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
I used to do it in my diary, but I don't know what I do now. xD

58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
Online.

59. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
Yeah. Too easily.

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
The pieces that came with all the Barbies.

61. WHAT ARE THE FIRST THREE NUMBERS IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
Abbie (Friend I don't talk to on purpose), Amber (half-sister I don't talk to), and Ariel (Other friend I just don't talk to).

62.
There's no question here~

63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Too much.

64. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?
No.

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A MAN/WOMAN?
Someone who can make me laugh but also is sensitive and doesn't have a tendency to cheat.

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Mercedes, Bean, Kbean, Merce, Merz, etc.

68. DO YOU UN-TIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?

No.

69. WHO IS YOUR CRUSH?
Just this smexy boy.

70. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Idk, something with lots of chunks of stuff in it.

71. WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU WENT ON A DATE?
A month or so ago?

72. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COLORS?
BRIGHT MINDBLINDING COLORS....AND PINK. 8D

73. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
I don't know.

74. WHO/WHAT DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW?
Flash. D;

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
Go have fun.

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Buy You a Drank by Nickasaur!. xD

77. LAST THING YOU ATE?
Penn Station sammich.

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Mother.

79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT A MAN/WOMAN?
Eyes/hair.

80. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG?
Remembering Sunday by All Time Low feat. Julia Simms (Thought-provoking?).

81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE:
xD Well....

82. FAVORITE DRINK?
Fancy flavored coffee, but it's so rare.

83. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN:
Aquarius.

84. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT?
Bike riding?

85. HAIR COLOR?
Blonde, because I am one, but probably black on other people?

86. EYE COLOR?
Blue.

87. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES?
No.

88. SIBLINGS?
Half-brother and half-sister.

89. FAVORITE MONTH?
FEBRUARY.

90. YOU LIKE SUSHI?
Yus. Darn, now you made me want some. D:

91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
Castle.

92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
Christmas. 8D

93. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
Yes.

94. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter.

95. KISSES OR HUGS?
Kiss.

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
Relationship.

97. WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
Flash. ;D

98. WHO IS THE LEAST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
Everyone else.

99. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING?
The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen, Nightmares and Dreamscapes by Stephen King, Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (re-read), Footfree and Fancyloose by Elizabeth Craft and Sarah Fain, The Light of Eidon by Karen Hancock, and The Amber Spyglass by Phillip Pullman. xD But the main is the Dessen one.

100. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?
Err...my friends? xDD

2009-10-07T03:53:00.000-07:00

Your real name: That, I cannot tell. ;3 Call me Mercedes, though.

Age: Teenager

Height: 5'5

Natural hair colour: Brown.

Eye colour: Hazel.

Skin colour: EPIC PALE FAIL.

Glasses/contacts?: Nope. Sometimes I think about getting colored contacts - blue.

Piercings: Ears. Three in my right, two in my left.

Tattoos: No. Needles + me = faintage.

Braces: Not as of yet. Who knows what my parents might do D:

Other distinctive markings: I have a scar through my left eyebrow. I have some other scars, but none are as distinct as that one and the perfectly oval one on my leg.

.:¦FAVOURITE¦:.

Colour: Pink.

Band: Jonas Brothers.

Video game: Guitar Hero.

Movie: :< Er...maybe Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist. Book: I have way too many of those, but any book by Sarah Dessen or John Green. Food: Anything sweet. Game on a cell phone: I have none D; I used to have a free trial of Pac-Man, and that was nice.

Flower: Cherry blossoms.

Scent: Vanilla, probably.

Animal: Cats. Or pugs. xD

Comic book: Death Note or Ouran High School Host Club.

Cereal: Golden Grahams. 8D Dad had some the other day and made me want them.

Website: Gee...there's a lot. Xat, because that's where Flash and I talk, Blogger, for my blog and the ones I read, and YouTube and DeviantArt because I waste a lot of time there.

Cartoon: (If you're talking about anime). Death Note/Ouran High School Host Club.

.:¦DO YOU¦:.

Play an instrument?: If you count Guitar Hero. ;D

Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?: DUDENO. More likely on the computer.

Like to sing?: Yes, even though I fail.

Have a job?: I mow lawn in the summer. During the rest of the time, I write, and aspire to be a novelist. I consider writing a job, even though I'm not selling anything.xD

Have a cell phone?: Can't live without it, crazyface.

Like to play sports?: NO. /keysmash

Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: No.

Have a crush on someone?: Yes.

Live somewhere NOT in the united states?: No.

Have more than 5 TVs in your house?: Yes. xDD

Have any special talents/skills?: Writing? Doublejointed in some of my fingers?

Exercise daily?: The most excercise I get is picking up my sammich. :< (This is pretty much true xD) I'm not sure how I stay thin. xD Like school?: No. .:¦CAN YOU¦:. Sing the alphabet backwards?: I've never tried. xD But probably not.

Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?: Sure.

Speak any other languages?: I know incredibly little Japanese.

Go a day without food?: I have before, but I don't like to.

Remember your dreams: Most of the time.

Read music, not just tabs?: No. D:

Roll your tongue?: What? xD

Eat a whole pizza?: I've never tried...I think it's time for a pizza >8D

.:¦HAVE YOU EVER¦:.

Won something in the lottery?: *shakes head sadly*

Snuck out of the house?: No. xD

Lied to get out of trouble?: Yes. Long time ago. D: I don't do that anymore.

Had a computer crash?: I think so.

Seen a shooting star?: No.

Been to any other countries?: No.

Had a serious surgery?: No.

Stolen something important to someone else?: No. D: I did steal a guy's heart once but I didn't know it. xD;

Solved a rubiks cube?: .__. No. I want one!

Gone out in public in your pyjamas?: Yes. xD

Cried over a girl?: xD Not in a romantic way like the question might imply. But more like, 'Why is she so freaking bipolor D:' Friends are tough, yo. xD

Cried over a boy?: Of course.

Kissed a random stranger?: No.

Hugged a random stranger?: I don't think so...I would love to though 8D

Been in a fist fight?: xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDd No.

Been arrested?: No.

Done drugs?: Nope.

Had alcohol?: No. D; I've been offered, but I've refused.

Laughed and had something come out of your nose?: Yuck, no D:

Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?: No, what, do I wanna get STUCK in it? D8< Sneaked into the opposite sex's bathroom?: No. Gone to school only to find you had the day off because of a holiday/etc?: xD No, I'm homeschooled. Swore at your parents?: D: Of course not. Kicked a guy where it hurts?: I've been tempted. ;D Been to a casino?: No. Ran over an animal and killed it?: DDD: NO. Gotten stitches?: Yes. Had a water balloon fight in winter?: No, I'd die. And so would my frinds. They're a bunch of wusses. I oughta ship Flash over here from Latvia. Now, I think SHE could have a could water fight. Made homemade muffins?: Not from scratch. Bitten someone?: ...Yes. xD Been to disneyland/disneyworld?: No. Burped in someone’s face?: No, that's just repulsive.

.:¦WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU¦:.

Brushed your teeth: This morning.

Cried: Last night.

Went to the bathroom: I don't know, a couple of hours ago? xD What kind of question is that?

Saw a movie in a theatre: I think the last movie I saw was Twilight.

Read a book: The book I'm currently reading is The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen but the last one I read was Along For the Ride, by Sarah Dessen. xD After the one I'm currently reading, I only have Someone Like You to read and then I've read all her books (Obviously not reading How To Deal, because it's just two of her books put together).

Had a snow day: Last winter.

Had a party: Like, never. xD

Went to a doctor: I don't know. I think it was for my stomach problems.

Tripped in front of someone: Few months ago.

Went to the grocery store: Um...I don't kow. I leave that to the Parental Units.

Got sick: The other day. D: I was all shakey and sore throat, but only for that day.

Got cursed: I hope never.

Called someone: Yesterday.

.:¦DO YOU PREFER¦:.

Fruit/vegetables: Fruit.

Black/white: Black.

Lights on/lights off: Off.

TV/movie: Equal.

Body spray/lotion: EQUALSMEX.

Cash/cheque: Cash.

Pillows/blankets: Blankets and my favorite pillow.

Headache/stomach ache: Stomachache, but I suffer from both a lot.

Paint/charcoal: Never used charcoal, so paint, i guess.

Chinese food/Mexican food: Chinese food.

Summer/winter: Winter.

Snow/rain: Rain.

Fog/misty: Mist is a must. ;D xDD

Rock/rap: Rock.

Meat/vegetarian: Meat. I need mah bacon.

Chocolate/vanilla: Both.

Sprinkles/icing: Icing

Cake/pie: Cake.

Strawberries/blueberries: Both.

Ocean/swimming pool: Swimming pool, so I can set on the edge. 8D I cannot swim.

Cookies/muffins: Cookies.

Wallet/pocket: Neither. I say purse, good man, purse.

Window/door: Door.

Charles Chaplin/Chespirito: Lolwut?

Pink/purple: Pink.

Cat/dog: Both.

Long sleeve/short sleeve: Short sleeves.

Pants/shorts: Pants.

Winter break/spring break: Winter break. It means Christmas is comin'.

Spring/autumn: Spring.

Clouds/clear sky: Clear sky.

Moon/mars: Moon.

Questions/Answers: Answers. I have too many questions.

War/Peace: n/a

.:¦ABOUT YOU¦:. I...

Am: a writer obsessed with music, boys, and books.

Want: Some cream of wheat. OM NOM NOM.

Need: Sleep.

Love: Bella, my favorite pug.

Hate: Pimento cheese spread.

Feel: Tired.

Did: clean my bathroom yesterday (It looks nice and shiny now.

Miss: FLASH. Wish you were here, yo.

Am annoyed by: Math.

Would rather: Go to sleep and get up at 12pm. But this is called "life."

Am tired of: All these ignorant fools around me.

Will always: Have a NASTEH temper.

.:¦MISCELLANEOUS¦:.

What is your favourite genre of music?: Alternative.

What time is it now?: Not late enough. o-o

How much money do you have right now?: None.

Are you hungry right now?: YUS.

What are you doing right now?: This. 8D

Do you like parades?: I guess so. I was more big on them when I was a kid.

Do you like the moon?: Yus.

What are you going to do when you're done with this?: Find another, or read someone else's. xD idk.

If you could have any magical power what would it be?: Um...super awesome special sexy transformation? xD

No, rly though, you would think mindreading, but knowing what everyone thought would just crush my little spirit. So maybe flying or something. xD

.:¦DO YOU THINK YOU ARE¦:.

Funny?: Somtimes.

Cool?: Oh, no, I'm a nerd. ;D

Pretty?: You'd have to ask someone.

Sarcastic?: I inherited that from someone named "Dad."

Lazy?: Yes. xD

Hyper?: Only around my bffs. xD

Friendly?: No.

Evil?: xD Maybe a little?

BC: Whuh?

Me: Sure? xD

Unforgettable?: Depends on what I'm remembered for. xD

Smart?: Sure, why not.

Strong?: No, Im weak. xD I can barely open heavy metal-and-glass doors.

Talented?: Probably not.

Dorky?: I prefer chic-geek. ;o

.:¦WHAT COMES TO MIND WITH THE WORD¦:.

High: The sky.

Lonely: Old memories.

Pen: Stories.

Flower: Cherry blossoms.

Window: Computers. xD

Psycho: Myself, on writer's block. AKA, right now.

Brain freeze: Ice cream.

Strange: Flash. But only in the best ways, dear.

Sassy: Sassylashes, the name of the Ghost Hunter guy's cat. xD And Home Depot, his other cat...

Suffering: My poor back. D:

Art: Flash.

.:¦WOULD YOU EVER¦:.

Sky dive?: Maybe, if I had guts.

Run away?: No.

Curse at a teacher?: No.

Not take a shower for a week?: Yuck D: Of course not.

Ask someone out?: Maybe.

Unscrew your cellphone too see what's inside?: No, I'd never get it together again. xD

Lie to someone to make them think better of you?: No.

Visit a foreign country for more than a month?: Yes. LET'S JAPAN IT, FLASH. Or Latvia it. xD

Go scuba diving?: No, can't swim.

Write a book?: xD I have. Just not published.

Assemble a computer?: No. I might one day. I do have the master as my father.

Become a rock star?: You need some sort of singing talent for that, which I lack.

Have a long-distance relationship?: I have.

Marry someone you don't know?: No.

.:¦LAST QUESTIONS¦:.

What kind of computer do you have?: Windows and it's craptastic Vista.

What grade/level of studies are you in?: HIGHSCHOOL. It fails.

muzak.

2009-10-07T03:39:00.000-07:00

1 . Which Bands/Artist Do You Own The Most Albums By ?

The Jonas Brothers. xD

2 . What Was The Last Song You Listened To ?

Can't Get Enough of You Baby by Smash Mouth.

3 . What's In Your CD Player Right Now ?

Smash Mouth "Astro Lounge."

4 . What Was The Last Show You Attended ?

Last summer, during the Jonas Brothers' Burning Up Tour.

5 . What Was The Greatest Show You've Ever Been To ?

Last summer's show. *pokes above answer* Even though it was huge it was the most fun I've had, going with my best friend and her sister.

6 . What's The Worst Show You've Ever Been To ?

xD; Well, I've only been to Jonas Brothers shows. But maybe the first one because it was so small I got in the first row but I was a total stick in the mud at it. I wisened up by the second concert and started flailing around. xD

7 . What's The Most Musically Involved You Have Ever Been ?

xD WTF?

8 . What Show Are You Looking Forward To ?

I has no moneys to go to a concert.

10 . What Is Your Favorite Band Shirt ?

You guessed it, the pink Jonas Brothers shirt.

11 . What Musician Would You Like To Hang Out With For A Day ?

xD I think we all know where this is going. *Prods Joe Jonas's tush* Oops 8D

12 . Who Is One Musician Or Group You Wish Would Make A Comeback ?

Geez, I don't know.

13 . Who Is One Band/Artist You've Never Seen Live But Always Wanted To ?

ALL TIME LOW/METRO STATION.

14 . Name 4 Or MORE Flawless Albums

All Jonas Brothers albums (xD)

Nothing Personal (All Time Low)

A Day Without Rain (Enya)

Metro Station (Metro Station)

and more 8D

15 . How Many Music Related Videos/DVDs Do You Own ?

None. 8C Unless you count High School Musical 1 & 2 and Camp Rock...but oh! Yeah, I guess the Jonas Brothers Concert Experience would count. *so very lame*

16 . How Many Concerts/Shows Have You Been To , Total ?

Three.

18 . What Is Your Favorite Movie Soundtrack ?

Twilight. 8D

19 . What Was Your Last Musical "Phase" Before You Wisened Up ?

I listened to a lot of country....and liked it D8

20 . What's Your "Guilty Pleasure" That You Hate To Admit To Liking ?

Britney Spears. xD My best friend got me the Circus album for my last birthday.

ULTIMATE OC MEME

2009-09-23T10:42:00.000-07:00

xD My iSister Flash found this, and we decided to do it with our OC couple, Ric and Froze (Ric being my character). But I will be skipping a few questions. xDDD;

BASICS
FULL NAME: Ricford James Hails
MEANING: xD; Well, "Rick" was his father's name, and the Ford brand was his father's favorite brand of truck. They wanted something unique, so they put them together and pronnounced it as "Rick-ferd."
NICKNAME: Ric
MEANING: Because he hates his name xD
ACTUAL AGE: 17/37 (Depending on if we RP them with their kids)
RESIDENCE: A apartment in USA? o3o When he gets married he moves to Japan and becomes a CEO, so then they live in a fancy epichouse.
AGE APPEARANCE: 17/37 xDDD
BIRTHDAY: January 15th
ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Capricorn
SPECIES: Human/shapeshifter (Depends on the RP)
GENDER: Male
ALLERGIES: He's allergic to grapes. xDD
SEXUAL PREFERANCE: xD Females
OCCUPATION: First, he was just an heir to his fortune, but later on his became a CEO and made more money. :3 Like, millionare.
MARITAL STATUS: He got married later on. :3
THEME SONG(S): As Lovers Go by Dashboard Confessional, I Wanna by All-American Rejects, and Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice (Because he's WHITE like that xDDDD)
APPEARANCE: xD Um, see all the following information.
HAIR COLOR: Silvery-white because he dyes it, orange naturally.
HAIR STYLE AND LENGTH: To the middle of his back, and I guess...a chunk over his eye sometimes.
EYES COLOR: Silver with contacts, but naturally green.
EYESIGHT: Poor enough that he had to have glasses, but as previously mentioned, he got colored contacts.
HEIGHT: 5'10
WEIGHT: 148 lbs.
OUTFIT/CLOTHING STYLE: Tight shirts, skinny jeans, omnipresent leather jacket.
ABNORMALITIES(TAIL): xD None. Unless you count dyed hair.
DISTINGUISHING MARKS(SCARS,MOLES): No, I wouldn't say so.
SELF CARE(MAKE UP): Ric does not wear makeup, gosh. :<
FIRST IMPRESSION ON PEOPLE: "WTF?" xD
SKIN COLOR: White
BODY TYPE/BUILD: Thin but still somewhat of a muscle-bag
DEFAULT EXPRESSION: Smiling with a pervy look in his eyes ;D xDDD
POSTURE: Good. Straight. xD
MEASUREMENTS(FEMALE ONLY): xD *skips*
PIERCINGS: None.
DESCRIBE THEIR VOICE: O_O Well, I would say it was past puberty, but not real deep. Just really soothing and always with a happy note in it.
WEAPON OF CHOICE: A spatula >:D

RELATIONSHIPS
MOM: Renee Hails (Her maiden name was Leww)
HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: They got along great, but she's deceased. She died when he was 14.
DAD: Rick Hails
HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: They got along great, too, but he died in the car crash with Ric's mom.
SIBLINGS: Skylar Hails
HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: They have the sibling comraderie. Skylar's always beating him over the head with something. xD
CHILDREN: Rosalyn (Played by Flash) and Austin Hails.
HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Great, except they always come in on him and Froze when they kiss. xD
OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS: His evil uncle, Nicholos Hails. D:<
PAST LOVA(S): xD Kelsey Foster, a bunch of scene, goth, emo girls
CURRENT LOVA: Froze Rempli
REACTION TO MEETING SOMEONE NEW: "OMG HAI I'M RIC :D"
ABILITY TO WORK WITH OTHERS: Very well. He's a CEO, after all.
HOW SOCIABLE(LONER,ETC): Mostly a loner except all those girls he dated.x D
FRIENDS: xD Um, Paul and Dingo.
PETS: I guess Tiff, Froze's cat, became his pet, too, when they got married.
LEAST FAVORITE TYPE OF PERSON: Evil people who are moneygrubbers like his uncle.
PARENTAL TYPE(PROTECTIVE,ETC): Spoiling. :3
AFFINITY WITH...: xD If you mean attraction, that would be Froze.
FAVORITE PEOPLE: Froze Rempli, Paul, Dingo, and probably his friend Hatchet. :o
LEAST FAVORITE PEOPLE: Uncle Nicholas.

PERSONALITY
..WHEN YOU FIRST MEET THEM: "Hey, I'm Ric. It's nice to meet you. :3" xD He would be very happy and friendly. And optimistic.
..AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY LIKE YOU): "Let me cook you something!" Ric cooks for the people he loves and for his close friends and stuff.
..AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY DISLIKE YOU): "OMG GTFO D:<" xDDD Actually, he'd probably just kind ignore you until you went away.
FAVORITE COLOR: Black.
FAVORITE FOOD: Sausage and rice.
FAVORITE ANIMAL: Wolf. xD
FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: Guitar.
FAVORITE ELEMENT: Um, probably air.
FAVORITE REMEMBERED MOMENT IN LIFE: When Froze said yus to marrying him. :3 Or when they had their kids. Before all that, it was probably their first kiss.
LEAST FAVORITE COLOR: Yellow.
LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: Oranges.
LEAST FAVORITE ANIMAL: Spiders. He'll squeal like a little girl.
LEAST FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: Tamborine? xD
LEAST FAVORITE ELEMENT: Earth.
MOST HATED MOMENT IN LIFE: When his parents died.
HOBBIES: Cooking, music
USUAL MOOD: Happy, carefree
DRINK/SMOKE/DRUGS: xD There was that one time, involving mint Mojitos and beer, Skylar's dress and hair barrettes, a bra (Etc.)...xD But that was the last time he had copious amounts of alcohol. No drugs or cigs.
DARK VERSION OF SELF: Emo, moody dude with a toothpick hanging out of his mouth, glaring at the world. Usually he is this dark version when his kids do something stupid. xD
LIGHT VERSION OF SELF: Happy, bouncy, skinny-jeans-wearing lover of Froze. xD
HOW SERIOUS ARE THEY: Half-serious, half-not.
CLASS IN AN RPG: Healer. xD
BELIEVE IN GHOSTS: Yes. His friend was haunted by one, and eventually married her O;...
(IN)DEPENDANT: He depends on Froze for lurve, but he can do everything else himself.
SOFT SPOT/VULNERABILITY:
OPINION ON SWEARING: He doesn't do that stuff. O: Though who knows what he did that one time with the Mojitos.
DAREDEVIL VS CAUTIOUS: In-between.
MUSIC TYPE: Alternative.
MOVIE TYPE: Action with a sprinkle of romance.
BOOK TYPE: Mystery with a dash of romance xD
GAME TYPE: Action with lots of blood and gore.
COMFORTABLE TEMPERATURE: 70 degree weather
SLEEPING PATTERN: He would sleep all day long and all night long if he didn't have an alarm.
CLEANLINESS/NEATNESS: Eh, he doesn't care much either way, but he's not anal.
DESIRED PET: Fish. o3o
HOW DO THEY PASS TIME: Froze. xD And music.
BIGGEST SECRET: xD Um, that he thinks he looks really pretty?
HERO/WHO THEY LOOK UP TO: Paula Deen and Gordon Ramsey. xD But Gordon's cursing is a bit much to handle. (Dude, he acts so gay. xD Poor man)
WHAT ANIMAL WOULD THEY BE: Wolf. His shapeshifter form. xD It used to be a cat.
FEARS: He fears death. And spiders. xD
COMFORTS: Froze, familarity, and his family.
DRUNK TYPE: xDD The type that puts on lady clothes and talks about how pretty he is?
SPECIAL ABILITIES/MAGICS: Shapeshifter into a wolf, sometimes.
HOW DID THEY GET SAID MAGICS: Err...born with it? It skipped a generation in his family.
DONE ANYTHING TO GET IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW: No.
WHICH "7 DEADLY SINS" ARE THEY MOST LIKE: (lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, pride): Pride.
WHICH "7 VIRTUES" DO THEY HAVE: (chastity, abstinence, leberality, diligence, patience, kindness, humility): Patience. xD

WHAT ROLE WOULD THEY BE IF THEY WERE IN...
ROMANCE MOVIE: The goofy-alt guy who wins out in the end.
ACTION MOVIE: The hero who walks away from the explosion with cool sunglasses on and doesn't look back. 3
CARTOON: The one who gets hit with things and pops back up a lot. xD
HORROR MOVIE: The first one to get killed. xD
LABYRINTH: Um...he'd probably be the one who found all the items to get out of the labyrinth because he's smart. xD Unless there was a dude killing people, like in SAW. Then he'd probably end up dying.
PRINCESS BRIDE: He'd be the cross-dressing princess bride. xD And at the end, at the alter with the prince, he'd flip up his veil and go, 'BWAH! You've been Punk'd!' xD And run away. In a wedding dress xD

HOW DO THEY ACT WHEN THEY ARE...
SAD: He mopes around and listens to very emo music.
HAPPY: He's extra pervy. :3 xDDD
ANGRY: He cooks a lot. xD And he bangs things around in the kitchen.
AFRAID: Hide behind Froze.
LOVE SOMEONE: Extra pervy, again? xD
HATE SOMEONE: Ignore them until they went away, while he rolled his eyes and made loud sighs.
WANT SOMETHING: He'd waggle his eyebrows a lot and smile in a perverted way? xDDD
CONFUSED: Furrow his brow and stroke an imaginary beard.

HOW DO THEY REACT TO...
DANGER: He goes all James Bond and then falls on his face.
SOMEONE THEY HATE WHO HAS A CRUSH ON THEM: "Omgnuu D:" And then he might be mean just to prove he hates them. xD
PROPOSAL TO MARRY: If Froze had proposed to him he would've been eastatic, but it was the other way around. xD And Froze was just like, "*Frown* 'Kay, I guess."
DEATH OF LOVED ONE: Lots and lots of manly crying.
DIFFICULT GAME/MATH/ETC: He's good at math, but he's a businessman.
INJURY: He'd act all tough but then try to play the pity card so Froze would take care of him. xD
SOMETHING IRRESISTABLY CUTE: He'd glomp it, like a true man.
LOSS OF HOURS OF WORK: "I hope I don't lose my job...but I suppose I am quite rich. It'll all be okay."

HISTORY
BIOGRAPHY: Here's his...err...Story? xD Or a short thing, whatever.

Ricford James Hails leaned against the window, looking out at the world. He was sitting on the window seat, one of his favorite places, with his long silvery-white hair, reaching to the middle of his back, falling into his face.

He pushed it out of his eyes. And even though it took a lot to take care of it, making him feel slightly like a girl, he did so anyway, as was his style.

He didn't used to dye it, though. Only after his parents had died in that car crash, on their way to pick him up from his first day at high school, finally a freshman, had he started to dye his hair, and that was to rebel against his uncle.

Ric's parents were incredibly wealthy, yet down-to-earth people. They were also rather....creative, and artistic. They had chosen his real name, his full name, "Ricford," by taking his father's name, "Rick," taking off the "K," and adding the "Ford," which was his father's favorite brand of truck, and pronouncing it, "Rick-ferd."

Needless to say, he'd always made sure to go by Ric.

But when his parents died, he was sent to live with his uncle, a terribly cruel man obsessed with wealth. He wanted the good things in life, and because Ric was under eighteen when his parents died, through laws and different factors, his uncle had gotten his money to whittle away, while he left Ric unattended, yet determined to cut his hair.

Ric rebelled by, one day, happening across dye that wasn't gray, but silvery-white. He dyed his hair, found a real-leather jacket (On sale, even), started wearing skinny jeans and tight clothes, and even worked out to give his muscles definition.

But one day, he found out, through his uncle finding it, that he had a half-sister named Skylar that his mother had birthed, out of wedlock, before she met his father. He was shocked to meet her, and even more shocked that she had been given up for adoption.

Skylar was given her name before the adoption, though, and once her adoptive parents found out she had a half-brother, they wondered if it were best to not just send her to her uncle, where she could live with him and her real family.

When Ric met Skylar Wicke (The adoptive last name, which she later changed to Hails), they hit it off, bonding instantly, feeling like they had known each other their whole life; the closest of siblings. They were quite similar, Ric being slightly emo and Skylar being full-on scenester, but though the siblings wanted to live together, Ric urged her to stay with her adoptive parents because the evil of their uncle. She agreed, but convinced her adoptive parents to let her switch schools to Bacardia High School, where Ric was going.

In Ric's senior year, even though he was only seventeen (He had been able to skip a grade because of his intellectual talents), he moved out of his uncle's mansion, and sued him for what was left of Ric's money, and to replace the money he had used, as well. His uncle had invested in stocks and was now quite the rich man, and when Ric won the case, he grudgingly handed it over, wanting nothing more to do with him.

One day -in Ric's senior year, once again- he meet Deneve "Froze" Rempli, a girl of French decent with a rather crazy attitude. She was arrogant, stick-thin, and not much on the friendly side. Ric fell in love at first sight, though he had never believed in such a thing as love at first sight before.

He somehow convinced the...unique...girl to become his girlfriend, and eventually his wife. They had two kids, twins, Rosalyn and Austin, though Froze was not sure about either situation, the marriage or the children.

Ric had been able to convince Froze of a lot of things, and now, he was finally happy because of it. And he realized, even if he had never gotten the money, if he would've only gotten Froze, he would've lived his life just as happily.

Because the key was Froze. The key to his heart, to clear away the darkness and guilt he felt about his parents. The key to the loneliness. The key to his very life and soul itself, was this one woman.

And as he reflected back on his past, staring out the window, he had no idea that Froze and his twins were watching him, wondering what he was thinking about, but unable to interrupt him with such a peaceful look in those silvery eyes.
FIRST APPEARANCE: In my book? Chapter 9 (But I need to do editing.) In the RP? Well, the very first post? xD

KNOWLEDGE
LANGUAGES: English, Japanese, and French. O: (xD I only know English, durr, and a few Japanese words.)
SCHOOLING LEVEL: He went to college a few years later and got a PH.d.

FAVORITE SUBJECT: Choir xD
INTERESTED CAREERS: Business
EXPERTICE: In business? Very well. That was his major in college. He studied cooking as his minor.
PUZZLES: They frustrate him but he can do it.
CHEMISTRY: Poor.
MATH: Excellent.
ENGLISH: Good.
GEOGRAPHY: Excellent

POLITICS/LAW: Excellent.

ECONOMY/ACCOUNTING: Excellent.

COOKING: Excellent
SEWING: Fail
MECHANICS: Fail.
BOTANY (FLOWERS): Fail.
MYTHOLOGY: Excellent.
DRAMATICS(ACTING,SINGING): Excellent.
READING LEVEL: Um, adult level? xD I don't know.
HOW GOOD ARE THEY AT PLANNING AHEAD: Terrible. D; Except when he planned to knock up Froze with their children.
IMPULSIVE/STRATEGY: He can strategize a good plan sometimes. xD

ROMANCE
HOW DO THEY ACT(SHY,ETC): Bold? xD
GENTLEMAN/LADYLIKE VS KLUTZY: Gentleman.
GO SLOW VS JUMP INTO: He had to go slow with Froze.
TRUE LOVE VS TESTING DIFF PEOPLE: True love.
PROTECTIVE: Yes.
ACT LIKE FRIENDS OR LOVERS: Lovers.
WHAT KIND OF PRESENTS DO THEY BUY: Jewely and CDs. xD
TYPE OF KISSER: Passionate? xD
DO THEY WANT KIDS: Had them, later on.
DO THEY WANT TO MARRY: Married, later on.
MAKE GOOD OR BAD DECISIONS: xD 50/50.
ARE THEY ROMANTIC: Yes.
GET JEALOUS EASY: Yes.
WIFE/HUBBY BEATER: No. xD
MARRY FOR MONEY: No.
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN ON THEIR DREAM DATE: He would cook dinner, watch a movie, and walk along the beach? xD

*Some questions were removed xD

Nommin' ur brains while I suck ur blood while I kick ur bum with mah horse hooves

2009-09-16T19:29:00.000-07:00

Centaur:
[x] You are rather wild, and let your instincts run you.
[ ] You get drunk a lot.
[ ] Bravery and boldness is second nature to you.
[x] You have a deep love for astronomy and the universe.
[x] You like to read your daily horoscope.
[x] You have a high level of pride in yourself. (Someteimes. .__.)
[ ] In the woods is the best place for you to be.
[x] You are spiritual.
[ ] The horse is your favorite animal.
[x] You are possessive and territorial.
Total: 6

Elf:
[ ] Your ears are slightly pointed at the tips.
[x] You are very intelligent. (I'd like to think so. xDD)
[ ] Your five senses are extremely keen.
[ ] Your weight is quite a bit lighter than the average person at your particular height.
[ ] You always wear elegant clothes and speak as politely as possible.
[x] You are most at peace when you are gazing at something beautiful, like nature. (Forget nature. Put in "computer screen." xDD)
[ ] You look very young for your age.
[ ] You rarely get sick.
[ ] You are a very hard worker.
[x] Above all other superpowers, you would love to read minds or see the future. (I don't know about this one...I don't know if I'd like what I would find.)
Total: 3

Fairy:
[ ] You are happy a lot of the time.
[ ] The best superpower to you would be to fly.
[x] You are very shy.
[ ] You love the forest and plant life in general.
[ ] You are always willing to help others, even if you might not be the best to offer aid.
[ ] You are young and short.
[ ] Dancing is one of your favorite pastimes.
[x] If someone ticks you off, you are very clever with getting them back.
[x] Your clothing isn't always presentable, but you are comfortable with what you wear.
[x] Circles are a wonderful symbol of unity to you.
Total: Aww, only 4 D;

Gnome/Dwarf:
[ ] You are excellent with crafts and handiwork.
[x] In social situations, you tend to be a little awkward.
[ ] You are short for your age.
[x] You are an isolationist. (In real life, I guess. xD)
[ ] You love to play practical jokes on people.
[x] You are extremely fascinated with jewelry. (I have a lot of it 8D)
[x] You look older than your age. (I've been mistaken for eighteen. xD)
[ ] You love the woods and the mountains.
[ ] You are well off, or come from a family that is well off.
[x] You have a short temper.
Total: 5

Harpy/Siren:
[ ] You are best at talking bad about people behind their backs and not to their face.
[ ] When you are annoyed, you will go to a great extent to torment whoever did so to you.
[ ] You often take things that aren't yours.
[x] You are easily angered.
[ ] Death fascinates you.
[x] You are female, or a feminine-looking man.
[ ] You associate yourself with the wind element.
[x] You can switch quickly between your light and dark side.
[ ] You love to trick others.
[x] You have a ravenous appetite.
Total: 4

Mermaid:
[ ] You love the beach more so because of the water than the shore itself.
[x] Fish are some of the most beautiful creatures to you. (I used to have some pretty ones.)
[ ] The ultimate superpower to you would be to breathe underwater.
[ ] You enjoy looking at ships, but not riding them, as well as you like ships for traveling, not hunting in the sea.
[ ] You are good at swimming.
[x] You like to collect shells.
[x] You use sea items as jewelry or decoration.
[ ] You enjoy learning about the ocean and the life inside it.
[ ] You are extremely against ocean pollution, and someday, perhaps (if you haven't already), you will work to stop that.
[ ] Legs on land are not as important as a fin in the sea.
Total: 3

Vampire:
[x] You're a night person.
[ ] You have a fascination with blood.
[x] You are extremely pale.
[ ] You wish you had a bat as a pet.
[ ] You are not religious at all.
[x] Tight spaces are not scary or uncomfortable for you.
[x] The sun's glare annoys you all too often.
[ ] You hate food with lots of garlic in it.
[x] To you, a kiss on the neck is more romantic than a kiss on the cheek or lips.(xD It actually depends, really.)
[x] You don't like sharp objects near you. (Haha, yeah.. ;S)
Total: 6

Werewolf:
[x] The full moon is the most beautiful scene to you.
[ ] You have a lot of body hair.
[ ] The ability to shapeshift is the best superpower to you.
[ ] You prefer gold over silver items.
[x] You lack self control.
[x] You find it easier to have sympathy for animals than for humans.
[x] You have a deep respect for wolves and wild dogs.
[x] You like to be alone. (Depends, again xD)
[ ] You have a terrible secret and you only tell people you trust 100% about it.
[ ] You'd rather be outdoors than indoors.
Total: 5

Wizard/Witch:
[] You love chemistry.
[x] You are intuitive and good at analyzing people, to the point that people seriously or jokingly say you're psychic.
[x] The most amazing supernatural power to you is controlling the elements.
[ ] You are a nature lover.
[ ] You have a strong sense of responsibility (you use your talents positively).
[x] You spent a lot of time alone.
[ ] You usually hang around with a certain animal all the time when you feel lonely.
[ ] You are spiritual, but not necessarily religious.
[ ] Cooking is one of your favorite things to do.
[ ] You enjoy learning about Wicca and the occult.
Total: 3

Zombie:
[x] You are pale
[x] You are hungry a lot.
[x] Many activities you do every day make you feel mindless, or like a drone.
[x] Most of the time you or a part of you is cold.
[x] You love to eat meat.
[ ] You would resort to cannibalism if that was the only source of food.
[ ] You make grunts and moans a lot.
[ ] You enjoy learning about psychology because you study the brain.
[x] You usually walk slow.
[ ] You are not afraid of seeing a lot of blood or getting a lot of blood on yourself.
Total: 6

xDDDD I guess I'm a centuar, zombie, or vampire. xD Lovely.

100 Truths

2009-09-16T11:42:00.001-07:00

001. Name - D: Can't tell my real one, sorry. 99 truths? xD
002. Nickname - Merz/Mercedes/Merce, etc.
003. Status - If you're talking relationships, single. If you're talking mood, apathetic. xDDD No, not really, actually, my mood is..."fine" I guess?
004. Zodiac sign- Aquarius.
005. Male or female - Female.
006. Elementary - xD Passed the elementary school mark in my life.
007. High School - In this terrible pit of doom right now.
008. College - Will go there. ;D To which one, I don't know. But I'm majoring in journalism, minoring in politics, and taking a class in Asian studies, among my other crap. xD
009. Smart - I've been told that before. xD
010. Hair color - Blonde.
011. Long or short - Short.
012. Loud or Quiet - Quiet around most people because I'm shy, but around the people I know the best I'm loud.
013. Sweats or Jeans – Jeans.
014. Phone or Camera - Camera phone? o;
015. Health freak - Absolutely not. xD
016. Drink or Smoke? - Neither.
017. Do you have a crush on someone? - Yes.
018. Eating or Drinking - Eating. xDD
019. Piercings - Yes. Three in one ear, two in the other. xD I wanted a fourth one for the ear, up higher, but it would've been too painful for me to handle, I'm sure. xD
020. Tattoos - Heck no. I can't even think of anything I'd want for the rest of my life. And I can't stand needles. I literally get woozy at the sight of it, or of blood (In real life, not the movies. xD)

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing - Ears.
024. First best friend - Um...a girl named Candie. Long ago.
025. First award - xD Oh jeez. Something my parents printed out for me being a good student? Something lame like that.
026. First crush - xD Celebrity, my first *srsfais* one was Jesse McCartney. In real life, this one dude I pined after that I saw at a festival. xD
027. First pet – Snickerdoodle. Still have him, too. D: Old cat is old. (Notrly. He's, like, nine or something)
028. First big vacation - To New Orleans, I'd say.
030. First big birthday – Um...I can't remember. Might've been ten. But the only reason it was big is because it was the only birthday party I ever had. xD Only family, too. It's sad.

CURRENTLY:
049. Eating - Last thing I ate was some Asian stir fry. Or something like that. xD It was Asian, i know.
050. Drinking - Last thing I drank was water.
052. I'm about to - Reply to a roleplay post with Flash? xD
053. Listening to - L Theme B
054. Plans for today - Going to Youth Group after RP'ing with Flash for awhile

YOUR FUTURE:
058. Want kids? – Oh, no. No, no, no, please no.
059. Want to get married? - Yes. 8D
060. Careers - Journalist to make money while I write mah novels. So, ultimately, novelist.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH OPPOSITE SEX?
068. Lips or eyes - Eyes. But lips are important for quite a few things. xD
070. Shorter or taller? – Taller. ;3
072. Romantic or spontaneous - Romantic.
073. Nice stomach or nice arms - I like more of the lanky type, but I guess manchest. xDDDD
074. Sensitive or loud - Sensitive. x3
075. Hook-up or relationship - Relationship only.
077. Troublemaker or hesitant - Hesitant. xDD

HAVE YOU EVER:
080. Lost glasses/contacts - No.
081. Ran away from home - No.
084. Broken someone's heart - Once.
085. Been arrested - No.
087. Cried when someone died – Yes. .__.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself - Once in awhile. xD
090. Miracles – Yes. I've witnessed it.
091. Love at first sight – No.
092. Heaven - Yes.
093. Santa Claus - No.
094. Sex on the first date - O_O Ew, no.
095. Kiss on the first date - Probably not. A nice warm hug, though, would be nice.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now – Yes.
o98. Are you really happy with where you are in life? - No, not really.
099. Do you believe in God - Yes.
100. Post and tag whoever. - xDD Anyone. Or steal it, like I did. :D

2009-09-15T17:11:00.000-07:00

1) First list all your OC’s by first name so we can see your list of all your wonderful OC’s.
Will only list ten because I have too many. @_@
Ric, Skylar, Austin, Atone, Corinna, Rita, Audree and Auden, Hatchet, and Justice.

2) Who is your favorite OC?
Err...probably caught in a three-way tie between my bishies Hatchet and Ric, and then the cute little scenester, Skylar.

3) Who is your least favorite?
xD Um, maybe Austin, but only because he's a wimp and I don't play him much.

4) Who is your most developed?
Ric, for sure.

5) Which OC would you want to date if they magically came to life?
Ric, Atone, and Hatchet. xD So, basically, all of them except Auden, because I think he wouldn't be serious enough.

6) How many girl OCs do you have? Boy OCs? It OCs?
Five guys, five girls. o3o

8) Name one thing you regret about one of your OCs.
Auden is maybe a bit too 'LOLGUISE' all the time. xD

9) Which of your OCs do you think would make the best father/mother/it parent out of all your OCs and why?
Ric is already a dad, so yeah, I guess he's a good father. xD

10) Which of your OCs do you think will most likely be put in jail?
Justice. xD Maybe Hatchet, but he's stays on the DL. ;x

11) The seventh of your OCs was put into the future! What will their job be?!?
xD Audree? She would probably be a cook, because that's what she's studying to be now, at Blanchard U. ;3 *made up college FTW ;o*

13) Do all your OCs live together or are they separated?
Oh, mai, they couldn't all live together. xD Skylar and Ric used to because they're half-siblings, but she took off when she was eighteen, leaving the poor Ricster. But Austin lives with Ric because he's his son (And Aussie's mother, Froze, who is not my character xD). Atone lived with his wife Honor (My chara), and his kids, Justice and Mercy (Mercy was not actually his. She was Honor's. xD;), but Justice kinda killed Honor and Atone...xDD And then Mercy killed Justice, then herself...etc...But Corinna and Rita live together in a dorm room, and so do Audree and Auden in a co-ed room. Hatchet's a drifter, he's by himself. xD

14) Are there any pairings that are in your OC list? (they can’t be with someone else's)
Justice's ghost and Hatchet kinda had a thing but not really. xD

15) Your sixth OC switched bodies with you for a day! How will they react at the end of the day?
xD Oh, jeez. Rita would starve me because she's an anorexic. She would also give me carpal tunnel from all the sketching she does all day. xD In her body, I would be flirting like crazy and making her look stupid, and then I would nom everything in sight and make her fat. 8D

16) Your last OC just became a fifteen year old. What do they do?
xD Be all like "WTF? D:<" and start killing people and crapz.

17) Now randomly select a person on your OC list. Who was it?
Atone.

18) That OC you just chose? Yeah they think they are superman (even if they are a girl) and are on the roof about to jump off.
Atone: Psh. *snort* I would not do something so utterly ignorant. Are you mad?
Me: *pushes him off* Yer dead anyway ;D

19) Are any of your OCs bored of this meme?
Atone's P.O.'d and Justice is about ready to slice me up, or the one who made the meme. Audree's getting agitated. ;D

20) Would your second OC prefer the beach or the mountains?
Skylar would want the beach. ;D So she could show off her hot bod in a bikini.

21) Would your third OC battle a shark?
xD No. He would hide and beg for his daddy (Because his mom would tell him to man-up...in a slightly less nicer way. xD)

22) Which OCs hate each other?
Ric doesn't hate anyone. Skylar doesn't hate them, either. Austin's too afraid to hate anyone. xD Atone hates everyone but somehow still loves his daughter, Justice. Corinna doesn't give a crap. Rita doesn't really care either way. Audree dislikes Skylar, but Auden loves everyone. Hatchet doesn't really care, either, except he kinda thinks Justice is cute. Justice hates everyone except maybe Hatchet.

23) Which OC did you create first? And last?
Ric = first. Hatchet = last.

25) And if those two were fighting, who would win?
Hatchet probably. ;D He would slice up shapeshifter-Ric.

26) Are your OCs fat or skinny?
Skinny. xD

27) What are your first 2 OC's favorite foods?
Ric loves sausage and rice while Skylar really loves peanut M&Ms.

28) If your listed OCs were in a fight to the death, who would emerge victorious?
Justice. xD She's a killing machine. And Hatchet, because he would be on her side.

29) There's a zombie attack and your OCs are stranded. Who do they elect to be their leader?
Justice, because she can cut a zombie.

30) During said zombie attack, who's the first to die?
Austin. D; Poor baby.

Quiz

2009-09-13T15:30:00.000-07:00

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion		50%
Stability		10%
Orderliness		10%
Accommodation		23%
Intellectual		20%
Interdependence		80%
Mystical		90%
Materialism		50%
Narcissism		10%
Adventurousness		10%
Work ethic		10%
Conflictseeking		90%
Need to dominate		80%
Romantic		90%
Avoidant		70%
Anti-authority		90%

Wealth		10%
Dependency		80%
Change averse		90%
Cautiousness		20%
Individuality		70%
Sexuality		10%
Peter pancomplex		50%
Histrionic		90%
Vanity		80%
Artistic		90%
Hedonism		10%
Physicalfitness		10%
Religious		90%
Paranoia		60%
Hypersensitivity		10%
Indie		10%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality test by similarminds.com

Trait Snapshot:

messy, irritable, depressed, fragile, worrying, emotionally sensitive, does not like to lead, phobic, weird, suspicious, low self control, paranoid, frequently second guesses self, dependent, unproductive, introverted, weak, strange, unassertive, submissive, familiar with the dark side of life, feels invisible, rash, vain, anti-authority, heart over mind, low self concept, disorganized, not good at saving money, avoidant, daydreamer, unadventurous

Stability results were very low which suggests you are extremely worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were very low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were medium which suggests you are moderately talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting.

xDDD Flash is right. I do sound like an emo kid that needs a hug.

xD And I'm smarter than 20%. :3 I'd like to think so.

More Updates

2009-09-09T11:03:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Glee on TV
Feeling: Happy/nervous

Well, I found a new guy to like at church. He's cute and around my age, and I don't know if he likes me, or thinks I'm cute, but he's adorable. x3 Here's to hoping everything goes well, and I'll post more later.

Updates

2009-09-03T08:38:00.000-07:00

Listening To: The Ninja Glare by nigahiga

Mood: Satisfied O:

Just made myself a fried bologna sandwich, which my own mother won't even try. D: It hurts me. It tastes really awesome. But she never tries the food I make anyway. Ever. >3> Dad doesn't really, either.

Anyway, my phone did get there, all those days ago, but it only took two hours to charge, which made be ooze happiness all over the house. And I bouoght a Hello Kitty phone case on eBay...FROM HONG KONG. I will have a little piece of HONG KONG in my hands. *_* It said it would take 7-15 business days. It's been, like, four days. I'm hoping it'll come sooner than later. xD But it's really cute, though, so I'm trying to keep my patience.

Also, I can do the Ninja Glare hand move, but really slowly. xD I'm so white. ♥

Let's see...what else?

Listening To: Trouble by NeverShoutNever

Reminds me of how single I am (The song). D:

But anyway, I don't think there's anything much to talk about except I drew a couple of Japanese lolita girls (A couple of my original characters, use for my stories/books/roleplaying), Fuyu and Ritsuko. xD I can't even remember Fuyu's last name, though; she's a new character I just developed, like Skylar.

Listening To: Janedoe by NeverShoutNever

This is such a sweet song. ♥

I don't think there's much left to talk about, except I'm thinking of making Skylar my other character's long-lost sister (The character? Ricford "Ric" Hails. Ric is actually in my Sacrifice trilogy + The Path adjoining novelette, but his character is not really the same, so I might have to replace him with someone else so I can use him for something other than my roleplays).

Aww, Eli (yorkie) just squished himself over next to me, all, boyfriend-casually-putting-his-arm-over-your-shoulder-at-the-movies style. xD I think he thinks he's my boyfriend or something.

I love you, Eli, but not like that yo. D:

Listening To: Come Back Over by ReinaDelCid

I wish I could play guitar. And sing well. xD I can sing, and I guess I'm either terrible or okay, depending on who you ask. But apparently I sing very well in Japanese, and don't sound like myself. The problem is that I never sound bad to myself. xDD

Oh! Yeah, my aunt and cousin tried to set me up with this immature dork. My cousin dragged me to her house to her pool and dragged him there, and I swear he looked like he was about to faint when he saw me.

Listening To: Stairwell (Cover) by ReinaDelCid

He texted me like crazy on the way back home, asking me to be his girlfriend, calling me, all kinds of stupid things. He's some kind of stalker. O_O Because, apparently, the first date was me, my cousin, and him at her pool. Oh dear fudge.

Of course I said no to the girlfriend request, and when he and my cousin tried to set me and him up for a date next Friday, I called and told him I just wanted to be friends (I should've said I wanted no contact with him, because he's always texting me, asking what I'm doing and stuff. It's creepy).

He was not happy, but he said okay.

And now, he texted me, saying that we should go out again. I was like "Lol yeah you're my FRIEND and I still know nothing about u except that u mow lawns." FRIEND, you dork.

Let's meet up as FRIENDS.

And even that is a stretch. He's more like a stalker acquaintance.

Gee whiz.

Dad says I'm officially a heartbreaker now, though. So I got a title.

Anime Meme

2009-08-27T13:32:00.000-07:00

For the record, are you a male or female?

Female.

Your first favourite anime character? Do you have a picture?
xD I know. I was so unoriginal. EVERYONE loves Pikachu. I still do.

What anime is he/she from?

Pokemon. xD And every other Pokemon series it branched off into.

Why do you like him/her?

xD Well, he's darn adorable and he's fiesty. xD He always wins, and he didn't take the oppertunity to turn into Raichu (Though by now, honestly, he should be a Raichu) with the stone because he's happy with himself and he's all-powerful and crap. xD

Name your favourite eye-hair colour combination.

Um...orange and brown, maybe?

Does an anime character fit that colour combination?

Raito Yagami, I guess. His hair is kinda brown though. He's hot, but I'm on L's side. Oh! And the Hitachiin Twins. They're mega hot. *drools*

Name your most hated anime character.

Most hated...I don't know. O_O I really can't think of anyone I seriously dislike. xD I'll say Eclair from Ouran, for being such and acer and trying to take Tamaki away.

If you could do anything to him/her, what would you do?

Err...backhand her. xD

What was the first anime you watched?

Pokemon, I'm pretty darn sure. xD I was really young, though.

Name your favourite anime, and state why

Probably a tie between Death Note and Ouran High School Host Club.

Do you prefer shounen or shojo anime?

Shojo. Anime for girls. Because I am a girl.

Which anime character influenced you in some way, or changed your mindset?

Probably Tamaki from Ouran High School Host Club. xD I'm all *corner of woe* xD I for sure think I'm the smex. I'm like him, but girl version. xD But I was like that before, too. But I've recently aquired my own corner of woe. xD

Make a list of your top 10 favourite anime characters.
I have no order, here. x D
1. L Lawliet
2. Hitachiin Twins (They count as one xD)
3. Kyo Sohma
4. Misa Amane
5. Tamaki Suoh
6. Ichigo Momomiya
7. Berry Shirayuki
8. Jolteon
9. Night Tenjo
10. Ren Maaka

What superpowers does 6 have?
Um...the power to turn into Mew Ichigo. :-D

Would you like to date 9?
xD Err, he's a robot, but he is hot...

What would be a typical birthday gift from 3?
He'd probably make me a dinner or something while being very awkward about the whole thing. xD Like he did for Tohru when she was sick.

Where would 7 bring you out on a date?
xD We wouldn't be going out on a date, because we're both girls.

Is 1 studious/clever?
Yes. The supersmart private dectective of smexyness.

Which one describes 4 the best: quiet/energetic/cute/handsome/plain/talented/arrogant/sexy/thoughtful? (And only one!!)
Cute! Misa-Misa is adorable.

What colour do you think fits 8?
Probably yellow or orange. Electric colors.

Does 10 play any musical instruments?
I don't know a lot about him. xD But I don't think so.

How heroic is 2?
Probably somewhat. xD They're just into mischeif, but they are hosts, after all.

If 5 died what would you do?
D: I would probably cry. Tamaki is the bomb.

Which anime character's response would you really like to read?
L Lawliet. xD Probably something along the lines of "I'm honored." xD

Early Morning Bloggin'

2009-08-26T02:37:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Little Things by Pomplamoose

Mood: Tired & Sick

I haven't been able to sleep.

AT. ALL. TONIGHT.

Well, now, it's early morning, I suppose.

My dad hasn't even left for work yet.

THAT'S HOW EARLY IT IS.

I think I'm getting a cold or something, because along with sore/heavy neck and head, my throat is really dry and a little sore, and I feel hot. And like I said, no sleep. At all.

So after lying in the dark all that time, I got up and looked through some of my art stuff I've done, and realized I lost my Atone Saradon bookmark and Hikaru Hitachiin bookmark that I made. I have no idea where they are.

And I can't really care at the moment.

Listening To: Don't Trust Me (Cover) by Julia Nunes

So when it got early/late enough for me to actually be up and turn the light on (A.K.A., now), I wrote a parody song (Parody of Party In the USA by Miley Cyrus, though I'm ashamed to say I actually like that song), and figured out the full name of the main character of my new book (And a possible title, Fall and Rise of the Faebloods, along with some beginning plot info), which is Princess Pankine Anne LaRaudia. Oh, yes. Yes, it is. She's a earthversion Faeblood, and I will explain later.

So, I don't know if you guys have heard about an art thing called a paper child, but I made a very crappy one of L Lawliet and a giant piece of chocolate cake with a strawberry the other day. Very flimsy because I just use regular paper. Well, I made one of Pankine, and it is ah-dorable. Will post pictures later once I get to my pink laptop.

I mean, I don't have artsy talent, but I think it's incredibly cute.

My phone is on it's way and is supposed to be here by 3:00pm. I'm excited. :D

Once it gets here, I have to charge it for *insert obscene amount of time here*, then dad can set it up. Then I will mow down whoever is in my path as I sprint out the door and run across the street to show my best friend.

We like purple, but it's not our favorite color. xD

And now we'll both have purple phones. Her's is purple and white though, and it's not the Rival.

Well, I think I'm going to go try to go to sleep now, and maybe turn on the ceiling fan.

It's really, really early.

Really.

This Is How You Remind Me

2009-08-25T12:05:00.000-07:00

Listening To: About A Girl - The Academy Is...

Current Mood: Pain (Is that an mood? xD)

I was reading one of the newer blogs on my SCSBL (Stone Cold Smexy Blogs List), You Say Title? I Say Rawr., and she was listing songs on her iPod that remind her of her friends or people she knows, something like that, and I think I'm going to do that in this post or sometime soon.

The "Mood: Pain" thing, is my eyes. They feel strained and they really hurt, and the back of my head and neck hurt, too; they all feel really sore and heavy. I feel like crap.

And I'm going a NEW. FREAKIN'. PHONE. *squee* It's the purple Rival from Verizon Wireless (Click on the link for a picture of what it looks like). Dad ordered it last night with free 2-day shipping, so it'll be here in my ebil little hands very soon. *rubs palms together* I'm very excited, as you can see, and I'll be getting unlimited texting on September 13th if all goes well.

Found another band to add to my Favorites List: Stereo Skyline. Sounds like a lovechild from Metro Station and some other band...maybe slightly like Owl City? I don't know. Sounds maybe like techno but I think they're American power-pop.

Getting really into Sarah Dessen books lately. Every single thing I've read from her has been awesome, and that's rare. Usually, I might like a few, but I don't like all of them. Sarah has broken that streak (I do like the whole Twilight Saga, but I haven't read The Host yet, so we'll see). You can check What I'm Currently Reading in the sidebar to see which one I'm on now and on my Profile to see which ones I have read. Of all the Sarah books I've read, This Lullaby is the best. Go Dex!

Listening To: Presume Too Much by Merz

That's right! I actually found a band that has my nickname. They seem pretty cool. I think they're electro-folk? There's so many genres. xD It's not just metal, rock, country, pop, and techno (and what have you) anymore. xD Now it's all that plus screamo, foreign songs, ska, sugar pop, folk, electronic/techno, emo, etc. There's a lot. Oh, and one of my faves: Alternative. <3

Listening To: The Perfect Scene by Mercy Mercedes

So there's two possible bands to add to my Favorites List: Mercy Mercedes (Mercedes being one of my other nicknames and Mercy the name of one of my characters xD That's why I clicked on the band and was like, "Oh! Cool") and Merz.

I'm not sure what else to put in this post, so I'll just post the little How You Remind Me songs soon.

Books

2009-08-21T12:23:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Flora's Secret by Enya

Feeling: Stomach ache/joy

Well, I wrote four books. xD Or, maybe, novelettes, they might be called. One is 30,000 and some words, the other is 21,000 and some words, the third is 12,000 and some words, and the fouth is 7,000 and some words, all in the same series, kinda. I'm thinking of combining them all into one book, ya know, when I self publish it.

Now I'm writing on something called "David and Juliet," and it's not a fantasy this time, so I probably won't get too far. xD I love real-life romance, but I think I write better in fantasy romance, maybe? I don't know.

If you're wondering where I've been, I was grounded, again. xD Because of course I can't stay out of trouble for ten seconds. Hopefully going to change that after, oh, what, a month?

I'll be jaunting off to go watch numerous YouTube videos and chat with my friends; I got one, Jade, to join. I'm following her blog so it'll be on my Blogs List, so I'd appreciate it if you checked it out (Even though she called me a turd D:<).

MORE MEME 8D

2009-07-21T04:01:00.000-07:00

RULES:1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense. NO CHEATING!
4. Bold the questions and with the answers, give your own comments on how it relates to the questions.

1. How are you feeling today?
Get Out - Mitchel Musso
[xD I can't remember a lot of the music I've put on here.]
2. Will you get far in life?
The Wind Blows - All-American Rejects
[The wind shall blow me along.]
3. How do your friends see you?
Passion - Utada Hikaru
[Passionate? xD]
4. Will you get married?
Year of the Cure - Lights
[Completely unrealated. xD]
5. What is your best friend's theme song?
How Do You Sleep? - Jesse McCartney
[xD I seriously doubt it.]
6. What is the story of your life?
Back In Black - AC/DC
pI'm always dissapearing and then popping back up, but I'm usually in pink. xD]
7. What was high school like?
Bike Theif - Freezepop
pxD Still in high school, but this is also unrealated.]
8. How can you get ahead in life?
Let Go - Boys Like Girls
[Let go of yer troubles, I guess. Something I can never do xD]
9. What is the best thing about your friends?
Hasta La Vista - Jordan Francis & Roshon Fegan
[xD Saying goodbye? I don't think so. <3]
10. What is in store for this weekend?
Can't Stop - Red Hot Chili Peppers
[I'll probably obsess and dissect every detail of the movie and my crush and etc.]
11. To describe your grandparents?
Believe - Breaking Benjamin
[? XD]
12. How is your life going?
Into H*ll's Mouth We March - Vanna
[Another unheard song. And I can tell I probably won't. xD It's screamo.]
13. What song will they play at your funeral?
Pessimist - TAT
[Haven't heard this either.]
14. How does the world see you?
Comatose - Skillet
[I do act that way, sometimes. Distant, cold. .__. It's like a defense mechanism.]
15. Will you have a happy life?
Born Dead - Silverstein
pxD Haven't heard this one either but the title is not promising in regards to the question.]
16. What do your friends really think of you?
I Am So Sick - Flyleaf
[O_O]
17. Do people secretly lust after you?
Hey There Delilah (Remix) - K.O. ft Plain White Ts
[8D]
18. How can I make myself happy?
Paperback Writer - The Beatles
[DEAD ON. Become a writer.]
19. What should you do with your life?
Dear Hannah - Metro Station
[xD Unrealted.]
20. Will you ever have children?
Those Words Are Not Enough - Relient K
[I sure hope not. x.x]
21. I refuse to answer this one, so...yeah. xD
:c
22. If a man in a van offered you candy, what would you do?
Untouched - the Veronicas
[Oh yah. I'd leave it untouched, untouched. But I want it so much. <3 xD]
23. What does your mom think of you?
Fireflies - Owl City
[I'ma bug? TT^TT At least I'm a cute one.]
24. What is your deep dark secret?
Swimming In Miami - Owl City
[? I don't think it's a secret that I'd rather be somewhere else besides here, but I'm not in Miami.]
25. What is your mortal enemy's theme song?
So Cold - Breaking Benjamin
[O_O]
26. What's your personality like?
Nrrd Grrl - m.c. chris
[Dead. Freaking. On. xD About the nerd part. But I'm a bit different.]
27. Which song will be played at your wedding?
You Are the One - Shiny Toy Guns
[Aww! How precious!]
28. If you were to become the Dictator of a small Eastern-European nation, would you be a benevolent Dictator?
Appreciate - Nick Jonas
[o.o I guess not]
29. What are your aspirations?
I Think That the World - The Bouncing Souls
[Never heard it.]
30. What goes through your head when you wake up?
You're Not Sorry (C.S.I. Remix) - Taylor Swift
[You're not sorry...that you woke me up. xD]

More Meme-ness

2009-07-21T03:48:00.001-07:00

Listening To: Blur by Britney Spears

Feeling: Same as last post O:

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?

Be Like That - 3 Doors Down

["I would give anything, just to live one day there, in his shoes." ?]

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

I Never Wanted (Radio Mix) - As I Lay Dying

[Never heard it.]

WHAT IS LIFE'S PURPOSE?

Ashita no Te - Noto Mamiko

[I can't even remember what it says. xD]

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

Noel - All Time Low

[:D I can't remember this song very well.]

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Futari no Xenopittan - Xenosaga

[xDDDDD I'm fudging OBSESSED with this song lately. I'll just go around going, "Xeno, ah, a xenopittan!" xD]

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Air Traffic - Owl City

[Ohemgee I love my Owl City. <3]

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

Use Somebody - Kings of Leon

[...?]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Rain (2005 version) - Breaking Benjamin

[My online best friend is actually obsessed with this song.]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Styrofoam Plates - Death Cab For Cutie

[xD Poor guy.]

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

I Am So Sick - Flyleaf

[...]

WHAT SONG WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR WEDDING?

Light the Way - All Time Low

[x3]

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

Video Girl (Live) - Jonas Brothers

[D:<]

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST??

I'm Gettin' Nuttin' For Christmas - Relient K

[xD Somebody snitched on me]

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?

Do You Like Boys? - Freezepop

[xD What, am I worried I'm going to accidentally date a gay guy?]

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

Orenji no Taiyou - Gackt

[?]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Flightless Bird, American Mouth - Iron & Wine

["And when the cops closed the fair, I cut my long baby hair, and stole me a dog-eared map, gone for you everywhere..."]

:D

2009-07-21T03:25:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Nothing...yet. :D

Feeling: Hungry, nervous, & giddy

I AM GOING TO THE MOVIES WITH MY CRUSH djkdsfjbd...

And his mom. xD

He invited me to come with him to a free movie. He tacked on at the end that his mother had to come, too. xD So it's not a date but it's sorta a date? I don't know what he intended for it to be, all I know is that I really, really like him. xD

And my best friend is acting normal again, yahootie!

So I'mm going to do the shuffled song meme thingie to pass the time because I have...a little over an hour before I start getting ready. I'll just pray that my hair actual decides to cooperate today (Fat chance).

Put your music player on shuffle. Press forward for each question. Use the song title as the answer to the question. Post on your blog.

Will I get far in life?

Mansard Roof - Vampire Weekend

[O_O']

How do my friends see me?

A Little Bit Longer - Jonas Brothers

[...I'm scared? xD]

Where will I get married?

As We Get Older - Teddy Geiger

[...No comment]

What is my best friends theme song?

I Told You So - Boys Like Girls

[Eh? Which best friend?]

What is the story of my life?

The Diary of Jane - Breaking Benjamin

[I love that song *0*]

What was high school like?

Black Keys - Jonas Brothers

[P.S.- I'm still in high school xD]

How can I get ahead in life?

Let the Flames Begin - Paramore

[Fiesty xD]

What is the best thing about me?

Forever and Always - Taylor Swift

[What? That I fall in love too easily?]

How is today going to be?

Float On - Modest Mouse

[Not sure if that's good or bad]

What is in store for this weekend?

HereGoesNothing - NeverShoutNever

[Epic, I hope.]

What song describes my parents?

The Kids Don't Stand a Chance - Vampire Weekend

[xDDDDDDDDDDDDDD]

My grandparents?

Over Thinking - Relient K

[)-) Huh?]

How is my life going?

Nick J. Is Off Da Chain - Jonas Brothers

[xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD]

What song will they play at my funeral?

Eva the Carrier - A Skylit Drive

[Actually, I just got the Warped Tour and Summer of Rock '09 CDs and I haven't listened to any of the songs yet. xD This is one of them.]

How does the world see me?

Face Down - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

[I wouldn't let someone beat me. @_@ But I am pretty weak and shy.]

Will I have a happy life?

Air Dry - Teddy Geiger

["I kiss the rain, I waited up, you're pouring dragons in my cup."]

What do my friends really think of me?

Thunder (Acoustic) - Boys Like Girls

[They love me? Or are in love with me? xD]

Do people secretly lust after me?

The Grave of Emry Hambric - Kaleb Nation

[xD]

How can I make myself happy?

I'm In Love With a Girl - Gavin DeGraw

[xDDD WHATTHEFUDGE. How about I'm In Love With a Boy, eh? Speaking of, I do like one at this point.]

What should I do with my life?

Stay Out - Hit the Lights

[Another song I haven't heard yet. How sad.]

Will I ever have children?

Our Time Is Here - Demi Lovato, Meaghan Martin, & Aaryn Doyle

[xD It's so amazing to me how I can go from Lovato to Breaking Benjamin in a second.]

What is some good advice?

Poker Face - Lady Gaga

[*takes notes*]

What is my signature dancing song?

Forever In Your Hands - All That Remains

[xD Another unlistened-to song.]

What do I think my current theme song is?

Aluminia (Death Note Ending 1) - Nightmare

[O: Are you comparing me to Imagay Light? xD]

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?

Creeping Out Sara - NoFX

[xD Once again, no listened to]

What type of men/women do you like?

The Ninja Glare - Nigahiga

[xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD LOLing so hard right now.]

What did you think of this meme?

Blur - Britney Spears

[Blurry because this is way too early. xD]

...It is way too early...

2009-07-12T03:09:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Stella by All Time Low

Feeling: Stomach ache

...To be doing this.

But I actually got up earlier than I was planning to. Me and the Parental Units are going and doing some primitive shopping or something. I'm just hoping to get some stuff (Stuff that isn't primitives that they sell at this one shop...). I know I've got a ton of crap lately, but I might find something I can't live without. ;D xD

Anyway, what I'm going to do is (Since I haven't done this on YouTube yet but it will be my next video) post a list of everything in my purse.

Ohyah. I'm that bored.

Read or do not read, I don't really mind. The stomach ache kills me D;

Listening To: Poppin' (Champagne) by All Time Low

LemonDrop the yellow iPod (Technically, it's on charge right now, but it will be in the purse.
Pug notepad
Magenta zebra Hot Topic sunglasses
Happy Bunny notepad
Samsung Juke music earbuds
Teal comb
Lime green and black checkered Hot Topic sunglasses
Metallic pink hairbrush (Scuffed up though D;
Fluffy purple&pink hair tie
Germ-X
Tylenol
Pink and green PolkaDot pen
Lavender and vanilla lotion
Purple camera
Samsung Juke cell phone (Once again, it WILL be in the purse)
Inhaler
Keys
Pink highlighter
WetSlicks AmazeMint in Slaphappy
WetSlicks AmazeMint in Plum Crazy
Bath & Body Works On the Go Shimmer Scent in Vanilla Bean Noel, Twisted Peppermint, and Winter Candy Apple
4-Color Ink Mini-Pen
4 Moist Towlette Packages
H.I.P. Colorpresso in Spunky
Gaurdian Angel Coin with my name on it
Nail clippers
Headache Relief Extra Strength Natural Cure stick

Listening To: Coffee Shop Soundtrack by All Time Low

And in the wallet/mini-purse/thing:

Library card
My cousin's primitive store business card
My other cousin's haircut place business card
Petco P.A.L.S card
PetSmart PetPerks card
Summer reading program card
Jonas Brothers picture
Jonas Brothers picture
Kevin Jonas picture
Nick Jonas picture
Joe Jonas Picture
Bluetooth Headset
PureReflection Lipstick in Mauve in hot pink & black lipstick case
ChapStick TrueShimmer Botanical Berry
Farmhouse Creations Peppermint Giant Lip Balm
Mountain Dew Code Red flavored lip balm
LipSmackers Dr. Pepper flavored lip balm
Good & Plenty flaored lip balm
LipSmackers Set of Three lip balms in Cookie Dough, Bubble Gum, and Cotton Candy
AmericanGirl Sheer pink lemonade gloss (Surprisingly good for something AmericanGirl)
Lancome Juicy Tubes in Raspberry Ice, Beach Plum, Iced Cranberry, Caribe, and Frozen Punch

Crap that I took out of my purse:

Hello Kitty keychain
Lines, Vines and Trying Times Jonas Brothers lyric book
Tiny, tiny plastic green ghost
Mini-radio, green
Broken Four-Leaf clover keychain
Vanilla Raspberry body lotion
And some other stuff I can't remember xD

Also, remember, I add my silver Modella makeup bag sometimes. xD

And that's it. ;D But I'll probably add more today. xD

'HO CRIZZ

2009-07-10T19:49:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Weightless by All Time Low

Feeling: Stomach ache, but otherwise HAPPYLICIOUS

Well, obviously I was grounded.

But it's going to be different this time...

Really, it is.

Anyway, the title is what I've been saying lately. Basically, it means "Oh, crzap."

I have a lot of stuff to tell you guys, but instead of shoving it all into one post, I'll probably just drag it out in a few now that I'm back in pink (Rather than black...Though right now, I'm not actually wearing pink, save for my bright pink hair tie).

I'VE GOT A NEW IPOD. *flail*

It's one of the new Nanos. It's yellow. It's awesome. I just got it today. And I am hyped up. I can't wait to show my friends (Because now that summer's here, they're dragging their lazy acers outside, when I should be taking valuable time to read...oh, what the heck, you know I love 'em. I'd rather be out there than reading).

Listening To: Poppin' (Champagne) by All Time Low

Once again, I'm crushing on the same guy friend I liked last year. And I don't know if he likes me or not because it's just all confusing. And that makes me sad. Because I think his brother is in puppy love with me and I'm totally not in love with him, I'm in puppy love with his brother (Said guy friend), and then another girl comes into the picture...my best friend...and it's like a love square.

But I'd rather not explain our whole situation and about how none of us are going to end up with each other, probably, because of certain circumstances.

Blergh.

Well, I think I'll go. My neck hurts and I have to load music onto my new iPod (Which, thanks to my mom's clever brain, is named LemonDrop).

...But I'm nicknaming it Lemonsmex.

Happy Thoughts

2009-05-27T15:42:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Bokura No Love Style by Hitachiin Hikaru & Kaoru

Feeling: Happy & Annoyed

;D Did you know I can sing this song, in Japanese in all? I just have to have the lyrics in front of me to read by, and I can sing it perfectly. Also the Japanese opening for Ouran High School Host Club, and a little bit of Mata Ashita! Remix, but they go so fast. @_@ And you may be thinking, "This girl is a complete idiot. She listens to Japanese music. Do you even know what they're saying?!?!" Indeed I do. I most always look up the lyrics in English, though sometimes I put it off for a very long time. :DDDD

The reason I'm happy is because I'm listening to Bokura No Love Style in the first place, and anything Japanese makes me squeal like a little girl.

Listening To: Control by Metro Station

Haha. *thinks about all the inside jokes related to this song* Flash (Flash is someone on a petsite I talk too. She's my bestest online frand. And, yes, I play on petsites, but not really for the pets. Mostly just to talk to other nerds...Okay, yes, I play it some for the pets <3<)>

And her blog is the one on my Stone Cold Smexy Blogs list called Arceus. She hasn't made any posts yet, but I'm pestering her, so it will happen eventually. ;D She pretty much does anything I pester her to do, and the other way around.

And the VlogBrothers are another reason I'm happy. They-

Wait, WTF (What The Fudgedumplings? ;DDD)? At the end of Control (On the blog playlist), there's an odd bit of a song at the end. @-@ And same with the Bokura No Love Style. I blame it on Flash, who I asked to make the playlist for me. xD

Listening To: Paranoid by the Jonas Brothers

Have you noticed that they are putting Nick in front more often? They're trying to make him the lead of the band because they think he has the most talent or whatever. That's me theory, anyway. Because mom and dad think he's the superstar and I'm like, "Dude, omgz, WTF, it's Joe and his hotness!" Though when I saw Joe's keeping his hair curly. I was totally freaking out and hoping he wasn't keeping it permanent.

But it is his new hairstyle.

I've already grown to love it ('Cause I love him ;D), but he looks better with it straight, I won't lie. He was the unique straight-haired one DDDDDD:. Oh, well. He's still the hottest guy on earth thus far. Including R. Pattz, Taylor Lautner, and the whole of Metro Station.

Listening To: West Coast Friendship by Owl City

I love this song, because the line: "It's quite clear that I'm stuck here" reminds me so much of being stuck in this stupid, boring state. When I'm older, I'm going to move to some awesome place. I'm bound for better places than this suburb in this boring state. .__. Just gotta kick my lazy streak on everything. xD

I got distracted. What I was going to say, is, I've been watching VlogBrothers (Watching from the beginning so I'm not that many videos in yet), and I wonder if I can become a honorary NerdFighter. Or just a NerdFighter. Without joining their website or anything. *ponder*

And I finally got my bum onto making the banner for this blog, and I think it's pretty sweet. My eyes look really nice in that picture, if I do say so myself. It really shows my depth of kindness, mystery, and secret sorrows. ;DDDDD I'm so epic I epic myself.

Listening To: Bokura No Love Style by Hitachiin Hikaru & Kaoru (YES, AGAIN)

I'll probably jaunt off to find more blogs to read. :3 Hope you keep Following and check out my blogs list. I Follow all of those peeps and they've got some pretty smexy reads.

And sorry if I don't post for awhile, but I swear I'll never abandon this blog.

Changes & Growing Pains

2009-05-26T21:01:00.000-07:00

Listening To: West Coast Friendship by Owl City

Feeling: Remembrance and sadness

I think, without even realizing it, I've changed a lot since my birthday on Feb. 3rd. I'm a whole different person than who I was just a few months ago, and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or if it's just scary.

Some of the things that've changed I don't like. There's times when I really can't stand myself for the things I do, and then there are times I'm proud of the things I do. But which happens more often? What do I do to get more happy moments rather than sad?

This blog has changed a lot, and it's dramtically different from the last two I've had. I mostly don't have any of my original readers from the first blog, but I do have some, like Kelly Para. It's kinda like you guys grew up with me and we've all changed so much.

Like this. Three years or whatever ago, I would never have gotten so serious. The most seriousness that would've been in my blogpost is probably what I had for lunch and how long it took mom to get around to it. I make my own lunch mostly, now.

Listening To: Hot Air Balloon by Owl City

It's decidedly Owl City Day today. Only Owl City music in this post.

If I've changed this much within a few mere months, what will I be like this time next year? Or by my next birthday in Feb.? Will I look dramatically different? Will the Bandit retire and I tear off the bandana and show my full face; show you the introverted Merz?

Will I still be friends with Flash? That seems a certain for me; though, there's a lot of things I thought for certain that I've tore down because of my own self. Some things I'd like to get back, but can't, because of my own stupidity.

This is life, and we have to accept it. Whatever happens, it was meant to happen, we chose our decisions. This life is our own story but we must right in permanent ink, leaving the mistakes behind us as we write on.

Listening To: I'll Meet You There by Owl City

Big News

2009-05-01T16:31:00.000-07:00

Listening To: Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice (xD I'm feeling very white today)

Feeling: Overjoyed and...protective?

You'll never guess what me and the Parental Units went out and bought last night.

A teacup yorkie.

She's the cutest thing you'll ever see in your life.

http://i43.tinypic.com/35k23uw.jpg and http://i43.tinypic.com/35k23uw.jpg are the two best pics I got of her.

Her name is Gracie Mioki-Mae ****** (My last name xD). She's adorable. I stayed up with her all night yesterday, watching anime and surfing the internet.

Listening To: Right Round by Flo' Rida

And I'm staying up with her again tonight. ^-^ It's actually pretty fun. I got about four and a half hours of sleep this morning when I gave her to mom. She was worried and told me I should get at least eight hours, but I told her I'm fine. She gets too worried about me. :3 But I guess that's a Parental Unit's job.

So, yeah. I told mom and dad we HAD to have a Japanese name in their somewhere. But we don't know what it means, only that it's Japanese. xD Which is good enough for me at this point, but I've tried looking it up but I can't find anything. Let me know if you find anything guys. ;DDD

I'm working on my Ouran High School Host Club paper dolls. xD I made the twins first (Omg Hikaru)

Listening To: Ottoman by Vampire Weekend

I've changed my makeup now. I wear it much lighter, and so far, everyone says I look a lot better. So I guess that's okay. But I liked putting it on the way I used to. I feel naked without everything on xD;. As if some of my clothes are missing.

But, hey, if I look hotter, it's not that bad, eh? ;DDD Bad for mom and dad, maybe.

Well, I don't have much to say, except hopefully I'll be updating my blog more often and reading my blogs I'm following more often and commenting. I've really been slacking off on the Blogger front. Reporting for duty, sir!

Listening To: Somebody Told Me by The Killers

Long Time, No Blog

2009-04-13T13:11:00.000-07:00

Listening To: The Dynamo of Volition by Jason Mraz

Feeling: Comfortable enough

I realize I haven't blogged in a long time. First of all, I got a Sally Hansen black nail polish pen. It is the vey sauce made of epic. This is a picture of my nails now, which is also my first attempt at the NPP (Nail Polish Pen).

http://imgplace.com/image/view/cba2d4731ddc555795239bd863eaa250

I'm not sure what else to say, except Easter was great. Made my parents make me up a basket, despite any belief in the Easter Bunny is long gone. xD So I got some candy, the NPP, the Easter basket, which is pink xD, We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things., which is a Jason Mraz cd, bracelets, erm...I think that's it.

Had to entertain my nephew all weekend, which actually wasn't too bad, 'cept I got a bit tired of playing the oldschool Xbox. xD We were going to play Guitar Hero, but it wasn't working right. o3o So the Wii didn't get used this weekend. But the Nintendo DS and oldschool Xbox was. xD The Xbox hadn't been used in years, so I think it's glad.

I want the Nintendo DSi. <3<>

And I still want a Rubik's Cube. D:

My room is a mess, and I need to tidy it up from that long weekend. And I'm still exhuasted.

And there hasn't been a song I've heard by Jason Mraz that I don't like. <3

I can't think of much else to say, except I"m yawning as I type. D:

Which explains the " typo.

Voice Video

2009-03-08T13:25:00.000-07:00

Listening To: iCarly on TV

Feeling: Headache. xD

This is a voice video with pictures people have drew of me, my "fursona" or whatever it's called, and Jolteon, which is also what I'm called. xD Online, that is.

Yep, this is your fave Internet gal's voice alright. ;D xDD